Thursday, November 30, 2006

Thoughts.

As much as possible, I try my best not to post an entry about...love. Why? Well, let's just say I had a bad experience with blogging about my emotions of a certain someone. But right now, I think I have to.

Here's the thing. I'm kind of at a point where I'm back to liking someone again. For a year, I was at the brink of self-destruction. I cried day and night because of him. I neglected everything because I was so depressed.

But now, after everything I've been through because of him, I'm back on track. I have my life back...though not completely, I'm getting there.

Reality is...there's someone I'm starting to like again. Ok. Not really being honest here. There are actually two people that I'm crushing on. Hey, wait a minute. Hold on! It's not that I'm playing in the field, all right? It's just that these two guys really stand out from the rest of the guys.

The first one, well, we've been communicating since last month and it's nice to keep in touch with him once in a while. Although we still have yet to see each other, I don't really mind waiting. I know there's a lot of opportunities to see each other. I guess the "right time" has yet to come.

The second one...ah...I have to admit that I had a crush on him before. But since he was with someone and I was having a thing for someone else...well, you know how it went. But recently, we've been texting each other and we've talking on the phone from time to time, so there. I guess my crush on him re-emerged from down deep. Hehehe...

A part of me feels that this is really wrong. Not because I'm ashamed to like two people simultaneously (Hey! I've seen a lot of people gushing on ten people at the same time). It doesn't feel right because I feel like I still don't know the two guys well enough to actually like them. Sure, I've already hung out with them but that doesn't mean I know them enough.

Of course, the bigger part of me feels that this is good. I guess this serves as a sign that my heart is, piece by piece, going back the way it used to be. Maybe it's a sign that I can fall in love with someone again and actually love that someone when time comes.

I'm happy. Really, I am. Of course, I'm not yet sure what lies ahead with regards to my love life. I'm not sure if that someone meant for me is right in front me or someone I have yet to meet. Bottom line is I AM happy.

Hmm...there goes the matters of the heart for now.

Ciao.

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