Saturday, May 26, 2007

Seriously.

As years pass by, some things in life have become more complicated than I would have expected them to be. It's funny when people tell you to just go with the flow. Yeah sure...go with it, wherever it may lead you. But we don't know for sure that if we simply go with it, things might lead to something much more...difficult. They might lead to something much more complex. That's how things are right now with me.

When I was 4 years old, I said I wanted to become a doctor and save lives. I could have...if I didn't find out that I am freaking scared of blood. I wouldn't last one minute in an operating room. Haha! In fifth grade, I wanted to be a teacher. But when I got to high school, I realized I didn't want to be the person standing in front of students who asks the most difficult questions and end up not being able to give them the answer they were looking for.

Then I said I wanted to sing. Well, let's just say that didn't last long because I found myself slowly losing interest in making music as my career. Sure, I love music and I love to sing but the truth of the matter is...I don't see myself making a career out of my singing. After all that, it hit me. Second year high school. I knew what I wanted.

A lot of people think that I don't have a problem living with my life at this point. To them, I seem like the type who's sure of what is to come my way. That's a lot coming from them. Most of my friends see me as the one who's almost there, reaching my goal. Well, I wouldn't put it that way. Sure, they got it right when they say I'm in the right track. But I wouldn't exactly say that I'm almost there. I still have a long, long, long, LONG way to go before I reach my goal. I know that after I graduate, I won't be getting the job of my dreams immediately. So...I don't think it's quite right to say I'm there.

Yes, I am a PolSci student. When people hear that I take up political science, they always ask me if I plan to take law afterwards. I would instantly shake my head in disagreement because becoming a lawyer is not even close to what I want for my life to become. My parents, especially my mom, wish that one of her children would be lawyers and I think she was banking on me, for the reason that I was always watching shows with courtroom trials and anything that has something to do with lawyers. I thought I'd be a lawyer, too. But I got to realize something right before I got to college. That realization was...I want to write. I want writing to become my career, my life.

So why am I studying political science? Because I realized that in order for me to write what I want to write, I have to learn how to write substantively. And in order for me to write something that makes sense, I have to learn how to think both analytically and critically. That is why I wanted this course. Not that I am bashing print journalism or communication arts or mass communication. I totally respect these courses. However, I feel that when you believe that you're meant to become a writer, then that would just mean, you are a writer. The technicalities of writing, I have the basic knowledge about it. Judging my capabilities, I realized then that I needed to develop the way I think and the way I see things that happen around me in order for me to write about it. True enough, it worked. My perspective about society definitely turned a full 360°. I owe it to this course, to the subjects I am taking, to my professors.

I was talking to a friend of mine about two weeks ago. When she asked me what I wanted to do after college, I told her that I wanted to write. It was funny because her reaction was, and I quote, "Magra-writer ka din? Talaga? Overqualified ka na dun!" (note: yeah, you know who you are). But I know it's my "calling" to be a writer. So I forget about other people's comments of not pursuing it. This is what I want. In time, I know I'm going to get what I want.

Stay tuned for more entries. Haha!

Ciao!


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