Happy Birthday!

This entry is exclusively for my dear friend, LOVELY NICA LEE!!!

Happy birthday, friend! May this day be filled with so much love and happiness for you.

Thinking About Stuff.

I rarely have time to actually have fun with my life nowadays. So for every opportunity I get to spend some time alone, I take it without any hesitations.

Here I go again blogging. It has really become a habit of mine to post an entry almost everyday. Clearly, this is no longer a hobby for me. It is not a "want" anymore. I have already considered blogging as a necessity in my life. To blog is to live. That's what I think about my Blogger now. As much as possible, I don't want to miss a day without blogging. As often as I can, I'd like my life to go on the record. Why? Well, in a way, I guess...I want to look back and say, "Hey, I actually had a life," and have a smile on my face by the end of the day.

Speaking of living, let me share with you a quote that was sent to me by one of my college kabarkada...

"First I was dying to finish high school and start college. And then I was dying to finish college to start working. And then I was dying to marry and have children. And then I was dying for my children to grow old enough for school so I could return to work. And then I was dying to retire. And now I'm dying...suddenly I realize I forgot to live."

Wasn't that a very fitting quote?

I said it before. Nowadays, I feel so restless. I feel so tired. I feel as if nothing is really making sense anymore. Am I thinking of committing suicide or something? Not even close. It barely even crossed my mind. The mere thought of leaving this world with so many unfinished businesses, it scares me so much.

Maybe that's the reason why I live. I have so many dreams to fulfill, so many goals to achieve. I want them all to come true. I want to prove to myself, of all people, that I have what it takes to show I am a person who is capable of doing anything at her best.

I ate dinner with my best friend and her sister last week. While going back to their condo, Claudia told me that she couldn't imagine me being in PolSci. "Si Kristina pwede pa kasi she's always debating and stuff," she said. This was quite a surprise.

Hmm...wait. I take it back. It's no longer a surprise for me. A lot of people thought that I'd be taking up Journalism or Mass Communication or Communication Arts. Little do they know that I had a thing for Social Sciences. I did the unexpected and took up Political Science. It's not that I have any regrets. Absolutely no regrets, that's for sure! I just wish people would stop thinking that I'd be better off with Journalism than Political Science. Despite all the hardships I've gone through and going through, I love my life in college. Truth, the whole truth and nothing else but.

Writing thesis.
Studying reports.
Researching term papers.
Getting the hang of being Editor-in-Chief.

That's basically how I'm living my life right now. Am I worried I would fail? No doubt about it. However, in more ways than one, I know I can do it.

Waking Up Lonely.

January 29th. Is there really anything to be happy about this day? I don't know. I feel so restless. It's one of those days that I just feel so...dumbfounded. I don't know what else to say. I know there are a lot of things to write about...but somehow, I can't find the words to put it into writing. Could this be writer's block? I don't know. I don't think it is.

I feel sick. I've been feeling sick since last week. Last night, I even felt like I have a fever. Actaully, it's a slight fever. Plus, my stomach is in so much pain. I can't really say how weak I feel inside. My spirits are unusually down. I don't know why. Maybe it's because of stress. I have lots of things to think about and unfortunately for me, I can't seem to find it in me to think of happy thoughts. How I wish I could be happy for a while.

Too cold.

My body is freezing, I had to turn off the electric fan just so I can sleep. Unfortunately (again), I can't sleep anymore. I have been awake since 2:00 in the morning and all I did was lie down and stare at the blackness of the room.

I don't know what's bothering me. I just know there is. I can't seem to pinpoint what exactly it is.

I guess I better get up.

Try not to think about it too much.

Live.

Horrible! Just Horrible!

I went to Harrison Plaza to attend Holy Mass. Who would have thought that after the 5:00 Mass, I would get home by 8:00 in the evening?! Horrible! Just horrible!

After the Mass, my parents and I immediately went out to take the taxi and go home. Unfortunately, there were no cabs we could ride. From the looks of it, it's going to be a long time until we can get one. So we decided to go out the other way and from there, we could go home. That sounds about right.

WRONG!!!

Horrible! Just horrible!

Nothing's moving. All vehicles were not budging even an inch. A lot of people I see are walking and it traffic on both lanes. Grrrr!!!

We were literally stuck in that place for over an hour (approximately one hour and thirty minutes) before we could actually have a, what you call, "smooth sailing."

Horrible! Just horrible!

What a horrible way to spend Sunday. It was supposed to be a day to rest but not one bit of ease or stress-free was felt today. Argh!!!

Horrible! Just horrible!!!

After One Week...

I have been out of sight of Blogger for a week. I missed blogging. I missed it a lot. Imagine...I didn't have any outlet to write my feelings whatsoever. All I ever did the past week was do my thesis, research papers, reports, TS. I was so frustrated! I knew I needed the time to slow down and just let all feelings go. But I couldn't stop myself from doing what I needed to be doing. If I did, then I would be in big trouble.

This past week, I have slept for a total of...hmm...5 to 7 hours. How pathetic! I don't have classes every Tuesday and Thursday, and yet, I still didn't give myself a break. Grrrr...if only I could. Then I'd be sleeping the whole day through. I guess, the reason why I still can't sleep right now is because there's something missing. Probably this whole blogging thing. I never thought I'd miss it this much. It's always good to jot down everything (or at least, almost everything) to release whatever stress or anger or frustration I'm keeping inside. Well, I've been bottling up mixed emotions...not just this past week...but for quite some time, I've been keeping it a secret from most people. I mean, the only person who truly knows what I'm going through at the moment is my best friend. What can I say? I needed to tell someone! I can't tell my parents even though I want to. I'd die before I even think of telling my brothers! My college friends would probably make a big deal of it. My TS friends would probably get all giddy and stuff. *Sigh* Well, that's life.

I was out most of the day. After my class in Modern Political Philosophy (with Sir Boogie, of course), I went straight to my Ortho for my monthly appointment. Ouch! My teeth really hurt! If only I could get rid of these braces, I'd do it now! After going to my the ortho, I went home, ate lunch...and then...I went back to school. I needed to renew the books I borrowed from the library. For my thesis, of course! Four books, I borrowed. Shoot! My bag was so heavy. After going to the library, I went to Starbucks, had my usual Mocha Frappucino, and read the books I had. I stayed there for five hours. My gosh! What was I thinking?! Putting myself through such hardship for thesis?!

In fairness, I'm having a much clearer direction of how I'll go about my thesis. Oh! By the way. Yesterday, during my MethRes subject, Sir Laufred asked us to write who we want as our thesis adviser. Since the second semester started, I wanted Professor Yu to be my thesis adviser but when the paper was in front of me, I realized that I had to choose Sir Peter. My thesis has something to do with Foreign Policy and who better to advise me for this than my professor in Philippine Foreign Policy? It makes sense. My second choice was Sir Laufred. This is only for the reason that he really helped me out in specifying what I could focus on for this thesis and he really made it clear for me. Anyway, I can still ask for help from other professors. There's no harm in that, right?

It's almost February. Do you know what that means? It means that in a few weeks, it's Valentine's Day. February 14th is a Wednesday. Oh shoot! My class is until 6:00 in the evening. Damn! Ok, truth be told. I would love to have a date on V-Day. I would love to go out with someone on "Happy Hearts Day." Some of my friends know who I'm talking about. It would be nice to go out. It's been three years since I had a date and I guess it's just about time to go out and hang out with someone, right? *Sigh* If only I could. I hope...I really hope it happens. To go out with...it would really be like a "dream come true" for me. Hahaha!!! As silly as it may sound, I would love for that to happen.

I'm planning on buying my mom a bouquet. I love giving Mamam flowers on Valentine's Day. Hmm...now what can I give Papi? That's something to think about.

Hmm...is there anything else I have to write about? I guess not at the moment.

I have to go. I need to get some sleep.

Good night!

Last Post for the Day.

Before I go to sleep, I want to post yet another entry. The previous entry didn't give any "happy vibe" so...I want to change that. So that it will all be good. Hehehe...

My Papi asked me earlier if I still had uniform for the week. I said I did the laundry already. When he went out with Mama to attend Mass, I took over the household chores. In short, the cooking. Ahaha! Well, I had to do something besides study and watch television. Sanity has to be brought back to my being. I found it very funny when Papi said "That's good," when I told him what I did when he was still out. I could see how happy he is now that I'm doing my own chores.

It's really great to finally feel that when the time comes that I will be living in my own place, I know that I can live on my own.

Wala lang. Just a little realization that dawned on me a few hours ago.

Yey! Now I'm happy. Weeeee...

Out of Nowhere...

I don't exactly know why I suddenly thought about it. I guess the momentary lapse allowed myself to entertain other things and I ended up sticking to that bubble.

For those of you who don't know yet, in three months, I will be celebrating my birthday. However, this year is not just like another ordinary birthday. I am turning 21 years old. Oh yes! I am going to be 21 on April 13. What a day to look forward to...or is it?

I never really had a birthday I could say I enjoyed very much. Don't get me wrong, there were moments then that made me very happy. But now, when I look back at it, I'd much rather forget I celebrated my birthday rather than remind myself of the emotions I felt during that time.

At first, I thought my 18th birthday would be the most special and most memorable birthday I would ever have. Unfortunately, there were some "issues" and "reasons" I cannot simply pass by, and because of that, my 18th birthday did not turn out exactly the way I planned.

My 19th birthday would have to be considered as the craziest thing I've ever done for my birthday. I spent this day with my Fine Arts friends in Tagaytay. As happy as I was that it was then I got closer to them, I wasn't all that happy because there were a lot of people who weren't there for the reason that they found out my Fine Arts friends are there as well. How shallow, right? To think...I made adjustments because that's what they asked me to do. I don't need to say who these people are. They should know I'm talking about them. Admit it, you made me cry on the day I'm supposed to smile from the time I woke up until the time I went to sleep.

Last year was even worse. I didn't even get to spend my birthday to celebrate anything. Sure, there were people who greeted me, there were some people who didn't make my day any better because they "didn't realize it was my birthday that day" even though we were already talking to each other. What was I doing on my birthday? I was working. How sad.

It's really heartbreaking to think about it...to think that I never really had a birthday I enjoyed 100 percent. There's always that itty-bitty sadness that would hide just to make others think that I was happy.

Now...

What do I want to have for my 21st birthday?

Of course, I would be having a dinner party with my family. But what about the others?

Simple. All I want for my birthday is to spend my day with the 4 very special people in my life -- my best friend Chi, my "ate" Claudia, my "panganay" Alla, and my bru Euki. That's all. 24 hours with them...and it would be enough.

For my other friends, well, of course I want to spend my birthday with them as well. When I spend it with them, a simple get-together is enough to make me happy.

A friend asked me if I ever dreamed of celebrating my birthday big time. My answer was...yes. Of course, I have. I still am.

If given the chance, I want to celebrate it in a very exclusive place where the people there are my very close friends. No family members. Not that I don't want to be with them. Celebrating my birthday with my family is another thing. To celebrate it with friends is another thing I want.

I imagined that my friends are wearing casual-dressy attires. The girls wearing dresses and the guys wearing polos and slacks. I even imagined there would be a program of some sort. Hahaha!!! Debut-ish as it may seem...I still want that to happen. It would be great to have that kind of celebration. I'd be having fun with my friends and in the end, I'd get to dance with them. Yes...it would be nice to have that kind of celebration.

Well, I guess I should stop daydreaming. It's not very good to daydream all the time.

Gotta go.

I'll try to get back later.

Ciao!

Thesis...Here I Come.

I have six days to write at least a forty-page Chapter One of my thesis. Argh! To tell you honestly, I don't want to start Chapter One of my thesis just yet. Why? For the simple reason that I have no clue if my thesis has actually been approved by the department. Sir Laufred, our MethRes professor, said that Sir Peter will be giving back our discussion papers tomorrow when we go one on one with him. After talking to Sir Peter, we will then talk to Sir Boogie for some of his comments about our thesis topics. Oh how I dread to face them. I just don't know whether I can handle it or not. My thesis is on job outsourcing. I wish to study the impact of outsourcing, particularly in the field of Information and Communications Technology, in the economy and politics of the countries. I also wish to to study the impact of outsourcing in foreign policy.

...

All right, I get it. By the time you got to the last sentence, you're probably falling asleep and going "Zzzzzzzzzzzz." So no more of that. My gosh! I just want to get it over with.

It's a Sunday morning and I'm worrying about school stuff. Can't I, at least, get a day of actual rest and relaxation? Don't I deserve it? *Sigh*

Hmm...what will I do today? Well, after I attend Mass, I will finish my report in International Relations/Politics. Oh! And I need to go out and buy something for Tita Belen. It's her birthday tomorrow and I want to get her something. I was thinking of a bag or a purse. Just a little something to let her know I remembered her birthday. Besides, I'm going over to their place tomorrow so...I guess, that's enough to let Tita know how much she means to me. Hehehe...

How could I not possibly give her something? Hello!!! She gave me Revlon cosmetics. My gosh! I didn't expect that from Tita. So I want to give her something in return.

Hehehe...

Anyway, I have to go. I still have to prepare breakfast.

Later!

Midterms Done.

Oh yes! My midterm examinations are up and I have nothing to worry about...

NOT!!!

Of course I have things to worry about. Who doesn't?

I went to my high school this afternoon. It was the annual fair. Since I had spare time to visit my school, I thought it would be nice to see what's new in CSR.

When I got there, I think the people who were there were more surprised to see me than I was to see new facilities in the school. Hehehe. What's to be surprised? I was still the same Margie when I left the school...only with longer hair. That was basically what's new with me.

It was great seeing a lot of my batchmates. I even saw my sis, Juice! We didn't get to talk much but we'll be able to catch up one way or another.

Well, I don't really have much time to blog right now. I'm trying to finish my report for International Relations/Politics.

Ciao!

Good night!

Thoughts Before I Sleep.

I wanted to end this day feeling good. Unfortunately, there was only one good thing that happened...and that was the time when I was texting...well...a-name-I-would-not-dare-mention.

The day couldn't get any worse. We had our MethRes class today and what a major news that next meeting, we will be submitting the first draft of Chapter One. What the hell?!? How could I possibly submit Chapter One of my thesis if I still don't know what they approved to be the topic for my thesis?!? Hello?!?

Our professor said that whether or not we have our discussion papers with us, it's still a go for everyone. I cannot believe I'm actually hearing this. This is absolutely preposterous! Argh!!! I hate this!!! I was already in tears during his class. I didn't mind it, considering almost everyone was in tears upon hearing the news. I hate it. No compromises, he said. The pressures were on and he was going to give us every bit of the pressure we try so hard to avoid.

It was then that it dawned on me what Ate Misty told me about the professor. I didn't hear anything good about him. So I didn't expect him to be the kind of professor I wanted him to be.

After the class, I texted...you know. I still can't say who the person is because I am not ready for people to find out who he is...especially because someone very close to him is reading my blog from time to time. Don't worry. I'll tell you who he is. In the meantime, settle for "Anonymous."

So I texted "Anonymous." I told him how frustrated I was and how hopeless I felt after hearing the big scoop on my thesis. It's a good thing he replied. I would have gone crazy if he didn't. At least, there was someone like him who knew I needed comforting.

That was it. That was the only time that I felt a glow in myself. Oh woe is me!

Now I have to go back to reality.

Time to go to sleep.

I am absolutely knocked out after going through "Highway Through Hell."

Good night.

I Wish.

I am not a poet.

As much as I would like to be, I'm just not.

But I try to be. Though it is not a calling for me to be a literary writer, I try. After all, there's no harm in trying.

* * *

I wish you could see
What I've gone through for the past few days
Then maybe you would have been able to take me in your arms and comfort me

I wish you could feel
The sadness I've been feeling
Then maybe you would have shed the tears that were falling from my eyes

I wish you could hear
My call when I needed somebody
Then maybe you would have been there and made me feel I wasn't alone

I wish you could read my mind
At times when I have been down
Then maybe you would know that I needed you by my side

I wish you could just wake up
And see the reality that I am trying to show you
Then maybe you would realize that when I need a somebody...

...That somebody I need is no one else but you.

On TS and My Fear.

We worked on The Scholastican's second issue and from that moment, I felt the pressures of being the next Editor-in-Chief. Honestly, I haven't told anyone that I am taking over the publication...except, of course, my high school barkada. Hell, I haven't even told my parents or my brothers yet! The thing is...the more that I think about it, the more anxious I am to step up and be the EIC. And the more people who know about my being the EIC mean the more realistic it is becoming.

Lei and I had "the talk." I told Lei that since the time she told me she was resigning, I wasn't able to sleep; I felt the heavy burden. I told her how I unprepared I was for the position. She told me that neither was she when she became the EIC.

How I wish I could have said "no" to Ms. Wowie when she asked me in front of the Editorial Board if I'd accept the responsibilities passed on to me by Lei. As much as I was tempted to, I couldn't possibly do it. I love this publication too much to let it down and disappoint my fellow editors. I don't have it in me to just quit on something that I consider to be a part of my life. That's not just how I work. I still believe that there are things that can be done to fix whatever needs to be fixed.

I would be lying if I said that I didn't feel angry when Lei decided to resign. Of course, I felt the momentary frustration, the short-lived rage. I wanted to be mad, more so, stay mad. But I simply couldn't do it.

I don't know. Until now, I'm still having a surge of mixed emotions. It's kind of confusing to think about it too much...so I try not to dwell on it the whole day.

Boy, this is a good way to start the day. A blog on my fear of stepping up. Whoopee...what a way to go. If only I could end it on a good note. I just hope this feeling of despair would not last any longer.

Oh gosh...how I wish there was a certain somebody who could cheer me up. If only I could get a "hi" or a "hello" from...then maybe I'd forget about this whole thing...

...even for just a little while.

Taking on a New Role.

A few days ago, I said that there was something big that happened. At that time, I couldn't say anything about it because the people concerned do not have any idea about it. But now that it's out in the open, I can get it out of my system.

I received a text message from Lei:

"Be ready.. I already submitted my resignation letter to ms. wowie.. Will talk to you soon.."

My heart sank. My body felt so heavy. My weariness was much more evident than before. I didn't want to think that Lei could even entertain the idea that she would resign as the Editor-in-Chief of The Scholastican. As a matter of fact, whenever she would mention things like that, I would get angry...not because I was to take over, but because I was afraid she would regret it in the end. I was one of those people who believed that Lei's term as EIC would be a great one. I had so much confidence in her that I never stopped believing that whatever comes, she can make it work.

But I guess there were just some things that happened that made her decide to resign. So even though I don't want her to leave TS, I respect her decision. I prayed that it wouldn't go to this but then again, God may have better things for her.

I'm going to miss Lei. You know, as part of TS. It's different when you spend three years with someone in the publication and not get close. It's like losing a member of a family. Truth be told, I cried last night. It was then that I felt there was no more turning back. Lei has resigned and I am officially taking over. I am still not sure whether it was a blessing or a curse. I still have doubts. I am not ready. I don't know what to do at this point.

I'm afraid. I'm very scared of what's in store for the publication now that I am the EIC. A lot of people are telling me that I can do it. A lot of my friends are giving me assurance that I had it coming. Two of them are convincing me that I will do good.

I won't lie. Since I started college, I have always dreamed of becoming Editor-in-Chief. Since I studied in SSC, I have always imagined of what I will do in TS when I become EIC. When I started as a writer for Features, the PolSci department have made known their excitement when my turn as EIC comes.

But now that it's here...now that I have it...can I make it? As the famous line of Uncle Ben in Spiderman goes, "With great power comes with great responsibility."

Hmm...

I guess we'll see what happens next.

Random Thoughts.

Ever since I was in fifth grade, I have always wanted to write. No doubt about it. Writing is not just a hobby for me. It is one of my passions in life. To write is a way for me to live. Never a day goes by when I don't get to write about something. I have always kept a journal. In it are my innermost desires and ambitions, secrets I have never shared with anyone, a love found and a love lost...anything and everything there is to write about, I have written it in my journal. It's quite amazing that I have yet to get tired of doing it. Now that I think about it, it will be a shock if I stopped writing.

I know. I'm not taking up Journalism or Communication Arts or Mass Communication. I am in my third year as an AB PolSci/IR student. I have absolutely no intentions of shifting whatsoever. After all, I have always wanted to work in government agencies. However, I have this feeling that when I work after college, it won't be related to my course. Rather, I believe that my first job will have something to do with my skills in print media.

Truth be told, I have always wanted to have my own magazine. Yes, my very own magazine. I want to go into that business. Writing is my life. Everybody knows that. I want to release a magazine that is not so light like CandyMag and not too heavy like TIME. I want my magazine to be a little bit of both. Hm...I'll tell you about that next time.

I'm feeling a bit tired now...I better go get some sleep.

Good night!

Midterms Week.

It's that time of the semester when I am once again haunted by what I've learned in the past couple of months. It's my midterms week and I just can't get over the fact that I have a lot of things to study about. I am packed with so many lessons for the past two months, *sigh* my head is already splitting just thinking about it.

Tomorrow, I will be having my midterms in CompEuro. What's the coverage of the exam? My...do you really want to know?

Everything.

From the very beginning until the last slide of the last report (which happens to be mine).

I don't know. I'm kind of freaking out! There are a lot of stuff to do and I just can't find the time to do it all together.

Lord, help me!

Something came up the other day and...hmm...actually, I can't tell you what it is now. Don't worry, I'll be telling you soon. I just have to get through this for a while. Let all the things sink in before everything else. I don't know. It was a big surprise when it hit me. Is it a good thing? It is, in a way. I guess...I just didn't expect it to be like this. Something inside me, it was bound to happen. I started to have that "feeling" a few months back. I prayed it wouldn't happen but...it did. Now, it's here.

I know it's a little bit vague but it will all be clear when I post about it the next time.

Back to midterms.

I don't know what to think about it anymore. I just want to finish everything. I just want to go on and deal with it, holding my head up high.

I guess I should be ending this entry.

I'll be back.

Can't Get Enough of the "MahnaMahna" and the "Come Mr. Taliban"

The Muppets - MahnaMahna





Come Mr. Taliban

Quotable Quotes for the Day.

Here we go again. Today is another one of those days when I just remember certain things people say.

* * *

Angel: The Lion is distinguished by the use of the force --
Sir Bugaoan: "Use of the force"??? [long pause] Zwhang...

* * *

Ykai: (singing) Ring ring ring ring ring Banana Phone

* * *

Lei: (points to Me) Egg-eater!!! Ayoko nga tumingin kay Marge habang kumakain siya...

* * *

Ykai: (leans over to Me) Kumusta naman ang egg, Marge?

* * *

Paolo: (voice echoing in the whole place) Excuse me, di ba ikaw yung classmate ni Andrea? Ni Maria? [I nod confusedly] Andyan ba siya ngayon?

Margie: (left eyebrow raises) Wala.

Paolo: Ah ok, thank you. Ako yung nakasama ninyo noon. Yung pumunta tayo sa El Pueblo. Kasama si Marvi.

Margie: (realization dawns) Aaaaah!

Paolo: Yeah. Dyan na ako sa CSB. Sige. Bye!

* * *

Since hearing "Banana Phone," Ykai just couldn't get enough of it and she ended up singing it all day long. To commemorate Ykai's fascination with the song, here it is.

Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring
Banana phone
Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring
Banana phone

I've got this feeling
so appealing
for us to get together and sing - SING!

Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring
Banana phone
Ding dong ding dong ding dong ding
Donana phone

It grows in bunches
I've got my hunches
Its the best
beats the rest
cellular modular
interactivodular

Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring
Banana phone
Ping pong ping pong ping pong ping
Ponana phone

Its no baloney
It aint a phony
My cellular
Bananular phone

Don't need quarters
don't need dimes
to call a friend of mine
dont need computer or tv
to have a real good time
I'll call for pizza
I'll call my cat
I'll call the whitehouse, have a chat
I'll place a call around the world
Operator get me beijing jing jing jing

Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring
Banana phone
Ying yang ying yang ying yang ying
Yanana phone
It's a real live mama and papa phone
a brother and sister and a dogaphone
a grandpa phone and a grandma phone too - oh yeah
my cellular bananular phone

Banana phone
ring... ring... ring...
Its a phone with appeal (a peel)

Banana phone
ring... ring... ring...
Now you can have your phone and eat it too

Banana phone
ring... ring... ring...
This song drives me .... bananas

Banana phone
ring... ring... ring...

Bo ba do ba do do doob

Getting Ready for Machiavelli.

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!

I don't want to go to school today. I just want to sleep all day. I just want to lie down on my bed and sleep like a baby. Oh the horror! Now, I have to face Niccolo Machiavelli in our Modern Political Philosopher class with Sir Boogie. Damn!!! I am really in no mood to go to class. If only I could skip it.

No...I couldn't possibly do that. I'd be taking a big risk here, not attending Sir Boogie's class. I've done my readings and all. I guess I can answer the questions he's going to ask. It's just that...I feel so sleepy! Huhuhu...can't I just sleep through the day without being disturbed?!?

Oh well...time to face the music.

Machiavelli.

*Sigh*

Emotional.

I am no fan of American Idol's Season 3 Runner-Up Diana DeGarmo. In fact, I wanted her to be out of the finals as early as possible. However, yesterday, I heard one of her songs from her album, Blue Skies. The song is called "Emotional." When I listened to it, I could really relate to it. I loved the song.

Sometimes I get emotional
Sometimes I do some stupid things
Sometimes I say what I should just keep inside
Sometimes I'm sad about everything
Sometimes I'm mad and break some things
Sorry times 10 but you just got in the way

Don't give up now running away
I won't hurt you sometimes I'm just a pain
And that's the way it is
That's just the way I am

Sometimes I feel like crying
Laying down and dying
That's when I need you
Laughing's always easy, but sometimes I'm just scared you'll leave me
That's when I feel emotional

You say I'm just impossible
Totally unpredictable
I'm just a girl get use to it
No big deal
You can't change me why would you try?
I'm no angel but I can make you smile
And that's the way it is
That's just the way I am

Sometimes I feel like crying
Laying down and dying
That's when I need you
Laughing's always easy but, sometimes I'm just scared you'll leave me
That's when I feel emotional

Don't give up
I won't hurt you
Oh, sometimes I'm just a pain
And that's the way it is
That's just the way I am

That's when I need you
Laughing's always easy but, sometimes I'm just scared you'll leave me
That's when I feel oh yeah
That's when I need you
Sometimes I get emotional

On a Friday Morning.

It's a Friday morning and I am once again wide awake. This probably means that there's something I have to do for today. *Sigh* I can't concentrate right now. I just can't. My mind is thinking about a lot of things, my body is beginning to feel weak. Midterms will start on Monday. So I start reviewing everything.

There are moments when I feel it's better to just give up...when I feel it's better to just don't exert any effort. I feel like I can't do it and no matter how I try and what I do, I simply can't do it. It's sad...but I can't help feel that way at times.

What would happen if I just let everything go?

Oh the other side would be rejoicing, throwing a party and all that, that's for sure. Of course, there's that another side where I would be feeling the regrets, the sadness, the hopelessness.

The easy thing to do is, obviously, to give up.

But the thing is --

It's not an option for me.

I could try to give up on everything that I do, but in the end, I won't allow myself to. Giving up is not a choice for me. So even if my body's all weak, even if my mind's not 100% focused, I am still up for it.

It's a Friday morning.

It means I better start reviewing the lessons for the day.

Thursday Morning.

Lately, I've been waking up around 2:30 in the morning for no reason at all. I don't even have classes today and yet I woke up at the break of dawn. It's not really because I couldn't sleep or anything. As a matter of fact, I've been sleeping like a baby since vacation. The thing is...it's too cold! Really! I don't know if it's only me...but I can't bear the coldness of dawns. Of course, I'm referring to the situation as of late.

Let me see. Thursday...what can I do? Ah...well, I will be preparing myself for my Methods of Research. I've got theories to study, papers to write...you name it. I'm preparing myself for another day of a head spinner.

Commercial break: Wowee! My hair so soft and smooth right now...this is nice...hehehehe.

Anyway, I guess this is all I have to post now. I'll be back later. I hope.

Are You Ready?

Once again, I woke up a little bit earlier that I should have. Recently, that's what happens to me. How I wish I could just sleep through the whole day and dream about...well, pretty stuff. Hahaha!

Are you ready?

This is the famous line that Triple H would ask the audience whenever D Generation X would be in the arena.

No!!! I said -- ARE YOU READY?

I just love it when Triple H does that. Hahaha!

The question fits perfectly to what I'm going through. Today is a Wednesday, which means my dismissal isn't until 6:00 in the evening. Shoot! I forgot that my classes are until the evening every Wednesday and Friday. As usual, I'm looking forward to my class with Professor Yu. Why wouldn't I? His class is the only subject that I can easily learn from. It's not that I'm not learning anything from my other classes, Philippine Foreign Policy and Women's Studies. Don't get me wrong, I like the subjects. I just have a problem with the professors.

Sir Peter is not my idea of a great mentor, given the fact that he has mood swings. High mood swings which is very peculiar for a guy. I could only hope that I do not get to see him today. And Ms. Usog...*sigh* what can I say? I'm sorry, it's just...her teaching style is just...well, how do I put it nicely? Boring? Lame? Sorry, Miss -- that's really how I feel. Seriously, I could sleep through the class and I would still know what you've discussed. Cocky as I may sound but it's true.

International Relations/Politics. My class with Professor Yu today. This is where the question fits in. You see, I've been studying throughout the day about my report in his class: Hezbollah. Am I ready to report? I sure hope so. Originally, I am the 12th reporter for the semester. But as it turns out, no one was safe. Anyone could report at anytime. So it's really preparation time for me.

Before I end this entry, there's something troubling me. Since we got back to school, everyone in my class has been nagging me about this "someone" that I'm supposed to have. They kept on pressing the issue that I have a boyfriend already which is absolutely not true! I am nowhere near having a boyfriend...come on! Oh help me get through this day as I am about to face people who will once again tease me about my love life.

Triple H asks: "Are you ready?"

My answer: I wish.

Taking a Break.

I think this is a good time to take a break. I've been studying for five straight hours and my mind is just all over the place.

I have been reading a lot of the research I've done about Hezbollah and until now I am not yet through with my report. I am nowhere near done, that's all I can say. I have all these information to synthesize and I just hope that with all the knowledge I've gathered from studying Hezbollah, I can answer the questions that would possibly be thrown at me. Oh how I wish...

Enough break. I still have tons of things to do.

Sorry for the very short entry. I'll make it up to you...when I get to post again...

Ciao!

Tuesday Morning.

I woke up about an hour ago, with my blanket covering me head to toe. It's so cold! Brrrr...I was literally shaking!

*Sigh* It didn't turn out to be a good day for me yesterday. Somebody was testing my patience. Let's name this certain somebody as "Anonymous." The person was just so impossible to talk to. I just didn't say anything. I don't want to appear too defensive or too disrespectful. You see, Anonymous is the type of person who feels very disrespected when you talk back even when you're simply trying to state an opinion. It's a one way street for Anonymous. There's only one person right -- and that's Anonymous. Oh the EGO!!!

Grrrr!!! The way Anonymous kept on making side comments even when there's nothing to say! I hate it! It's a wonder how I could stand a person like Anonymous. I tell you, it's a miracle. One second Anonymous is funny, the next second, Anonymous turns into this egomaniac.

But that's done. It's finished. I'm through! I am not in a bad mood anymore and I don't want to go back to feeling that way...not when I am doing my school work.

Here's my "To Do List for the Day:"

10:00 am >> Go to school and meet up with Zendee at the Pergola
10:30 am >> Be home and prepare lunch for the day
12:00 nn >> EAT!!!
01:00 pm >> Do my report in International Relations/Politics (HEZBOLLAH)
03:00 pm >> Read handouts in Philippine Foreign Policy
05:00 pm >> Edit articles for the Third Issue
06:30 pm >> DINNER TIME!!!
07:30 pm >> Do whatever I have to, want to, need to

That's what I got so far. Hehehe...

Anyway, I better go now.

I think I'll get a few more hours of S-L-E-E-P.

Back to School.

Quotable quote of the day: "Pig ka ba?"

I don't know how Lovely Nica Lee does it, but she has her unique way of delivering punch lines. Hahahaha! That's what she Ykai when we were at lunch, talking about the Year of the Pig. Yes, it's back to school. Oh how I wished there was some way the vacation could've extended but like they say, "good things must come to an end."

First things first. I attended my majors today, CompEuro and CultHis. Oh my gosh! My head was all over the place. I mean, don't get me wrong, I was listening the whole time I was in class. It's just that I was so tired, given that I was slaving myself to making a great report in my CompEuro and an almost perfect presentation in CultHis. Now wait a minute, I wasn't cramming, all right? Let's see you try to synthesize over a hundred pages of research you have read and studied for your report in CompEuro. Let's see you try to analyze and criticize 398 pages of editorial cartoons and their respective articles. Now you tell me how you're going to handle that all at the same time. Maybe you can give me a few tips on how I can do all these things without driving myself insane.

There's nothing really to say, you know. I mean, it was a typical school day. That was it.

Anyway, I have to get back to my studies.

Ciao!

Before Starting the Day.

More and more, I am feeling the pressures and stresses of going back to school. I still have a lot of things to do. Heck, I'm not even done with my report for Monday's class with Professor Yu. Everything I do...it's giving me one hell of a headache. Like I said, the Glorietta trip last Thursday was well worth it. Hmm...I just wish there was some way I could get away from studying again just for a few hours today. I few hours of rest and relaxation today, that's what I'm hoping I'd get.

It's nice that I could squeeze in blogging at least once everday. But don't get used to it. For sure, when I go back to school on Monday, it's not going to be like this. Oh, I'll try to update you as much as possible.

Oh my gosh! Two days to go before I go back to school and I still don't have a planner for 2007!!! Now I really have got to get out and buy. I'm serious. I need that planner. It's not that easy to buy a planner for me, you see. Due to the very hectic schedule I have almost everyday, I need a full page time table for every single day. Now where am I going to buy myself that? I couldn't find anything at National Bookstore at Glorietta. Oh my!

This entry's going to be a short one. I still have to go to my ortho appointment.

Ciao!

Barkada Gimik Pictures: Part Two

Alla: Why the hell is Margie being wacky?













There's a gap between the two.









Mean girls.









Alla just can't hold back the smile.









Chi wishes she gained weight over the holidays. Sorry Chi. Better luck next time.








All we wanted was to gain a little weight.









Alla picked something out.













After buying something at Ba-Yo.













A pose from Euki...with the red curtain.













Me and my Bru.













Alla and Euki pose for a picture.













Chi thought she was an angel. Hehehe...









Me and my bezzie at Starbucks.













Chi!!!









Chi takes a picture of...Alla, I think.









It's Euki with the cellphone.









Euki with the Starbucks Planner.













This is the feast we're going to eat.









Time to start eating. Yummy Belgian Waffle!!!













Chi with the digicam.










Oh my! It's all gone!













Even Alla is kind of depressed.













Euki's depressed also.









It's all gone.









The Aftermath.

Barkada Gimik Pictures: Part One

Chi and I are going to Glorietta










Chi and I are still on the MRT on our way to Glorietta










Alla and Chi goes international










Trying to figure out Chi's digicam










Chi and Euki










Alla and Chi...partners in crime










The Brus













Endorser of the Sony Ericsson Walkman Phones










My Bez, My Bru, My Panganay










Mag-ina













We're on TV!










Wanna get buff?













Join Gold's Gym













Nice jacket...













Alla found something she likes...













Chi wants to play










A game for the four of us.










Chi at Kamiseta










I need to take a break from all the walking










Alla looking for a skirt










Euki doing some serious shopping










The "Naynay" is a kook.













First try.










Second try.