Monday, November 06, 2006

A Different Turn of Events.

From the time I woke up, I immediately planned that my entry for today will be a happy one because It is, after all, the first day of the second semester. But what I thought as a exciting day turned out to be a rather depressing one.

This morning, I was hanging out with my friends at B304. We were not able to meet our professor in Comparative Government today (which we learned in the afternoon that our professor there is Professor Yu). My friends and I were talking about our friends outside of St. Scho, the "Tag Team." I can't really explain how the "Tag Team" was established in our circle of friends. That's a whole new story. Anyway, we were telling to one another that soon enough, we'll be seeing the "Tag Team" once again and we were all really excited when that finally happens. Just then, Doray got a message from her friend, Harold. That was the time that everyone in our group felt as if everything just went black.

Roy Marasigan died 2:00 in the morning. Cause of his death -- dengue.

We were in shock! No one could believe it. We didn't really know how to react to such news. We thought it was a joke. But then again, who would joke like that?! Then Doray texted her other friends...and it was confirmed. Roy passed away.

My friends and I then decided that we go to his wake at Divine Mercy at Muntinlupa. Before going there, Tetel, Chatti and I were just saying how in disbelief we really were about the whole thing. How could this have happened?! No one in our circle even knew he was sick. We just could not accept the fact that he's gone! I even told them that I felt that even if I did see him in the casket, I wouldn't believe that he's indeed dead.

We (Tetel, Chatti, Doray, Tracy and I) left school around 3:00 in the afternoon and went to Park & Drive to meet up with Gian and from there, we all rode a bus and headed for the funeral home. On the bus, I can't say that I was my usual self. Thoughts of seeing Roy in the casket scared me to death because if I did, that would mean he's really gone -- forever. I don't really think I could actually accept that reality. I know we're not that close but the thing is...we had our good times and all those memories will be in my heart forever. I thought of how Roy's friends are, knowing that they just lost a friend. I thought of how his family is doing, considering that their family just went through a loss of a family member earlier this year. On the month of April, Roy's father died due to cancer. Now him. How much heartbreak could his family go through?

We got there about an hour and a half later. We were trying to ready ourselves for what we have to face in there. From the entrance we saw that it was actually real. It read that in the Diamond Room lies the body of "Roy Vincent Marasigan."

We walked up to the room and saw his family and his barkada. Then we saw the casket. No one really knew what to do next. We were all so scared to go up front and see his lifeless body lying on the open casket. After a few minutes of pondering, we all decided to go and see for ourselves that it was really him.

It was him. Yes. His body in the casket. But still, our minds rejected that Roy was definitely gone...for good...never to be seen again. We looked at the body and we felt that it wasn't him. I guess it's because it's been almost two years since we last saw each other and we couldn't recognize him as that guy lying on the casket. I already wanted to cry. Tears were already welling up in my eyes. All that's left was for the tears to fall. But I didn't cry. I held back the tears. I didn't really want to show any emotions there.

But Doray...she cried so hard. Before she even went to see Roy's body, she was telling us how scared she was because she just couldn't handle the reality that he is indeed gone. But she had to, right? She had to go there and see for herself.

Dick, one of Roy's barkada, told us that Roy has been sick since Tuesday last week. His fever just wouldn't go down 40 degrees. On Thursday, Roy was already taken to the hospital and he was in the ICU since then. It was only yesterday that Dick and the others found out that Roy was in the hospital because Roy's mother was looking for blood donors for him. Although they did found donor/s, it could be that his body just...shut down. Dick even told us that at 12 midnight, he and a couple of his friends were riding a car and they were having a bit of music playing, to cheer themselves up, I guess. All of a sudden, their car broke down...right in front of Divine Mercy Viewing Chapels.

Also, Dick told us this story that Roy's Friendster account has changed its background two weeks ago. According to Dick, in their circle of friends, their backgrounds in Friendster have always been black. Roy, on the other hand, changed it to pure white. In his profile, there was a poem there about love.

Roy's birthday was coming up. He was supposed to celebrate it on the 9th. Dick said that Roy's burial will be on his birthday.

It just broke my heart.

We left the funeral home around 6:00. No one knew how to begin the conversation but I guess it was only natural that it would start with, of course, Roy. From there, we tried to remember the times we had fun hanging out with Roy.

...and we all went our separate ways.

* * * * *

My heart still couldn't take the burden that it had faced this day. But I will be all right. Because knowing Roy, he didn't want any of his friends to be sad.

Roy,

I know you're in a better place. You hold a special place in my heart and I hope you know that. Even though we're not that close, you are one friend I will forever remember.

I'll miss you forever...

...to the Tag Team.

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