There are a number of reasons why I have been out of the blogging biz for the past few weeks.
Reason # 1: Back to school means back to being busy again. Study habits are starting to kick in and there's not much time to actually log in my blog and type what happened on a certain day.
Reason # 2: I have temporarily substituted cooking as an outlet. Yes, I have been cooking, both supervised and unsupervised. Lately, there's just an opening for me to concoct something new (with the help of my dear Papi, of course).
Reason # 3: The household has been entertaining guests since last month and it would be just rude to brush them off just because I want to blog.
Reason # 4: When I get the chance to log in my blog, I have absolutely no idea what I'm going to blog about. And I want this entry to actually mean something. There's a good reason why, which I will reveal later.
Reason # 5: It is only now that I know what I'm going to publish in Paper Trails.
At one o'clock in the morning, I find myself unable to sleep. Mainly it's because I slept from 7:00 to 11:00 last night. I was too tired to do anything...so right after I ate, I went to my parent's room and feel asleep.
Now, I need to get serious. After much thought, I figured that right now is the best time to blog about this. I can't waste another moment of waiting for something just so I have something to tell to whoever is reading Paper Trails.
I have had just about enough. My ever-extending social limits have been passed. A dreadful plague has infected a horrifyingly large majority of my peers, and I have found myself unable to endure their behavior anylonger. It's almost as if a memo has been passed around, one which I did not receive. New hot topic, to be discussed at all possible opportunities: ME.
I have been "under the microscope" since third year college. Probably since I was a freshie. The difference between the two, however, is uncanny. During my first year, I was known as this political science student who flooded the school newspaper with her many feature articles. And that went on until my sophomore year. But things did not go as expected come my junior year because I suddenly found myself being questioned by a lot of people about...a certain guy.
A natural listener, I geniunely enjoy hearing other people's stories, even when they tend to slope off on various far-reaching tangents. Nevertheless, there comes a point when even the most patient ca no longer tolerate the unfathomable heights to which this self-absorption has risen. Some of my oldest and deepest friendships have morphed into relationships in which I can recite what my dear friend had for lunch every day last week, white she remains clueless about my current state of affairs. This is no fault of my own, I assure you. I am more than happy to share all my wonderful news. The interest with which it is received, however, leaves a lot to be desired.
At some point, I can only say one thing: I cannot take all the hounding and the interests and the excitement of the people around me when it comes to a certain aspect of my life. For those of you who know...yes, it is about the "love life." For those of you who thought that part of my life already exists, the answer is no. I have not now nor have I been in an exclusive relationship with anyone for a long time. Truth of the matter is...I am not planning on having one anytime soon. So...quit forcing me to tell you that I already have a love life because as of now, it's been NON-EXISTENT, as it has been for the past couple of years!
I had to wonder why these people, a.k.a. my friends, are so interested and so excited about me having a boyfriend. I figured it was because: (a) almost everyone of my friends have boyfriends; (b) they think it was highly unlikely that a 21-year-old is still single; and (c) what I always hear from my friends, "we just want you to be happy."
What makes them think I'm not happy? Just because I have no boyfriend, does it mean I'm not happy? Do I look like I'm desperate for a boyfriend? Please...I have a lot of things going for me right now and to have a boyfriend at this time is simply out of the question. I know that it isn't time yet. I haven't met a guy who I can say, "he's the one."
But I guess I have to look at it from the way my friends see it. I have this guy friend I'm very close with (not only with him but his family as well). From time to time, I am able to hang out with them as a family and sometimes I invite the siblings for a snack once in a while (my treat, of course), I know all their birthdays, and I always make time for them. If I was an outside observer, I guess I would think that there's something going on. But the fact of the matter is...there's really none.
*Sigh* No matter what I say, I know that people are going to think otherwise. They're still going to force me to tell them that there's actually SOMETHING between me and my friend. Even though the closest thing I can call that something is friendship...they're going to argue that what we actually have is MORE than friendship. Right now, my friends are even more convinced that my friend and I are more than just friends because I just turned down a guy who likes me and I turned down (yet again) another guy who keeps asking me out on a date.
How can I convince people that we are JUST friends?! Argh! Here's a fact: I AM NOT ENTERTAINING ANY SUITORS AS OF THE MOMENT. Absolutely not! I am happy with my single life, thank you very much and I don't feel that I need to be with a guy right now to make me happy because I AM HAPPY.
Here's another truth...just to make things clear. I have been asked by one of my friends, "Don't you see yourself with him in the future?"
Honestly, no...or at least, not yet. The reason is simple. He's not doing anything to make me think that he could be more than my friend. I know the kind of guy he is, if he likes the girl, he'd tell her. He won't just drop hints here and there. He would absolutely tell her straight. And since that did not or has not happened to me, I will not assume anything.
Do I want to be with him? Here's the real deal. If I could choose a guy right now to be with for the rest of my life, he's probably the guy I'd choose. I have this list that I wrote two years ago...and I tucked it in the Bible. The list contains 10 characteristics of the guy I want to be with. That list was meant to be like a prayer. It's meant to ask God to give me someone I can share my life with...with the perfect partner for me. Even if the guy has 9 out of 10, he's still not THE ONE. If you must know, he has 7 out of 10 characteristics. But I am not closing my doors for him. Who knows, right? Maybe in the future, I'll see that he has all 10...but until that day comes...I remain single.
So there you have it. My latest entry.
Oh yeah...the reason why I wanted this entry to mean something is because...this is my 200th blog entry. Yey for me!
Anyway, it's time to go to sleep.
G'night, everyone!
Reason # 1: Back to school means back to being busy again. Study habits are starting to kick in and there's not much time to actually log in my blog and type what happened on a certain day.
Reason # 2: I have temporarily substituted cooking as an outlet. Yes, I have been cooking, both supervised and unsupervised. Lately, there's just an opening for me to concoct something new (with the help of my dear Papi, of course).
Reason # 3: The household has been entertaining guests since last month and it would be just rude to brush them off just because I want to blog.
Reason # 4: When I get the chance to log in my blog, I have absolutely no idea what I'm going to blog about. And I want this entry to actually mean something. There's a good reason why, which I will reveal later.
Reason # 5: It is only now that I know what I'm going to publish in Paper Trails.
At one o'clock in the morning, I find myself unable to sleep. Mainly it's because I slept from 7:00 to 11:00 last night. I was too tired to do anything...so right after I ate, I went to my parent's room and feel asleep.
Now, I need to get serious. After much thought, I figured that right now is the best time to blog about this. I can't waste another moment of waiting for something just so I have something to tell to whoever is reading Paper Trails.
* * *
I have had just about enough. My ever-extending social limits have been passed. A dreadful plague has infected a horrifyingly large majority of my peers, and I have found myself unable to endure their behavior anylonger. It's almost as if a memo has been passed around, one which I did not receive. New hot topic, to be discussed at all possible opportunities: ME.
I have been "under the microscope" since third year college. Probably since I was a freshie. The difference between the two, however, is uncanny. During my first year, I was known as this political science student who flooded the school newspaper with her many feature articles. And that went on until my sophomore year. But things did not go as expected come my junior year because I suddenly found myself being questioned by a lot of people about...a certain guy.
A natural listener, I geniunely enjoy hearing other people's stories, even when they tend to slope off on various far-reaching tangents. Nevertheless, there comes a point when even the most patient ca no longer tolerate the unfathomable heights to which this self-absorption has risen. Some of my oldest and deepest friendships have morphed into relationships in which I can recite what my dear friend had for lunch every day last week, white she remains clueless about my current state of affairs. This is no fault of my own, I assure you. I am more than happy to share all my wonderful news. The interest with which it is received, however, leaves a lot to be desired.
At some point, I can only say one thing: I cannot take all the hounding and the interests and the excitement of the people around me when it comes to a certain aspect of my life. For those of you who know...yes, it is about the "love life." For those of you who thought that part of my life already exists, the answer is no. I have not now nor have I been in an exclusive relationship with anyone for a long time. Truth of the matter is...I am not planning on having one anytime soon. So...quit forcing me to tell you that I already have a love life because as of now, it's been NON-EXISTENT, as it has been for the past couple of years!
I had to wonder why these people, a.k.a. my friends, are so interested and so excited about me having a boyfriend. I figured it was because: (a) almost everyone of my friends have boyfriends; (b) they think it was highly unlikely that a 21-year-old is still single; and (c) what I always hear from my friends, "we just want you to be happy."
What makes them think I'm not happy? Just because I have no boyfriend, does it mean I'm not happy? Do I look like I'm desperate for a boyfriend? Please...I have a lot of things going for me right now and to have a boyfriend at this time is simply out of the question. I know that it isn't time yet. I haven't met a guy who I can say, "he's the one."
But I guess I have to look at it from the way my friends see it. I have this guy friend I'm very close with (not only with him but his family as well). From time to time, I am able to hang out with them as a family and sometimes I invite the siblings for a snack once in a while (my treat, of course), I know all their birthdays, and I always make time for them. If I was an outside observer, I guess I would think that there's something going on. But the fact of the matter is...there's really none.
*Sigh* No matter what I say, I know that people are going to think otherwise. They're still going to force me to tell them that there's actually SOMETHING between me and my friend. Even though the closest thing I can call that something is friendship...they're going to argue that what we actually have is MORE than friendship. Right now, my friends are even more convinced that my friend and I are more than just friends because I just turned down a guy who likes me and I turned down (yet again) another guy who keeps asking me out on a date.
How can I convince people that we are JUST friends?! Argh! Here's a fact: I AM NOT ENTERTAINING ANY SUITORS AS OF THE MOMENT. Absolutely not! I am happy with my single life, thank you very much and I don't feel that I need to be with a guy right now to make me happy because I AM HAPPY.
Here's another truth...just to make things clear. I have been asked by one of my friends, "Don't you see yourself with him in the future?"
Honestly, no...or at least, not yet. The reason is simple. He's not doing anything to make me think that he could be more than my friend. I know the kind of guy he is, if he likes the girl, he'd tell her. He won't just drop hints here and there. He would absolutely tell her straight. And since that did not or has not happened to me, I will not assume anything.
Do I want to be with him? Here's the real deal. If I could choose a guy right now to be with for the rest of my life, he's probably the guy I'd choose. I have this list that I wrote two years ago...and I tucked it in the Bible. The list contains 10 characteristics of the guy I want to be with. That list was meant to be like a prayer. It's meant to ask God to give me someone I can share my life with...with the perfect partner for me. Even if the guy has 9 out of 10, he's still not THE ONE. If you must know, he has 7 out of 10 characteristics. But I am not closing my doors for him. Who knows, right? Maybe in the future, I'll see that he has all 10...but until that day comes...I remain single.
So there you have it. My latest entry.
Oh yeah...the reason why I wanted this entry to mean something is because...this is my 200th blog entry. Yey for me!
Anyway, it's time to go to sleep.
G'night, everyone!
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