It seems that no matter what I do, no matter how much I try...I tend to wake up so early in the morning, nothing can get me back to sleep. That is, until the time I turn on my computer, log in my blog and publish a new entry. Oh what a way to make myself sleepy again.
For the last two days, I was...how would I put it...unusually happy. Recently, people have been saying that this year has been the happiest they've seen me ever since. I, on the other hand, didn't see it like that. I actually had to stop and think why...and I realized it was because of one special person. Still, this surge of emotions is not a result of being in love. I think that at this age, I'd know that I'm in love. I'm just not there yet.
Do I want to be at that point where I can say I am in love with someone right now? Truth is, no. I'm just not ready. I have too many things going for me that I'm afraid if I go into a relationship, everything is going to suffer. *Sigh* I distinctly remember last week when my friend, Jane, asked me why is it taking me too long to admit my feelings. I answered her directly, "Because there is nothing to admit." There just isn't anything there to admit. Even if there is, why should I be the first one to say it? I'm not that kind of girl. As much as I wanted to satisfy Jane's "appetite for the truth," I simply can't.
Three days ago, I had a talk with my friend's mom. Oh my gosh...I tell you, when we were done talking, I was feeling so happy, every negative feeling I had that day was gone. We didn't really talk very long but...it was one of those conversations that sticks with you until who knows when. She told me how much she misses me and how she would want to see me again soon. She'd like it very much if I visited her house again when I am free. I told her that the next time (hopefully soon) I visit, I would teach them how to make leche flan.
It's not a big secret that Tita said something a few months ago that rattled my nerves. Sometimes, when I think about it, I would still get goosebumps. If only I can make Tita's comment come true. But the fact of the matter is...it has to be done from their side, not mine. Haha! Enough said.
Days, months, years passed...I have loved their family more and more. I have become so attached to their family, I have to say, it will be very hard not to even think about them.
Yesterday, I was able to talk to him...finally, after such a long time, we had our conversation. I missed talking to him about the "simple things." Whenever we talk, it wasn't really about we really wanted to talk about...it was about things that happened that didn't really affect us directly. So...I'm happy to have had that talk with him yesterday.
We're going to see each other in a couple of days. I can hardly wait for that. It's really not a big deal but...well, all right, in a way, it is a big deal for me. Like I said before, I just missed him...very much...that seeing him by then would probably make me very, very, very happy for a long time. I'll see him before I go on my retreat, which is a good thing. Hehehe...
For the last two days, I was...how would I put it...unusually happy. Recently, people have been saying that this year has been the happiest they've seen me ever since. I, on the other hand, didn't see it like that. I actually had to stop and think why...and I realized it was because of one special person. Still, this surge of emotions is not a result of being in love. I think that at this age, I'd know that I'm in love. I'm just not there yet.
Do I want to be at that point where I can say I am in love with someone right now? Truth is, no. I'm just not ready. I have too many things going for me that I'm afraid if I go into a relationship, everything is going to suffer. *Sigh* I distinctly remember last week when my friend, Jane, asked me why is it taking me too long to admit my feelings. I answered her directly, "Because there is nothing to admit." There just isn't anything there to admit. Even if there is, why should I be the first one to say it? I'm not that kind of girl. As much as I wanted to satisfy Jane's "appetite for the truth," I simply can't.
* * *
Three days ago, I had a talk with my friend's mom. Oh my gosh...I tell you, when we were done talking, I was feeling so happy, every negative feeling I had that day was gone. We didn't really talk very long but...it was one of those conversations that sticks with you until who knows when. She told me how much she misses me and how she would want to see me again soon. She'd like it very much if I visited her house again when I am free. I told her that the next time (hopefully soon) I visit, I would teach them how to make leche flan.
It's not a big secret that Tita said something a few months ago that rattled my nerves. Sometimes, when I think about it, I would still get goosebumps. If only I can make Tita's comment come true. But the fact of the matter is...it has to be done from their side, not mine. Haha! Enough said.
Days, months, years passed...I have loved their family more and more. I have become so attached to their family, I have to say, it will be very hard not to even think about them.
* * *
Yesterday, I was able to talk to him...finally, after such a long time, we had our conversation. I missed talking to him about the "simple things." Whenever we talk, it wasn't really about we really wanted to talk about...it was about things that happened that didn't really affect us directly. So...I'm happy to have had that talk with him yesterday.
We're going to see each other in a couple of days. I can hardly wait for that. It's really not a big deal but...well, all right, in a way, it is a big deal for me. Like I said before, I just missed him...very much...that seeing him by then would probably make me very, very, very happy for a long time. I'll see him before I go on my retreat, which is a good thing. Hehehe...
* * *
There you have it. My blog for the day. At least, my entry for now. Fret not, dear readers, this is not the end of it.
I finally hear the calls of my bed, luring me to go back and lie down. Sleep is waiting for me. My eyes are seconds away from finally closing.
I'd like to say good night but...look at the time.
Good morning, everyone!
There you have it. My blog for the day. At least, my entry for now. Fret not, dear readers, this is not the end of it.
I finally hear the calls of my bed, luring me to go back and lie down. Sleep is waiting for me. My eyes are seconds away from finally closing.
I'd like to say good night but...look at the time.
Good morning, everyone!
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