Thoughts.

As much as possible, I try my best not to post an entry about...love. Why? Well, let's just say I had a bad experience with blogging about my emotions of a certain someone. But right now, I think I have to.

Here's the thing. I'm kind of at a point where I'm back to liking someone again. For a year, I was at the brink of self-destruction. I cried day and night because of him. I neglected everything because I was so depressed.

But now, after everything I've been through because of him, I'm back on track. I have my life back...though not completely, I'm getting there.

Reality is...there's someone I'm starting to like again. Ok. Not really being honest here. There are actually two people that I'm crushing on. Hey, wait a minute. Hold on! It's not that I'm playing in the field, all right? It's just that these two guys really stand out from the rest of the guys.

The first one, well, we've been communicating since last month and it's nice to keep in touch with him once in a while. Although we still have yet to see each other, I don't really mind waiting. I know there's a lot of opportunities to see each other. I guess the "right time" has yet to come.

The second one...ah...I have to admit that I had a crush on him before. But since he was with someone and I was having a thing for someone else...well, you know how it went. But recently, we've been texting each other and we've talking on the phone from time to time, so there. I guess my crush on him re-emerged from down deep. Hehehe...

A part of me feels that this is really wrong. Not because I'm ashamed to like two people simultaneously (Hey! I've seen a lot of people gushing on ten people at the same time). It doesn't feel right because I feel like I still don't know the two guys well enough to actually like them. Sure, I've already hung out with them but that doesn't mean I know them enough.

Of course, the bigger part of me feels that this is good. I guess this serves as a sign that my heart is, piece by piece, going back the way it used to be. Maybe it's a sign that I can fall in love with someone again and actually love that someone when time comes.

I'm happy. Really, I am. Of course, I'm not yet sure what lies ahead with regards to my love life. I'm not sure if that someone meant for me is right in front me or someone I have yet to meet. Bottom line is I AM happy.

Hmm...there goes the matters of the heart for now.

Ciao.

Last Post for the Month.

No class today. It was declared by Malacañang that classes today in all levels are suspended because of Super Typhoon Reming. It didn't matter to me because I don't have classes today anyway. Although it was kind of surprising to see that there was no trace of the coming of the typhoon. No rains whatsoever. The sky was certainly dim though. Nonetheless, no rain.

I did a lot of school work today. Comparative Government and Politics in Europe and America. International Relations/Politics. Philippine Foreign Policy. Cultural History of the Philippines. Methods of Research.

Oi! Oh my goodness! My head is totally spinning! Information overload.

You know. I have to admit. There are times when I just don't know when to stop. This was supposed to be a day for me to just relax and take it easy. The thing is, I just couldn't control myself. I feel like I need to get a hold of my books and my notebook and study or else I'm going to explode. Weird, I know. But hey...it's not my fault, all right?

*Sigh* Going back to what I've been doing earlier.

Whoopee...

Friday Afternoon.

I don't usually do this...but since there's nothing to do for the moment, I have decided to log in my blog and post.

Right now, I'm in the TS office. Yes, yes, I know the internet in the office is not meant for personal reasons and stuff (sorry, Lei) but I just needed to get something out of my system and I need to get it out of me NOW.

I'm beginning to wonder. Will I really be OK? Physically, mentally, emotionally. My mind can't seem to snap out of it...which means that there's really something going on with me that I can't seem to grasp. I don't think that my stress is merely a result of this heavy school load I have. There's something else. I'm sure of it.

Something is bothering me big time. I have this feeling that it has something to do with someone but is it really possible that it's affecting me that much? I really want to know.

I need some time off. I mean...other than my retreat, which by the way, I had last Tuesday. I need to go out...preferably all alone and just think. Maybe that would help me.

*Sigh* Oh well. Time to log off.

Ciao!

One Week Absent.

Wait!

Before you get all worked up with the title...let me clarify. I have not been absent in school for a week. Hell no! I wouldn't dare miss a day in school with all the majors I'm taking. No way!

"Hell Month" truly lived up to its name as the week started giving me tons of school work -- over 500 pages of handouts and pages to read for three subjects, about a dozen write-ups to prepare for three homeworks, and at least a ton of brain power to make everything work.

I actually missed blogging. A lot! Honestly, it's like there was something missing because all I do when I log in the net was research for my would-be thesis.

Oh yes. I'm already starting thesis. It's official. Since Friday, our professor in Methods of Research (MethRes), Sir Laufred, has chosen a thesis topic for us based on the list we submitted to him. My topics for thesis were...

1. ICT Outsourcing Between First and Third World Countries
2. The Role of Mass Media in Politics, particularly on how they project policies on the society
3. Cultural Diversity and Globalization

And the winner is...

Hehehe...I got the first topic, which is perfect because this is the topic that I really want to do as my thesis. I have always been interseted in this "phenomenon," so to speak. I've heard and read that this outsourcing is really good for the economy and it really is. What I will be studying here is...even though it strengthens the economy, how come job outsourcing is considered to be a politically divisive issue? My gosh! I really can't wait to do this.

* * *

Today is the most awaited Pacquiao-Morales III bout and well...what can I say? Pacman won...third round. Morales went down and he sure went down hard! Dad was right after all. He's been telling me that the fight won't go past three rounds and I have to say...when it comes to boxing, Dad knows. Hehehe...

I have been routing for Pacman to win, mainly because between the two boxers, Pacman is more consistent in his fights. I like Morales as well but he's just too cocky. I mean, he got beat with his last fight with Pacman and he kept making excuses that he's just worn out from losing the weight which is really a lame excuse.

Go Pacman!

* * *

Well, I guess it's time to start school work again. I still have a lot of things to do.

Ooh. By the way, I'm having my retreat on Tuesday so...there!

Ciao!

Sunday Blog.

(also known as Hell Months Commence.)

You probably have an idea as to why I was not able to post entries since Thursday. Oh yes, as early as Thursday, I have been bombarded with so many things to do for the coming weeks.

Our class schedule will be changed. Instead of having five days of classes, I will have four days. Whoopee...well, not exactly. Starting this week, my school days are Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday. Yup, I have a Saturday class yet again. My Tuesdays and Thursdays only have one class, Modern Political Philosophy with Mr. Bugaoan and to the class, that really is just a waste of time having only one class which takes up only one and a half hours of our time. Who would be enthusiastic to go to school if that's the only class you've got?! Whoever did the schedules is or are the ones to blame for this. Our class is not the only one who have a bad schedule. In fact, I've been hearing complaints from a lot of my friends from other courses about their schedules. *Sigh* What a bummer.

At the end of the week, I realized how stressful my second semester is going to be. All my subjects require research paper and I have Methods of Reseach now so that would mean, this is my preparation for my final thesis.

I can feel it. No more social life for me. I'd be lucky if I could get the chance to hang out with my best friend at least once month. Even though I don't have classes during Tuesday and Thursday, I'm sure I'm going to use those days for research since my Wednesday and Friday classes are until 6:00 in the evening. Tuesdays and Thursdays are my only free days to go to the library.

Of course, there's also the school paper. So help me, I just hope I could survive this semester. I guess it's pretty obvious why I call this "Hell Months," huh?

Anyway, I have to go now and eat breakfast.

I'll check in later...hopefully.

Nothing to Post. Blogthings Again.

What is Your Love Number?

Your Love Number is 2

Of all the numbers, you are the most caring and empathetic lover. Unselfish and humble, you find it easy to forgive your sweetie's mistakes. At times, your need to please can be come a bit too needy. As long as you remain somewhat independent, your relationships are perfectly balanced.

What Is Your Love Number?

Dating Purity Test

Your Dating Purity Score: 91%

You are an innocent dater. You're either lacking in dating experience or have had a long serious relationship. Either way, there's still plenty of fish in the sea out there for you to sample!

Dating Purity Test

Is Your Love Style Passionate or Compassionate?

You Are 59% Passionate, 41% Compassionate

You possess an ideal balance of passion and compassion. You definitely can get swept away and lose your head a little. But you're rarely a fool for love!

Is Your Love Style Passionate or Compassionate?

Are You More Cat or Dog?

You Are: 50% Dog, 50% Cat

You are a nice blend of cat and dog. You're playful but not too needy. And you're friendly but careful. And while you have your moody moments, you're too happy to stay upset for long.

Are You More Cat or Dog?

How Boyish or Girlish Are You?

You Are 30% Boyish and 70% Girlish

Even if you're not a girl, you're very feminine. You're in touch with your feelings, and your heart rules you. A bit of a emotional roller coaster, one moment you're up and the next you're down. But no matter what, you try to be as cute and perky as possible.

How Boyish or Girlish Are You?

How Macchiavellian Are You?

You Are The Opposite of Machiavellian

You don't have a cynical, power hungry bone in your body. Honest and kind, you believe being a good person is the most important thing. While your upstanding morals should be admired, be careful! You're at risk for being manipulated and toyed with.

How Machiavellian Are You?

What Flavor Margarita Are You?

You Are a Blueberry Margarita

Honestly, there's no one quite like you. And believe it or not, most people think that's a bad thing! You're open, wild, friendly, wacky, and tons of fun. You have a big personality... and a big heart.

What Flavor Margarita Are You?

Who Were You in High School?

Brainy Kid

In high school, you were acing AP classes or hanging out in the computer lab. You may have been a bit of a geek back then, but now you're a total success!

Who Were You In High School?

What a Day!

Ok. Today, it was supposed to be our first meeting in Modern Political Philosophy with Sir Bugaoan. I got to school around 7:00 in the morning, half an hour earlier than our designated time. I was there with a couple of my classmates. Considering the fact that we were only around 9 in the room, I already had this feeling that we're not exactly going to be complete in the class.

Around 7:45am, Sir Boogie (as we usually call him) was still nowhere to be found. Liane, our class representative, called him on his cellphone and asked whether or not he was in school and Sir Boogie confirmed that he was in school. Of course, we expected him to come barging in the room after 10-15 minutes because climbing 4 stairways of the M Building is very much exhausting.

We waited.
...and waited.
...and waited still.

It was already past 8:00 and Sir Boogie still didn't come in class. Liane was about to go get him but then, Tita Virgie, the room checker in M Building, came in class and told us that Sir Boogie just needs us to sign attendance and he could not come to class because he didn't have a class list.

What the--?! All the effort we exerted to go to school...for nothing?!? Grrr...that really ruined the day.

Actually, it was a good thing that the school paper held a general assembly later in the afternoon because if I had nothing else to do, I swear...I would be freaking out!

Hmmm...don't really have much to say about that one. Actually, there's a lot to say but you know. It's just a bunch of responsibilities that need taking care of. My gosh! I wish I could handle it. I'm really scared of being put into such position.

I'll fill you in this matter maybe tomorrow.

Right now, I'm going.

Ciao!

A Different Turn of Events.

From the time I woke up, I immediately planned that my entry for today will be a happy one because It is, after all, the first day of the second semester. But what I thought as a exciting day turned out to be a rather depressing one.

This morning, I was hanging out with my friends at B304. We were not able to meet our professor in Comparative Government today (which we learned in the afternoon that our professor there is Professor Yu). My friends and I were talking about our friends outside of St. Scho, the "Tag Team." I can't really explain how the "Tag Team" was established in our circle of friends. That's a whole new story. Anyway, we were telling to one another that soon enough, we'll be seeing the "Tag Team" once again and we were all really excited when that finally happens. Just then, Doray got a message from her friend, Harold. That was the time that everyone in our group felt as if everything just went black.

Roy Marasigan died 2:00 in the morning. Cause of his death -- dengue.

We were in shock! No one could believe it. We didn't really know how to react to such news. We thought it was a joke. But then again, who would joke like that?! Then Doray texted her other friends...and it was confirmed. Roy passed away.

My friends and I then decided that we go to his wake at Divine Mercy at Muntinlupa. Before going there, Tetel, Chatti and I were just saying how in disbelief we really were about the whole thing. How could this have happened?! No one in our circle even knew he was sick. We just could not accept the fact that he's gone! I even told them that I felt that even if I did see him in the casket, I wouldn't believe that he's indeed dead.

We (Tetel, Chatti, Doray, Tracy and I) left school around 3:00 in the afternoon and went to Park & Drive to meet up with Gian and from there, we all rode a bus and headed for the funeral home. On the bus, I can't say that I was my usual self. Thoughts of seeing Roy in the casket scared me to death because if I did, that would mean he's really gone -- forever. I don't really think I could actually accept that reality. I know we're not that close but the thing is...we had our good times and all those memories will be in my heart forever. I thought of how Roy's friends are, knowing that they just lost a friend. I thought of how his family is doing, considering that their family just went through a loss of a family member earlier this year. On the month of April, Roy's father died due to cancer. Now him. How much heartbreak could his family go through?

We got there about an hour and a half later. We were trying to ready ourselves for what we have to face in there. From the entrance we saw that it was actually real. It read that in the Diamond Room lies the body of "Roy Vincent Marasigan."

We walked up to the room and saw his family and his barkada. Then we saw the casket. No one really knew what to do next. We were all so scared to go up front and see his lifeless body lying on the open casket. After a few minutes of pondering, we all decided to go and see for ourselves that it was really him.

It was him. Yes. His body in the casket. But still, our minds rejected that Roy was definitely gone...for good...never to be seen again. We looked at the body and we felt that it wasn't him. I guess it's because it's been almost two years since we last saw each other and we couldn't recognize him as that guy lying on the casket. I already wanted to cry. Tears were already welling up in my eyes. All that's left was for the tears to fall. But I didn't cry. I held back the tears. I didn't really want to show any emotions there.

But Doray...she cried so hard. Before she even went to see Roy's body, she was telling us how scared she was because she just couldn't handle the reality that he is indeed gone. But she had to, right? She had to go there and see for herself.

Dick, one of Roy's barkada, told us that Roy has been sick since Tuesday last week. His fever just wouldn't go down 40 degrees. On Thursday, Roy was already taken to the hospital and he was in the ICU since then. It was only yesterday that Dick and the others found out that Roy was in the hospital because Roy's mother was looking for blood donors for him. Although they did found donor/s, it could be that his body just...shut down. Dick even told us that at 12 midnight, he and a couple of his friends were riding a car and they were having a bit of music playing, to cheer themselves up, I guess. All of a sudden, their car broke down...right in front of Divine Mercy Viewing Chapels.

Also, Dick told us this story that Roy's Friendster account has changed its background two weeks ago. According to Dick, in their circle of friends, their backgrounds in Friendster have always been black. Roy, on the other hand, changed it to pure white. In his profile, there was a poem there about love.

Roy's birthday was coming up. He was supposed to celebrate it on the 9th. Dick said that Roy's burial will be on his birthday.

It just broke my heart.

We left the funeral home around 6:00. No one knew how to begin the conversation but I guess it was only natural that it would start with, of course, Roy. From there, we tried to remember the times we had fun hanging out with Roy.

...and we all went our separate ways.

* * * * *

My heart still couldn't take the burden that it had faced this day. But I will be all right. Because knowing Roy, he didn't want any of his friends to be sad.

Roy,

I know you're in a better place. You hold a special place in my heart and I hope you know that. Even though we're not that close, you are one friend I will forever remember.

I'll miss you forever...

...to the Tag Team.

Oh Happy Day.

From 12 o'clock midnight until the time I will fall asleep, I have to say, this is really a fun day. I slept well today and...I have a funny feeling that I will sleep soundly tonight.

When midnight struck, i immediately texted my friend, Francis, to greet him a happy birthday. I was surprised to receive a reply from him. I have to say that it was really great texting him. I've forgotten how makulit he is when it comes to texting. Hehehe. My gosh! Could you imagine a 23-year-old guy calling me ate just because he felt like it. Harrrr. Who was he kidding? He told me he was only 18. Oh yeah. Right. Dream on, Mr. Francis Roble. Hahahaha! I have the last laugh.

I fell asleep around 2:00. Seven hours later, Daddy woke me up because we have a party to attend to. Ninang Linda celebrated her birthday by treating the Francisco family to Jade Garden. Oh my gosh! It's been years since we last ate there. Actually, Jade Garden moved to Peking Garden at Glorietta 2. After so many years, I was able to eat Peking Duck again. Mmm...savory. Yummy!

After the get-together, we all went our separate ways. The family went to Greenbelt to attend Holy Mass at Sto. Niño de Paz Chapel. I've missed that chapel. It's also been a long time since I heard mass there. When I was there, I just remembered how solemn it felt to be there. I loved celebrating mass there and I wish I could do it every week again. Hmm...maybe I will. Who knows. Ehehe...

Oooh...tomorrow I go back to school! Finally! Hahahaha! I have something to do. Already I'm filled with meetings and other stuff to do...which is actually fine by me. I'd rather be busy than be unproductive.

Oh yeah! I also bought myself new shoes. The school shoes I bought last summer were already worn out so...that has to go. Hahaha! Wow! I really like the shoes I bought. Hehehe...don't worry...I'll post a picture of it tomorrow in my blog...hahahaha!!!

Anyway, I think I better go to sleep. If you remember, my class starts 7:30 in the morning.

Good night!

Happy Birthday!

November 5th.
Sunday.
Birthday of three people I know.

One. Ninang Linda, who's become a Golden Girl today. Yes, she's fifty years old and she's celebrating her birthday with a bang. We're eating at Jade Garden today. Yahoo!

Two. Tito Ding, husband of Tita Estie and father of Ate Kriselle and Paolo. Not quite sure how old he is right now. I'm guessing he's 54? Hehehe. Nevertheless, it's his day also and we'll be seeing each other later.

Three. Francis Roble. Now, he's the guy I got acquainted with last year in a conference I attended in Tagaytay. He turns 23 today. Sometimes, he could be such a joker. He's older than me and yet he calls me "ate." Hmph! There's a reason why I actually call him "kuya" but he never listens.

Anyway, I can't stay much longer. I still have to prep up for Ninang's birthday celebration.

I'll fill you in on details later.

Good morning, world!

Ciao!

Sad.

Since last night, I'm really feeling kind of sad...depressed, even. A lot of people may find this very shallow but...I'm sad because my phone is busted. The thing that really irritates me is that I just had my phone fixed last week because the sounds were gone. Now, after a week, there's no signal.

I'm missing my phone. A lot. Right now, I'm using one of the extra mobile phones lying around here. I'm back to using Nokia 3310. Not that I have anything against the phone, it's just that...I really miss using my Sony Ericsson K500i. I mean, for two years I've had that phone and it's one of my most prized possessions because that is the most expensive thing that I bought with my hard-earned money.

Shallow, right?

Hey, don't get me wrong. I'm not the material girl type. There are just so many things that I stored in the phone that I need. Contact numbers, messages, pictures...the list goes on.

I was talking to one of my friends last night. My friend said that maybe it means that I'll be getting a new mobile. The thing is...I'm a hundred percent sure that's not going to happen because nobody's going to buy me a new phone. Since I turned 18, my last two phones, Nokia 3100 and SE K500i are from my own pocket money. No help from other people whatsoever. It's all me. That's the thing that I'm talking about. It's very hard to replace something with so much sentiment on it. This is the reason why I'm really bummed out with my phone being busted.

Anyway, it's late. I still have to wake up early tomorrow. November 5th. Three people are celebrating their birthdays tomorrow.

Ninang Linda.
Tito Ding.
Francis.

With a couple of minutes left before 12 midnight, I wish to greet you, "advance happy birthday!"

Lights out.

Two Days Left.

Saturday.
7:58 in the evening.
Anxious-excited.

I really want to go back to school. I can't wait to study again. Honestly! Call me weird or nuts or crazy or whatever you think is suitable -- but I just want to go back to my studies. I want to hit the books and read and ready myself for recitations and tests.

On Monday, I will have two subjects only. Both are three-hour classes. I'll probably be in school around 7:00 in the morning. My first class begins 7:30 and it's going to end 10:30. Comparative Government of Europe and America. It's an exciting subject, I can tell. I've always been fascinated by Europe and it's going to be such an adventure to discuss it in class. America, well, I'm not really a big fan of it but I'm up for it. Although, I am kind of scared of who my professor is going to be in this subject. I'm just hoping that it's not going to be -- well, for the ABPOL3, you know who I'm talking about. That professor is just so lame...I did not learn a thing from him. Regardless of the fact that he gives his students high grades, to learn something from a teacher is a different thing. So I hope and I pray that it's not going to be the same instructor. If I had to choose who my professor is going to be, I'm hoping it's Professor Yu. He's really my favorite professor. Yes, I know I'm not the one who gets the highest grades in his class but the thing is...he's really made an impact on me as my professor. He has challenged me to perform better each time we meet in class. I really hope he's going to be my professor there. But of course, I'm still open to other instructors...as long as it's not you-know-who. Harsh as I may sound, but hey, I'm just telling it as it is.

From 10:30 until 1:30 in the afternoon, I will be attending my next class. Cultural History of the Philippines with Mr. Lars Raymund Ubaldo. Cultural History is an elective subject in my course and there's nothing really to say except...I'm looking forward to studying it. As for the professor, I'm not sure what to say because it's the first time that he's going to be my professor. I just hope he's not the type who lets his class do all the work and he just discusses what's in th handout or the book. I hate that.

Well, since there's nothing left to say, I guess I better end this entry.

Evening is Here.

Surprisingly, I slept the whole afternoon. There was nothing to do, no one to talk to, and no food to eat. The bed was actually "calling" me to lie down on it and sleep. I guess I needed it. Getting only five hours of sleep this morning, I had it coming. I was still tired from all the late night tv shows and bloggings and other stuff. Sleep was good. Sleep was definitely good.

Good Morning, World!

Brand new day, brand new entry. The blogging is getting to be my habit. No big deal. Just stating the obvious. I like blogging now than I did before. When I started out in this blogging (care of Friendster Blogs), it was for the purpose of one thing: to let all my frustrations out on someone who didn't love me back. It would be no surprise that almost all my entries in my blog are all emotional and heartbroken. But now, I've had a revelation (hehe). Blogging for me is now a diary of not just one part of my life -- it's for everything.

Ever since I could remember, I have always had a journal. It was a routine for me that before I go to sleep, I would write on it and make the memory last forever. I know it sounds cliche but having a diary is very important to me. No, I don't intend to have a "Bridget Jones" moment. I just love having something to write on and just express all my emotions.

Of course, having a diary helped me with my writing skills. If you can remember, I wanted to become a writer first and I heard from a lot of people that having a diary is essential in a writer's life. I was that serious to becoming a writer. If you come with me to my home and look at "mini library," I have a lot of books about writing well. Hmm...sometimes, I can't help but wonder what would happen to me if I did pursue a course on journalism. Funny, I can't imagine myself taking up another course except political science. It's a good thing, right? That I'm sure that this is what I want. I have absolutely no regrets. I'm happy with my decision and I'm sticking to it.

My, my...technology. I was happy with a notebook to write on. Kind of like Harriet the Spy. But today, a simple notebook is not enough. Since the blogs have been created, it was as if these blogs turned into must-haves. But hey, I'm not complaining or anything. As a matter of fact, I'm very grateful to the creators of blogs. It's making my life a whole lot easier, getting me to type everything I need to put down.

Anyway, it's time to eat breakfast.

Going, going...

Gone.

Blogthings Before I Sleep.

The Animal Personality Test

Your Animal Personality

Your Power Animal: Deer Animal You Were in a Past Life: Panda You are a fun-seeker - an adventurous, risk-taker. While you are spontaneous, you are not very rational.

The Animal Personality Test

Wahahaha!!! DIdn't expect that one.


Your Love Life Secrets, Revealed

Your Love Life Secrets Are

Looking back on your life, you will have a few true loves. Although you may have been hurt before, you tend to bring very little scars into new relationships. You expect a lot from your lover - you want the full package. You tend to be very picky. In fights, you are able to walk away and calm down. You are able to weather the storm. Break-ups can be painful for you, but you never show it. You hold your head high.

Your Love Life Secrets, Revealed

Whoa! Really?

Are You a Drama Queen (or King)?

You Are As Cool As They Come

Rational and relaxed, no one could accuse you of being dramatic. You roll with the punches, and nothing ever gets you too worked up. You are able to maintain perspective and see the big picture. And even if you're emotional inside, you don't let it show. You're great at keeping it together, and you're rewarded for that. People see you as an ideal friend, employee, and partner.

Are You a Drama Queen (or King)?

Are You a Shopaholic?

You've Been Bit By the Shopping Bug!

You're constantly adding to your wardrobe - and it shows However, you can show some restraint. You love good deals. Your love of the clearance rack has paid off... You probably have only maxed out card or two, if at all!

Are You a Shopaholic?

What Sign Should You Date?

You Should Be With a Water Sign!

Your best match is a Cancer, Scorpio, or Pisces Why? You crave intimacy and connection in your relationship And while most guys can't open up enough for you, a Water Sign can Not that you're whole relationship will be soul gazing A Water Sign matches your goofy sense of humor - and desire to help others.

What Sign Should You Date?

What Kind of Chocolate Are You?

You are Milk Chocolate

A total dreamer, you spend most of your time with your head in the clouds. You often think of the future, and you are always working toward your ideal life. Also nostelgic, you rarely forget a meaningful moment... even those from long ago.

What Kind of Chocolate Are You?

Wow!!! Exactly!

What's Your Dream Engagement Ring?

Your Dream Engagement Ring Has an Oval Diamond!

An oval diamond is classic enough to reflect your femininity... While being unique enough to show off that individual style you've cultivated Your creative side will be delighted with the amount of twinkle your diamond showcases And your ring's unique design will go well with all that artistic jewelry you've collected!

What's Your Dream Engagement Ring?

Awww...I don't know what say. Hehehe...

9:30 PM - Blog!

In three days, I will be going back to school. Oh yes, it is the beginning of the second semester of my third year college life. How time really flies. It's as if just last semester, it was my first year in college, a whole new world for me, and I was adjusting to the life that awaits for me. Now, I have adapted to the college life, I have adapted to the life filled with studies, research, projects, term papers, presentations, and press work (thanks to The Scholastican). In my third year of college, I have to say that life is, well, ok.

I really am looking forward to going back to school. Not really because of the schedule or the subjects or the professors or my friends. I mean, sure, it's going to be nice to see them again. The thing is...I want to go back to school just so I'd be busy. I mean really busy. I want to keep myself preoccupied with activities and other things going on in school so that...I won't feel very unproductive and helpless. It's really something that I can't get over.

Since second year, all I wanted to do was to distract myself with school. I wanted to always keep myself busy so that I won't be tempted to think about my problems. Of course, the problems at home are inescapable. I also have problems in school. What I was actually talking about was...the problems of the heart. My emotions, my feelings. I never wanted to face my problems about love. It was such a heavy burden. It hurt me so much. The only escape I could think of was academics. It worked...at least, in the beginning. But after some time, just when I thought I was finally ok, turned out, I wasn't ready to let that "matters of the heart" go into my head again.

Am I scared? Yes, I am. It scares the hell out of me. I don't know. Maybe until now, I still can't let myself to really feel what I'm feeling. I guess that means...I'm still not over the hurt that I had before. Although I am moving on...just not ready to face another "love."

Right now, all I want to do is study and do my job as an editor. By doing those two jobs, I feel like I've accomplished a lot. I'm proud of what I've done and what I'm doing.

Hmm...I guess I'm not that accomplished just yet.

Second Semester.

I just got home from school after enrolling myself for the second semester. I look at my registration card and I really don't like my schedule. I don't mind my subjects. I like them. It's just that...I was hoping I'd get one day of no classes...like last semester. I had no Monday classes. This semester, my schedule really sucks.

Imagine...

Mondays, I have two 3-hour majors to attend to...with no break.
Tuesdays and Thursdays, I only have one subject, a major. What a waste of time!
Wednesdays and Fridays, I have three subjects -- two majors and one minor. My schedule is until 6:00 in the evening.

What's wrong with it?

I can't believe they would give us such a lousy schedule! I really hate it. But I can't do anything about it. Our class representative said she's going to try an come up with a new schedule. Oh...I hope she does.

I wonder how my second semester is going to be...

Posting Again.

There's really one person I have to thank for putting me up with the Blog fever. Cielo Alonzo...I owe you big time for letting me return to my habit. I actually missed blogging. Hehehe...

Today is November 3 and it is actually the birthday of my dear friend, Danica Gene Sta. Lucia! Ykai...compleaño feliz, mi amiga! Te quiero mucho!

It's nice to speak in Spanish once in a while. I mean, sure...there are only a couple of people to talk to...but that's the beauty of it. No one else could understand what you're talking about except you and the one you're talking to. I mean...right here of course. If you're speaking in Spanish in Spain or Mexico...well, that's a different story. Hahaha...hmm...I'm beginning to sound weird, aren't I?

Ok. Today, I'll be enrolling for the second semester. *Stomach grumbles* No, it's not because of hunger...although I am hungry...I'm kind of dreading the second semester. This will be the busiest semester I've ever had!!! I can feel it. No time for sleeping, no time for socializing, no time for relaxing...nada! All my time will be for (1) academics, (2) school publication, (3) researching, and (4) blogging. Hahaha!!! I promised myself to have an outlet for my stress...so apart from my organizer-slash-journal, I will be using my Blogspot and LiveJournal and Friendster Blog as my "shock absorber." So you can expect a lot of entries in the coming days, weeks, and months. Who knows? Maybe I will be able to squeeze in news of my life outside school...hehehe.

I see that my brother, Kuya Miguel is online. Sometimes, he's so oblivious to what day it is today. His status in his YM is "Friday na pala ngayon?" Hehehe...when he works, he has no idea what's going on around him. Hahaha! Nevertheless, I love that big brother of mine. Kuya Rom...well, he is, as always, busy busy busy. As soon as he gets home, he turns on his laptop and studies. My gosh! How much information can he load up in that brain of his? I wonder...

Hmm...I guess I better stop at this point. I'll be back later in the afternoon.

Ciao!

Speaking in Spanish so that No One will Understand.

Disclaimer: This was an old entry in my Friendster blog. Since I have nothing to write for now, I've decided to post this one instead...

¡Buenas noches, damas y caballeros! ¿Cómo hace usted? Yo esperanza segura que usted hace bien. Es una tarde encantadora y yo deseo tomar esta oportunidad de escribir en español tan yo puedo ser capaz de practicar utilizando el idioma correctamente.

Se siente muy agradable hablar en un idioma que no todos entienden. No todos yo sé, en lo menos. Puedo decir algo yo quiero y nadie sabrá lo que significó. Puedo decir algo yo he querido decir para bastante algún tiempo sin la persona reaccionar implicado a lo que dije. ¡Ah sí! ¡Se siente tan bueno!!!

Suficiente verdadero, hay algunas cosas significaron para ser para mi propio conocimiento. Las personas quieren saber que algunas cosas que yo no quiero decirlos. Yo les digo mis secretos... en el idioma extranjero.

¿Quiere realmente usted saber lo que tengo que decir?

Estoy seguro que usted hace.

¿Pero adivino, sería injusto decirle cosas usted necesita saber si hablo en español, el derecho?

Bueno, bien. Volveré a hablar en un idioma que usted puede comprender.

Así que adivino, terminaré este blog ahora.

Hasta entonces.

Done with Dinner. Now It's Time to Blog...Again.

Yup! I am done with dinner and I'm back to blog again. Wow! This is, what? My fourth entry for the day? This is nice. It feels good to do nothing but blog and blog and blog. Hehehe.

So...what can I post tonight?

Dearest,

Do you know how much in love with you I am? Did I trip? Did I stumble - lose my balance, graze my knee, graze my heart? I know I'm in love when I see you. I know when I long to see you, I'm on fire. Not a muscle has moved. Leaves hang unruffled by any breeze. The air is still. I have fallen in love without taking a step. You are all wrong for me and I know it, but I can no longer care for my thoughts unless they are thoughts of you. When I am close to you, I feel your hair brush my cheek when it does not. I look away from you sometimes, then I look back. When I tie my shoes, when I peel an orange, when I drive my car, when I lie down each night without you, I remain,

Yours

I was browsing through some quotes of movies when I stumbled upon this little text. This is the text of the letter in the 1999 Ellen DeGeneres starrer movie, "The Love Letter." No, I'm not a fan of the movie. It's just that this letter caught my attention. The love letter was something that really got to me. It was simple and yet it contains such strong emotions. How in love was this guy to the woman he's writing this letter to? If there was a guy out there who...hmm...maybe it's better if I stop at that. It might come off on as a misunderstanding to other people.

All I'm saying is that...this is not something that happens to someone everyday. To profess one's love through a love letter...that lasts forever. No one can take it away. It's proof!

It's nice to know that there are still some guys out there who make their true feelings known to the girls they like. Maybe a lot of people would call it cliche but who cares? The profession of love is not for the people who see them. It's for the girl. That's who it's for. That's all that matters.

Some thoughts...I'll be back if I have anything better to write. Hehehe...

Blogthings Galore!

Ok. Here I am again with a new entry. Actually, it's not really an entry because all I'm going to do is post the results of the Blogthings I have answered. This way, you'd get to know more about me. Hehehe. Have fun reading!

How Much Pride Do You Have?

Your Pride Quotient: 40%

You're a little prideful, but nothing out of the norm. Like everyone, you enjoy attention. But you're also good at sharing the spotlight!

How Much Pride Do You Have?

What Kind of Intelligence Do You Have?

Your Dominant Intelligence is Musical Intelligence

Every part of your life has a beat, and you're often tapping your fingers or toes. You enjoy sounds of all types, but you also find sound can distract you at the wrong time. You are probably a gifted musician of some sort - even if you haven't realized it. Also a music lover, you tend to appreciate artists of all kinds. You would make a great musician, disc jockey, singer, or composer.

What Kind of Intelligence Do You Have?

What Kind of Flirt Are You?

You Are a Natural Flirt

Believe it or not, you're a really effective flirt. And you're so good, you hardly notice that you're flirting. Your attitude and confidence make you a natural flirt. And the fact that you don't know it is just that more attractive!

What Kind of Flirt Are You?

How Powerful Are You?

Your Power Level is: 75%

You're a very powerful person, and you know that all of your power comes from within. Keep on doing what you're doing, and you'll reach your goals.

How Powerful Are You?

The Mind Wanders.

Funny. You think about the most interesting things you could ever come up with. I'm feeling contemplative today. Bear with me with my random thoughts, whether their sensible or not.

It's been six and half hours since I woke up this morning and there's nothing really going on. Here I am, in front of my computer and typing away my boredom in my blog. Thanks to the wonders of unlimited internet via myDSL, I get to spend all the time I want online. At least I get to blog whenever I want to without worrying about the time.

Last night, I was watching the fifth episode of One Tree Hill Season 4. Oh my gosh! I was freaking out because of Derek. For those of you who have no idea who I am talking about, Derek is this guy who appeared to be Peyton's long lost brother. At first, he was this OK dude who got along with the Tree Hill people. But of course, every show needs a twist to produce a conflict. It turns out that Derek is this psycho stalker of Peyton. He has thousands and thousands of pictures of Peyton, he religiously listens to her podcast and intently watches her on her webcam. He is a sick monster! Oh my--I cannot tell you how eerie I felt when I was watching that episode. I dare not tell you the whole story or else I might spoil it to those who have not yet seen this season's One Tree Hill. Hmm...I wonder, could there be someone out there who's constantly looking at my blogs in Friendster or in LiveJournal or in Blogspot? Freaky...that's what it feels.

Why is that every time I tell people that there's nothing going on with my love life, they don't believe me? Is it so hard to believe that there isn't anyone in my life who's making my heart skip a beat? Is it so hard to believe that there isn't any guy in town who's making me blush by the mere thought of him? Come on, people! Let's be serious here. Let me clear things out before my life goes haywire. I am not in any kind of relationship with any guy. All the guys I know are purely platonic! You know...friends! No love or like whatsoever...so stop putting thoughts in your head and get your facts straight. Besides, if I happen to like someone, you're sure to learn it from me. So be patient. Wait for it until I have told you what's up with my "love life," all right? Thank you.

Hehehe...I told you it's funny how the mind wanders from one thing to another. One second I'm thinking about one thing, the next, a new topic pops into my head. Ooohh...here's another topic that just popped: food.

I am craving for Japanese food. I want to eat lots of Japanese food. Ebi Tempura, California Maki, Tuna Sashimi -- I'm beginning to feel hungry again. Gosh! Am I a glutton or what? This is not a good thing, you know. To eat and eat and eat and eat. Tsk tsk tsk. Bad Margie.

*Sigh* I miss my best friend. I haven't seen her for days and I miss her a lot. It's not that I want to see her everyday...hello! I'm not that kind of a friend. I just miss talking to my best friend. I miss chatting with her, I miss going to her condo, I miss...I miss her.

Today is November 2nd. Thursday. What can I look forward to on a Thursday? Well, there's going to be Will & Grace and F.R.I.E.N.D.S. tonight, so I guess that's something. *Thinks* Hmm...other than that, there's really nothing. Oohh...WWE Smackdown later on. I have to watch that one. Hehe.

What? Surprised that I watch World Wrestling Entertainment? Well, you better believe it because I am a hardcore fan of WWE! Yes, I like watching wrestling. Why wouldn't I? It's fun to watch. Believe it or not, watching it is actually a stress reliever for me. It doesn't really matter to me if it's all real or not. I just like it. What's the big deal? Watching wrestling doesn't mean it's my lifestyle. Sometimes, people are just so shallow. So what if I watch? That doesn't really say anything about me except that I like watching it. So people, another thing to clear: I am a fan of wrestling. I have no intentions of becoming one, all right? If that's too hard to believe, tough! I will not give up watching wrestling to compromise with you.

Hmm....my entry's long enough for you to read. I'll get back to you when I have other things to write about.

Until then, ciao!

Morning Reflection.

I'd like to start off this blog by quoting Lucas Scott of One Tree Hill.

"There comes a time when every life goes off course. In this desperate moment you must choose your direction. Will you fight to stay on the path while others tell you who you are? Or will you label yourself? Will you be honored by your choice? Or will you embrace your new path? Each morning you choose to move forward or to simply give up."

I was having a One Tree Hill Season 4 marathon last night. For some reason, I've begun to like this show. In all fairness, I can relate to some part of it. So there. Hmm...I guess I have to thank Faye and Tetel for putting me up with the One Tree Hill fever. Hehehe.

When I was in high school, I only had one ambition: to be a writer. That was all I ever wanted. I could not imagine myself other than being a writer. I did everything I could so that I would be who I wanted to be. I felt I already knew how my life's going to turn out in the future. It was very clear to me. It made sense. I wanted to write and therefore, I believe I was destined to be a writer. I wrote poems, short stories, novellas...it was right there in front of me. I was to become a writer. Everyone thought so too. My family, my friends, my teachers, my schoolmates...everyone!

Until my senior year came. Somewhere along the way, I was introduced to a new concept by my teacher in Social Science and suddenly, all plans of becoming a writer came to a halt.

My teacher opened up a whole world to me. With all that's happening in the country, she made me want to put into perspective why everything is going the other way even if we're supposed to go a different direction. Yes, it was politics. Yes, she introduced me to political science. Since that time, I wanted to learn more about it.

Fast forward to the present.

I am now in my third year in college, taking up AB Political Science with specialization in International Relations. I am studying in St. Scholastica's College, by the way. I'm loving every minute of my college life. Sure, I've had a few bumps in the road and some minor accidents in my path...but in the end, I just couldn't imagine myself to be anywhere else but in this course. Anyway, I still get to do what I love to do: write.

Apart from being a student of political science, I am also an active member of the school publication. I am currently the Associate Editor of The Scholastican. I've been part of the school publication since my first year in college. I started out as a Feature writer, then became the Features Editor, and now, I am one of the senior editors. It's a lot of work but I am proud of what I have accomplished.

I guess, in a way, I didn't lose my path to becoming a writer. As you can see, I'm still writing. I guess my true calling was to be in this path. I have absolutely no regrets.

Here ends my entry for the morning. I hope you found my entry sensible.

Until my next entry...I bid you all, adieu!

Let's Talk About the "L" Word.

Usually, I don't really like talking about...well, love. Or at least, not about my love life. But in this case, I want to be open about my feelings towards a person I like. Maybe even about the past with regards to my "matters of the heart."

Hmm...let's see. I guess I should begin this blog with how I see love, huh? Yeah, maybe that would be a good idea.

You see, for me, when it comes to love, it's kind of hard to be sure whether or not what you're feeling towards someone is real. I guess it was all because of what I went through before that I find it hard to trust my heart if what it feels is really love or not.

My heart was broken before by someone I never thought was capable of hurting me. The thing that hurts the most was that we started out as friends. We were tight. We cared about each other and we gave the utmost respect to each other because we knew each other very, very well.

But--

What we thought to be a relationship that would last for a long time turned out to be a relationship that could not go the distance. Maybe it wasn't really meant to last that long. Maybe knowing that person was meant to just let me know that I was already in the stage of my life where I have to be wary. Love awaits. Love is just around the corner. Love...is just here.

So I live my life and meet new people. Yes, until now I am single and I have no regrets because I am loving every minute of my single life.

Let's talk about the "L" word again some other time.

Paper Trails Now Active!

Official blogging in Blogspot begins today, November 1st, 2006. This is my brand new blog and I intend to update this everyday starting now.

Today is All Saints' Day. My family and I are going to Manila Memorial Cemetery in Sucat, Parañaque to visit my Lolo Bait. I really miss him a lot. Even though we did not talk much, I know for sure that I let him feel how much he meant to me and how much I loved him.

I remember when he died just last year, August 10th. A lot of people told us, "You should be proud of your lolo" and "Your lolo was a hero." I am proud. Lolo was my hero. He still is.

Well, I guess this will have to do for my first entry. I'm about to go.

I'll log in again later...

Ciao!