Paper Trails

Thank You, 2007! Hello, 2008!

2008-01-01T02:10:00.000+08:00

A whole month has passed since I last posted an entry and as you may have already suspected, I have been busy with so many things. From studying lessons to writing thesis to editing articles to shopping for Christmas gifts, I have been swamped from morning till night. Finally, on the very first day of the new year, I have the time to publish a brand new post.

For the year passed.
2007 certainly gave me a lot of things to remember. From starting the year in a very unusual way to ending it in a very traditional way. Hehehe. The year certainly brought out the best in me. There's just so much to be thankful for...even though I cried a lot, I cannot let the sad memories bring me down.

Too many memories to enumerate...but I'll still try to let you in on the things I'm very grateful for the year 2007:

Being Editor-in-Chief of The Scholastican
Finally doing a thesis I really like
All the sleepless nights that made the end product worth it
OJT in Department of Foreign Affairs
My baby DELL laptop
New bags, new clothes, new shoes, new accessories
Birthday celebration with family and friends
Bonding sessions with the Silan family (Tito Oliver, Tita Belen, Jan, Jalila and Adrian)
Pasalubongs from London (thanks to Kuya Rom)
My addiction to NUMB3RS
Food, food, food
Cutie-cute-cute baby Karl (from 1I)
Starbucks!
Skype
An unusual social life (you know what I mean)
Gifts, gifts, gifts and more gifts
Numerous ampaos from the Francisco family
Going to Elliott Yamin's mall tour
Gaining 10 lbs during the semestral break (it's true, it's true!)
Completing the Simbang Gabi
Arroz Valenciana

For the coming year.
It's too soon to tell what can happen this year, but I expect great things to come. Hahaha! I received a bunch of personal wishes from some of my friends (their names need not to be mentioned). Here's what they are hoping for me for 2008:

A love life
A "formal" boyfriend
A treat from Yellow Cab (c/o yours truly)
A getaway trip to Boracay or Puerto Galera

All good wishes...but that's going to take some time before they come true...especially the first two. Hahaha!

o O o

With that being said, I end this post with...

glitter-graphics.com

The 21-Year-Old Thinks About...

2007-11-21T09:39:00.000+08:00

I'm not used to getting compliments. Not at all. It's probably because...I never really received any when I was in high school. Sure, sure...I get them from family and relatives and from close friends. But I have never received compliments from guys. I remember feeling I'm not that beautiful because whenever I'm out with my friends, I feel like I am invisible because my friends are really attractive. If guys would come up to me, it was because of one thing: to ask for my friend's number.

So, yeah. There was an insecurity back then. Now...things have changed.

When I got to college, I was able to socialize with a lot of people, guys in particular, all thanks to the conferences, forums and symposiums I attended. During my first and second years, I've had my share of crushes. I've had my share of flirtations. But was there anything serious? Let me put it this way: I fell in love once and I got hurt twice. That's all you need to know.

And then came my third year. Things changed...a little bit. I even entertained a suitor that time. But as you may have noticed, it didn't actually work out. I called it off, realizing that I didn't want to be in a relationship right now. We remained friends. At that time, I decided to just finish college without attaching myself to anyone. It's not that I'm missing out on the "joys of having a boyfriend," as my friends would put it. Frankly speaking, I still want to enjoy my single life.

That is true until this very day. As most of you may know, I am being "linked" to this friend of mine. No matter what I say or do about what my friend and I really have, people would just think otherwise. So, I thought it would be better to just keep my mouth shut. Come what may, as the lyrics of the famous song goes. Everything will be revealed in due time.

Right now, my friends are still trying to set me up with guys they think would be a "perfect partner" for me. Besides being set up, I've met random guys in my usual hangout. As of Sunday, there are 4 guys who came up to me and introduced himself, in the hopes that they would get my name and my number. Sorry to say, 3 of them failed. As snobbish as I can be, I turned them down. The one guy that got away...well...he knows my friends...and maybe that's why I felt comfortable giving my number. But...nothing's happening. I'm dodging bullets whenever he would imply anything about courtship.

Another guy was actually straight to the point of asking if it's all right to court me. That threw me off guard because the guy who asked me was someone I met just last week. The nerve, right?! Tsk tsk.

Here I am, a 21-year-old single college student. Some would probably like the feeling that they are being noticed by guys here and there. I, on the other hand, would like to get rid of them. Haha! The ironies of life. I talkied to my friend about this...about not entertaining any guys. She simply said...as long as I am enjoying my life, I don't need to "play in the hay." True, true.

I have to go now. I still have lots of things to do.

Bye for now...

Christmas 2007 Wish List.

2007-11-19T01:17:00.000+08:00

It's that time of the year when I get to stop for a while, sit down, and just think. No, it's not the very serious contemplation about life. For people who are oblivious of the coming season, let me remind you that there are only 36 days left before Christmas Day. This means...I get to list down stuff I'd like to have for Christmas. Hehehe...

Here we go. Like I said last year, in no particular order, I would like to have any of the following...

1. Books
1.1. The Thorn Birds by Colleen McCollough
1.2. Chronicle of a Death Foretold by Gabriel Garcia Marquez
1.3. The Choice by Nicholas Sparks

2. Accessories
2.1. Bracelet
2.2. Necklace
2.3. Earrings

3. Starbucks tumbler

4. Clothes - any tops or pants or skirts from
4.1. Supre
4.2. Whoops

5. Shoulder bags and/or handbags

6. DVD complete series of The Nanny

7. Any Bossa Nova albums

Of course, I can't forget to mention those hard-to-get Christmas gifts...

1. Sony Ericsson Z610i or Z750a
2. Sony Cyber-shot T200
3. Creative Zen (4GB) or Zen V Plus (2GB)

There you have it...my Christmas wish list for this year!

Gotta go now! Ciao!

Brand New Entry.

2007-11-17T02:14:00.000+08:00

There are a number of reasons why I have been out of the blogging biz for the past few weeks.

Reason # 1: Back to school means back to being busy again. Study habits are starting to kick in and there's not much time to actually log in my blog and type what happened on a certain day.

Reason # 2: I have temporarily substituted cooking as an outlet. Yes, I have been cooking, both supervised and unsupervised. Lately, there's just an opening for me to concoct something new (with the help of my dear Papi, of course).

Reason # 3: The household has been entertaining guests since last month and it would be just rude to brush them off just because I want to blog.

Reason # 4: When I get the chance to log in my blog, I have absolutely no idea what I'm going to blog about. And I want this entry to actually mean something. There's a good reason why, which I will reveal later.

Reason # 5: It is only now that I know what I'm going to publish in Paper Trails.

At one o'clock in the morning, I find myself unable to sleep. Mainly it's because I slept from 7:00 to 11:00 last night. I was too tired to do anything...so right after I ate, I went to my parent's room and feel asleep.

Now, I need to get serious. After much thought, I figured that right now is the best time to blog about this. I can't waste another moment of waiting for something just so I have something to tell to whoever is reading Paper Trails.

* * *

I have had just about enough. My ever-extending social limits have been passed. A dreadful plague has infected a horrifyingly large majority of my peers, and I have found myself unable to endure their behavior anylonger. It's almost as if a memo has been passed around, one which I did not receive. New hot topic, to be discussed at all possible opportunities: ME.

I have been "under the microscope" since third year college. Probably since I was a freshie. The difference between the two, however, is uncanny. During my first year, I was known as this political science student who flooded the school newspaper with her many feature articles. And that went on until my sophomore year. But things did not go as expected come my junior year because I suddenly found myself being questioned by a lot of people about...a certain guy.

A natural listener, I geniunely enjoy hearing other people's stories, even when they tend to slope off on various far-reaching tangents. Nevertheless, there comes a point when even the most patient ca no longer tolerate the unfathomable heights to which this self-absorption has risen. Some of my oldest and deepest friendships have morphed into relationships in which I can recite what my dear friend had for lunch every day last week, white she remains clueless about my current state of affairs. This is no fault of my own, I assure you. I am more than happy to share all my wonderful news. The interest with which it is received, however, leaves a lot to be desired.

At some point, I can only say one thing: I cannot take all the hounding and the interests and the excitement of the people around me when it comes to a certain aspect of my life. For those of you who know...yes, it is about the "love life." For those of you who thought that part of my life already exists, the answer is no. I have not now nor have I been in an exclusive relationship with anyone for a long time. Truth of the matter is...I am not planning on having one anytime soon. So...quit forcing me to tell you that I already have a love life because as of now, it's been NON-EXISTENT, as it has been for the past couple of years!

I had to wonder why these people, a.k.a. my friends, are so interested and so excited about me having a boyfriend. I figured it was because: (a) almost everyone of my friends have boyfriends; (b) they think it was highly unlikely that a 21-year-old is still single; and (c) what I always hear from my friends, "we just want you to be happy."

What makes them think I'm not happy? Just because I have no boyfriend, does it mean I'm not happy? Do I look like I'm desperate for a boyfriend? Please...I have a lot of things going for me right now and to have a boyfriend at this time is simply out of the question. I know that it isn't time yet. I haven't met a guy who I can say, "he's the one."

But I guess I have to look at it from the way my friends see it. I have this guy friend I'm very close with (not only with him but his family as well). From time to time, I am able to hang out with them as a family and sometimes I invite the siblings for a snack once in a while (my treat, of course), I know all their birthdays, and I always make time for them. If I was an outside observer, I guess I would think that there's something going on. But the fact of the matter is...there's really none.

*Sigh* No matter what I say, I know that people are going to think otherwise. They're still going to force me to tell them that there's actually SOMETHING between me and my friend. Even though the closest thing I can call that something is friendship...they're going to argue that what we actually have is MORE than friendship. Right now, my friends are even more convinced that my friend and I are more than just friends because I just turned down a guy who likes me and I turned down (yet again) another guy who keeps asking me out on a date.

How can I convince people that we are JUST friends?! Argh! Here's a fact: I AM NOT ENTERTAINING ANY SUITORS AS OF THE MOMENT. Absolutely not! I am happy with my single life, thank you very much and I don't feel that I need to be with a guy right now to make me happy because I AM HAPPY.

Here's another truth...just to make things clear. I have been asked by one of my friends, "Don't you see yourself with him in the future?"

Honestly, no...or at least, not yet. The reason is simple. He's not doing anything to make me think that he could be more than my friend. I know the kind of guy he is, if he likes the girl, he'd tell her. He won't just drop hints here and there. He would absolutely tell her straight. And since that did not or has not happened to me, I will not assume anything.

Do I want to be with him? Here's the real deal. If I could choose a guy right now to be with for the rest of my life, he's probably the guy I'd choose. I have this list that I wrote two years ago...and I tucked it in the Bible. The list contains 10 characteristics of the guy I want to be with. That list was meant to be like a prayer. It's meant to ask God to give me someone I can share my life with...with the perfect partner for me. Even if the guy has 9 out of 10, he's still not THE ONE. If you must know, he has 7 out of 10 characteristics. But I am not closing my doors for him. Who knows, right? Maybe in the future, I'll see that he has all 10...but until that day comes...I remain single.

So there you have it. My latest entry.

Oh yeah...the reason why I wanted this entry to mean something is because...this is my 200th blog entry. Yey for me!

Anyway, it's time to go to sleep.

G'night, everyone!

My Last Schedule.

2007-11-01T20:44:00.000+08:00

The title says it all.

This is my very last schedule and after this...it's "Goodbye, College!"

I am left with three subjects. Just three subjects. Well, three subjects plus the thesis and oral defense...and the written comprehensives. Whew!

Check it out. This is the last time I'm posting class schedules. Hahaha!

The Colors of Love Test.

2007-11-01T19:00:00.000+08:00

I took a certain test in Tickle a few minutes ago. Surprisingly, this is the result.

o O o

Margie, when you reveal your true colors in love, you're a

If you had a love theme song it might just be, "Let's Stay Together." That's because it's usually important for your sense of security to be part of a stable, committed relationship. You tend to believe that a true partnership means one that's for life — the kind of eternal love you seek. There's a certain sense of traditionalism in your view of romance. You look for old-fashioned values like honesty, trust, and devotion. You may even believe that the most harmonious partnerships happen when the man is the breadwinner. Your greatest relationship vulnerability appears to be a tendency to fear that your partner will leave you. Try to calm those worries as you set out to look for the kind of romance you've dreamt about. Have faith that your very own committed partner is out there.

When you're not thinking about love, you're probably thinking about more worldly things. Types like you tend to feel that money makes the world go round. As a result, you do what you can to maximize your wealth. But beyond life's financial rewards, success in itself can be important to you. As a result, you work harder than many do to make sure you achieve it. Perhaps that's because you like being the best at what you do. You may also appreciate the accolades that come with a job well done. Status symbols and your appearance can be other strong focuses for your type. You seem to enjoy being admired for your style or belongings. The confident way you're able carry yourself can make you seem like quite an impressive person at times.

In or out of a relationship, you're the kind of person who tolerates criticism pretty well. In fact, if a friend or lover offered you some constructive feedback, you'd probably see their concern as an act of compassion. Because you're not likely to take people's words too personally, you can be very approachable and easy to talk to. These are both really special traits to have in relationships. However just because you accept criticism well, doesn't mean you never feel blue. On the contrary, when you're low, you may tend to dwell on your sorrows until they seem much larger than they really are. You may even find yourself shutting yourself off from people and feeling uncomfortable in your environment. At times like these, be gentle with yourself. Try little things to cheer yourself up. Watch your favorite movie or get outside. Above all, know that the blues will pass.

When you're part of a couple, it's interesting to note that while strong commitment is of paramount importance to you, a strong emotional connection may be less so. In fact, for you the physical high of sex may become a more important focus of your relationship than other aspects of sharing. Being aware of this priority and finding someone who shares it will be vital. It will ensure that you and your mate both feel fulfilled in your relationship, giving you a better chance of keeping the love you seek.

One Year Anniversary.

2007-11-01T18:38:00.000+08:00

Oh yes...you got that right! It's officially my one year anniversary...

...with Blogger! Hahaha! You thought I was talking about...someone, huh? Hehehe...

I can't believe it. One year ago, I was merely doing this for past time. As days, weeks, months passed by, I find myself doing this more and more...as if it was really necessary. Who would have thought that I was going to make this a habit.

The thing is...I really don't mind anymore who reads my blog. I remember freaking out the moment I found out that my professors discovered my blog. Then I got used to it...so, in the end, I have accepted the fact that one way or another I will hear comments from them about my latest entry in my blog. Hahaha!

Anyway, I'm out of things to say. I'll probably be back later...

Ciao!

Serendipity Made Me Think.

2007-10-26T06:58:00.000+08:00

Good morning, world! It is yet another day to blog. Hehehe...

I was in Starbucks Vito Cruz yesterday, working on my thesis. Oh yes, I'm slowly saying goodbye to my sembreak to make progress in my thesis. Anyway, in the course of the painstaking research, I received a text message from a friend that caught my attention. I actually stopped at what I was doing and thought about that message.

Oftentimes, we ask for signs..
For us to know if the person is the right one..
But what if there are no signs?
Is the 'absence of signs' a sign?

As you all know, I have been living the single life ever since. I've experienced a lot of heartaches through the years. When I got to third year college, it was then that I really realized that there's absolutely no need for me to search for "the one." It was then that I decided...no more thinking too much about "relationships" with my guy friends. I just thought that if the guy is "the one," I'll receive some kind of sign from God. What that sign may be, that is between me and God.

And then I receive this message. Is it actually trying to tell me something? What if there is no need for signs? Will I just know? Hmm...maybe yes, maybe no...leaning more on yes, of course.

So...is the 'absence of signs" a sign?

Can somebody tell me?

Estoy Aburrido!

2007-10-24T16:50:00.000+08:00

There is absolutely nothing to do today. I know I made plans to work on my thesis but...it's just too damn cold and this is just making me too lazy. Aw...I'm absolutely going to get it. This is not good. I can imagine it now...my adviser would stare at me and say, "What have you been doing for the past three weeks?"

I shouldn't really be this lazy...but the rain won't stop and I'm getting this feeling that I need to get out of my house, bring my school work with me and do them in my usual study place: Starbucks. That's what I usually do. *Sigh* If only the weather was OK.

I'm getting hungry...gotta go!

Ciao!

Random Blogthings Quizzes.

2007-10-24T10:01:00.000+08:00

Your Inner Child Is Surprised

You see many things through the eyes of a child.
Meaning, you're rarely cynical or jaded.
You cherish all of the details in life.
Easily fascinated, you enjoy experiencing new things.

How Is Your Inner Child?

You Are Cheesecake

Rich, sweet, and simply perfect.
You're not boring - you're just the best!

What Dessert Are You Most Like?

Guys Like That You're Sensitive

And not in that "cry at a drop of a hat" sort of way
You just get most guys - even if you're not trying to
Guys find it is easy to confide in you and tell you their secrets
No wonder you tend to get close quickly in relationships!

What Do Guys Like About You?

You Are a Fun Girl!

You are all about having fun - and you don't need to drink to have a good time
Sure, you've thrown back more than a few every so often
But getting totally stupid and wasted is not your style
You're the life of the party, by keeping everyone laughing and smiling

Are You a Party Girl?

Wednesday Morning Blog.

2007-10-24T07:11:00.000+08:00

It's been raining for 24 hours straight. I don't know why...but the rain has made me feel a little blue. I can't really explain how it's making me feel a wee bit down in the dumps -- it just does. I don't have any plans for the day to go out...I don't have any plans today, period. Somehow, I feel like the rain is trying to tell me something. I guess I just have to wait a while before I can decode this "message."

Regardless of the blues, I continue blogging. Who knows? Maybe I'll figure out why I've been feeling sad.

After minutes of thinking what to type, I realized I don't have any idea how to go about today's entry. *Sigh* Maybe it's because I woke up an hour ago and my brain is not yet exactly in the mood to think. Haha!

Anyway, don't worry...I'll be back...sooner or later. I'm sure there's something to blog about today.

Just wait.

The Countdown Begins.

2007-10-21T21:53:00.000+08:00

A hundred and thirty days left...before I can finally say, "It's over." My college years will be done. And sixteen days after that, I'll be marching with my classmates and friends as we graduate. It seems like only last week when we were starting the school year. All of a sudden, I find myself getting ready to enroll myself for the second semester. My last semester.

*Sigh*

I just can't believe it. I can't believe that in a few months, I'm going to say goodbye to the school I've gone to for four years. Hmmm...I don't know if I should be happy or sad. I guess I'm feeling both. People might think that I'm thinking about it so soon...but who couldn't? It's already in front of me...would I choose to ignore it? Of course not. There's no escaping it. Before I know it, that day has finally come.

And so the countdown begins.

Let's see what interesting things are going to happen to me.

Yet Another Glorietta Incident.

2007-10-21T13:49:00.000+08:00

Just after eating lunch, I received yet another startling news about Glorietta. Our neighbor just told Papi that there was a fire in Glorietta 4. Immediately, we turned the television on and tuned in to local news channels. Finally, Channel 26 flashed "Restoran sa Glorietta 4, nasunog."

The fire came from Seafood Seafood Market Restaurant, located at the second floor. The smoke from the restaurant even reached the third floor. According to reports, the fire was caused by a faulty electrical wiring and an exhaust problem. Fortunately, the whole incident was immediately contained and no one was injured.

*Sigh* What in heaven's name is happening?

Harry Potter Shocker!

2007-10-20T16:39:00.001+08:00

I was simply surfing the net. I was logging in my Multiply and Friendster accounts, checking my mail, downloading music. I was listening to Natalie's "Love You So" when I decided to search for the song's lyrics in Yahoo. It was then that something caught my attention.

'Potter' author stirs things up. Without hesitation, I clicked on it and read the article.

*Gasp!* Albus Dumbledore is GAY! J.K. Rowling outed on of the beloved characters of the Harry Potter series in front of many people during her book reading and book signing at Carnegie Hall.

I still can't believe it. I'm still in shock. Hahaha!

Nonetheless, Albus Dumbledore is Albus Dumbledore. I still love him, along with the other characters of the Harry Potter series.

I thought I'd blog today...so there!

Ciao!

Glorietta Blast.

2007-10-19T18:24:00.000+08:00

I was supposed to meet my friend in Glorietta this afternoon. We wanted to talk about something and we usually eat out in Luk Yuen located at Glorietta 2. We agreed to meet at 2 o'clock. By 1:30 in the afternoon, as I was about to leave school to go to the mall, I received a rather disturbing news from my mom. She said that there was a bombing in Glorietta 2. When I read that message, I was in total awe. I didn't know whether my mom was telling me what happened or if she was asking me if I was aware. Either way, the message caused me to be totally blank.

I immediately texted my friend to see whether or not she's OK. Fortunately, she was still at home. Thank God! I don't know what I'd do if she was injured or something. As soon as I got home, I turned the television on to see what happened. When I saw the images of the bombing, I was at a loss for words.

Just take a look (images taken from Inquirer.net)

My Life is 93% Happy

2007-10-16T12:25:00.000+08:00

[ ]You have a boyfriend/girlfriend
[ ]You are in love
[x]You have your own room.
[x]You own a cell phone
[x]You have an ipod/ mp3 player
[x]Your parents are still married.
[x]You have more than 1 best friend. - si BEZ at syempre si mr. shock absorber...hahaha!
[x]There is a swimming pool in your backyard.

T 0 T A L: 6

[x] You dress how you want to.
[x] You hang out with friends more than once a week.
[x] There is a computer/laptop in your room.
[ ] You have never been beaten up.
[ ] You NEVER cry more than twice a month.
[x] You are allowed to listen to the music you want to.
[x] Your room is big enough for you.

T 0 T A L: 5

[x] You have over 50 friends on friendster - in both accounts...
[x] You have over 500 friends on friendster - in my first account...
[ ] You have over 1000 friends on friendster
[x] You have pictures on friendster
[x] Your parents let you have a friendster
[x] You get allowance
[x] You collect something normal.
[x] You look forward to going to school. - it's not always...but i do...
[x] You don't wish you were someone else.
[x] You play a sport.
[x] You do something after school.

T 0 T A L: 10

[ ] You own a car
[ ] You usually don't fight with your mom
[x] You are happy with your appearance
[ ] You have never gotten a failing grade in your life
[x] You have friends

T 0 T A L: 2

[x] You know what is going on in the world.
[x] You care about many people.
[x] You know more than one language
[x] You have a screen name
[x] You own a pet.
[x] You know the words to more than 5 songs.
[x] You dont have any enemies - as far as i know...
[x] You are a generally nice person.

T O T A L: 8

TOTAL OVERALL: 31

Now count your numbers and multiply by 3

Then title this "MY LIFE IS _% HAPPY

A Few Words.

2007-10-13T09:46:00.000+08:00

It's been 13 days since my brother left...9 days since my best friend left. Two people I cherish are thousands of miles away from me. I still can't get over it. Most people think I've gotten over the depression. Well, newsflash -- I'm not. Sure, I'm not as sad as I am when they left...but the melancholy is still definitely there.

*Sigh*

I think I'll log out for a while. I'm not feeling so good.

Morning Praise.

2007-10-11T08:38:00.000+08:00

Every morning, I make it a point that I always say my prayers for the new day that has been given to me by my Father. Regardless of whether I feel down or happy or miserable, I always pray. For a good 10 minutes after I wake up, I pray to God and tell Him what is in my heart.

Today, it felt like a prayer wasn't enough. After praying, I felt like I needed to listen to a song. This song is probably one of those songs I will sing forever...this song, as hard as it is for me to explain, always made me feel assured that I am loved.

It is simply the perfect song.

First Semester is Over!

2007-10-10T19:33:00.000+08:00

I'm celebrating! Oh yes! I am celebrating...because I can finally take a breather!

I don't want to stay long...all I care about is...I can sleep long hours again!!!

Like this...

Yeah!!!

Awkward.

2007-10-05T05:24:00.000+08:00

It's an awkward feeling. Waking up today, knowing that things have changed...but you have no idea whether it's for better or for worse.

I'm still sad. Every time I think about it, I can feel the tears starting to well up in my eyes. It's really not easy, you know. Trying to think about something else. One way or another, you're going to think about it. There's absolutely no escaping the thought.

I've started to feel this way since two weeks ago...when my brother left for L.A. And things aren't getting any easier. I tried to stop myself from crying but I can't. My college friends said, "It's OK, you still have us." No offense to them, I appreciate the comfort a lot. I know I still have so many friends I can count on. But I think everyone would agree that...it would still be different. Sure, your friends are with you; you can meet up anytime you want. But you will still look for your best friend.

I miss my best friend. I miss my brother. Two very important people in my life are a thousand miles away and I can only settle for mere chats and emails.

I better go. I'm having an early start on studying for my finals in International Law.

That Fateful Day.

2007-10-04T05:47:00.000+08:00

Too much is changing...and there's absolutely nothing I can do about it.

It's that day that I was dreading for. I was scared of this day. Chi is leaving for the States and...I can't do anything to stop her from going. As much as I want to make her stay, as much as I want her to be here, where I can see her anytime I want to...I can't.

Everything's changing. Kuya Rom's in Los Angeles, Chi is leaving in a couple of hours...things keep happening that I can't control.

*Sigh*

The tears have yet to stop from falling. I can't seem to cheer myself up from this situation. Would you say that I'm overreacting from this? I guess. But I don't care. How would you feel if you spent your life with someone for so many years and then you found yourself saying goodbye to that one person when you least expect it? Now you tell me if crying about it and feeling depressed is overreacting.

Sure, I'll see her again. In about a year or two. It's hard to adjust to it now. It's hard to adjust to the kind of life from before when Chi is just a jeepney ride away to the situation that's going to be when I have to settle for chats and emails.

I know Chi will probably see this the moment she logs in the internet. You know how I feel about it, Bez. Ever since that day you told me you're leaving after you graduate, you know how I felt. I'm happy for you but...it's just going to be a hard time for me to adjust to the new reality when you're not near anymore...when you and I can no longer hang out in Starbucks whenever we feel like it.

I'm going to miss you so very much...

Bittersweet.

2007-10-03T21:05:00.000+08:00

The hardest thing about friendship is parting. When someone you love moves away, it seemed as if that friendship was just starting until that one fateful day. I never saw it coming, it hit so very fast. The departure was in sight and it was then I realized that we've just spent our last days together.

I miss her now everyday. I can't believe our time is done. We helped each other through many times, both good and bad. As I think of them and reminisce, I see how much we grew from little kids to young adults, we were all each other had. She wasn't just any friend who dropped by and left. Now we're going our separate ways, all I can do is remember the fun we've had through the years.

I Fell Asleep at 8:30!

2007-10-03T05:57:00.000+08:00

I don't know if I was too tired or if the weather was too cold. Bottom line...I was able to sleep. Sorry to Alla and Euki...we were in the middle of our chat when I fell asleep. Hey! I haven't had enough sleep for the past week, I needed this!

So what am I going to do now? Well, I'm done with my synthesis paper in Gender, Development and Peace. I'm currently doing my reviewer for Public International Law. Oh yeah! The first semester is about to end and I'm looking forward to it.

Anyway, I better start making breakfast.

Ciao!

Blog Entry No. 180

2007-09-30T08:06:00.000+08:00

It is only now that I realized that after 11 months of blogging, I am just 20 entries short before making it to 200. Hahaha!

I can't believe how September just came flying by. It seemed like only yesterday, I was looking forward to my retreat by end of August...now it's actually the last day of September and it felt as if I wasn't able to do as much of the things I wanted to do this month.

Yesterday, I went to Starbucks Vito Cruz. My laptop at hand, my handouts properly placed in my filing folder, I was ready to go and finish my papers for the week. Surprisingly, there weren't too many people in Starbucks around that time and I was able to sit at my usual table. So for 3 hours straight, I was reading articles and writing down notes and typing in Microsoft Word. After three hours, my head was practically spinning from the information overload.

After hours of sitting around, drinking coffee (yes, I'm still on my two-digit budget limit), it felt like I should take a break. So I decided to read a book a certain someone (you know who you are) was recommending to me. According to him, I will be able to relate to the story. The book was called "The Thorn Birds" by Colleen McCullough. It was a great story, to say the least. Honestly, I seldom read novels like these but hey...I don't regret reading this one. I couldn't even put the book down. I found myself flipping through the pages until I realized that I am 15 pages away from finishing the whole book.

Let me end this entry with a memorable quote in the book...

"The day that I first saw you at the Gilly station, you smiled at me, then you said my name. Then you touched me... And since that day, I have somehow known, though I never saw you again, that my last thought this side of the grave would be of you... And there's nothing I can do to change it. Do you know how terrifying it is, that power you have over me?"

Morning Blog.

2007-09-28T04:38:00.000+08:00

4:38 in the morning.

I woke up from a much needed sleep. I had a six-hour sleep last night. It felt good to finally be able to catch a break at least for one night It's also a good thing that I have today as a rest day. I'm going out with my high school barkada just to hang out. By tomorrow, I'll be doing school work until the break of dawn once again. But let's not dwell on tomorrow's plans. I'd rather think about what I'm going to do later together with my friends. Hehehe...

Surprisingly, I really don't know what to put in my blog right now. My mind is completely blank. Truth is...I'm still feeling a bit groggy. Anyway, I think I better go. I want to go back to sleep and the only way that's going to happen is closing this blog and shutting off my laptop. Haha!

Good morning, people! It's back to sleep for me...

Back to the Habit.

2007-09-26T05:35:00.000+08:00

It's back to no sleep in the weekdays. It was actually after the defense that I realized that I still had much to do for the semester. Papers, reports, debates -- the list goes on and on. And may I remind you that this is just for academics? I still have The Scholastican to worry about.

So yes, it really hasn't been as relaxing as I hoped it would be. Who has time to relax? It seems like the moment I finish with one workload, another one comes piling in. *Sigh* It will all end...it will.

As much as I want to stay and make this entry longer, I better get going. I still have a lot to finish.

Radio Prod Talent!

2007-09-22T11:46:00.000+08:00

This was a first for me. But I guess it was bound to happen since I have friends in the MassComm department. Jen Chan asked me to be her talent in her Radio Prod class today. It was such a nerve-wrecking experience but in the end, I had fun. It felt a little silly, but...I enjoyed it, much to my surprise.

I was the guest for "Kulasa Conversations." Being the Editor-in-Chief of The Schoalstican, I was asked (obviously) information about the school publication. I thought that they would throw hard questions at me. Fortunately, the interview was pretty free-flowing.

Anyway, I think I better go. I need to do something here in school. Oh yeah...I forgot to mention that I'm using Wi-Fi here in the Social Hall. Hehehe...

Ciao!

Kuya Rom Goes to US.

2007-09-22T03:55:00.000+08:00

I woke up around 3 o'clock in the morning, realizing what day it was: today is the day Kuya Rom leaves for the US...and there's really nothing I can do about it.

As much as I would like him to stay and be with his family, it's not for me to decide how he should live his life. This is his life. He knows what is best for himself. It would be too selfish of me to ask him to stay. A bigger part of me is happy for him...very happy. I just can't deny that there's that small part inside of me that's sad.

For 21 years, my brother and I have been inseparable. It was only this year that we weren't able to celebrate our birthdays together. Now...we won't be able to spend Christmas together. And unfortunately, he won't be here to see me graduate.

Hmm...I think I should go for a while...I still have to prepare for my class in International Law.

Until then...

I Saw Elliott Yamin at Trinoma!!!

2007-09-21T12:07:00.000+08:00

You read it right, fellow bloggers/dear readers/unexpected blog hitters.

I went all the way to Trinoma in Quezon City just to watch American Idol Elliott Yamin. Don't really have much to say except...

Just check out my Multiply site for pictures and videos.

Pictures: Elliott Yamin in Trinoma

Videos:
Elliott Yamin 1
Elliott Yamin 2
Elliott Yamin 3
Elliott Yamin 4
Elliott Yamin 5

Ciao!

I Can Finally Sleep!

2007-09-20T21:02:00.000+08:00

Yes! After the long and winding road, I can finally sleep. I have been sleep-deprived for a couple of days now because I have been preparing for my report in Gender, Development and Peace and getting ready for my thesis defense. Oh! Did I mention that both of them were held on the SAME day? Now you know.

The report went well. I was able to answer Ms. Cucio's questions without blacking out. Hehehe. Even though I honestly dreaded to do my report, I was still doing OK. I'm glad. One down.

Then, of course, there's the thesis defense. I was feeling...hmm...what was I feeling? Actually, I didn't really know what I was going through when I stood in front of the panel. A bit rattled, yes, but it wasn't really nervousness. Whatever it was, it was gone when I started talking and discussed my thesis.

Good responses from the panel, fortunately. I didn't really expect this kind of turnout. But bottom line is this: I'm happy.

As much as I would like to stay online and blog...I really need to get some sleep.

G'night, dear readers and fellow bloggers! Until the next blog entry...

I Have a Baby!!!

2007-09-17T20:05:00.000+08:00

Gotcha!

Hahaha...don't take it literally, people. I don't have a "real" baby.

As of 02:17 in the afternoon, I officially bought my first ever laptop. Oh yeah! I'm celebrating! I have a laptop and I am just so happy about the whole thing.

That's all I have to say right now. Hehehe...

Disney Princesses Quiz

2007-09-16T10:11:00.000+08:00

Thanks to my friend, Nina, I got hold of this "quiz." Hmm...I wonder which Disney Princess I am. Yesterday, at the POLIS Acquaintance Party, I was in the "Princess Ariel" team. Hahaha!

* * *

Cinderella:
[ ] One of your parents is dead
[x] You are expected to do a lot of chores
[x] You love to dress up
[x] You love animals
[x] You are waiting patiently for your Prince Charming
[ ] Your mom is really strict
[ ] You have sisters who seem kind of jealous of you
[x] You're afraid to speak your mind sometimes
[ ] You have left your shoes at a friend's house before
[ ] You have blonde hair
TOTAL: 5

Belle:
[ ] You've fallen in love with someone your friends didn't like
[ ] You've been lost in the forest
[x] You love to read
[ ] You are not shy at all, and not afraid to speak your mind
[x] One of your family members is a bit weird
[x] You have done volunteer work
[x] You have a wild imagination
[x] You love to take care of people in need
[ ] You've had guys like you only because they think you're pretty
[x] You've rejected at least one person when they've asked you out
TOTAL: 6

Jasmine:
[ ] Your dad is very rich/important
[x] You are very clever - at least, I'd like to think so...hahaha!
[x] You've fallen in love with someone way different from you
[x] You're unique and different from everyone else
[x] You'd never marry someone just because they were rich
[x] You have set a lot of goals for yourself
[ ] You don't have a lot of friends
[x] You're independent
[ ] You have a very nice house
[ ] Your parents try to control your life
TOTAL: 6

Ariel:
[x] Your parents expect a lot from you
[x] You really try to follow the rules, but it's hard for you
[ ] You're a bit of a trouble maker
[x] You're the youngest in your family
[ ] You have a lot of sisters
[x] You collect something
[ ] You have long, red hair
[ ] You have a pet fish
[x] You're extremely curious
[x] You believe everything people tell you/you're a bit gullible - unfortunately, I am at times...
TOTAL: 6

Snow White:
[x] You know that you're beautiful - can we change the word to "pretty"??? hehehe...
[ ] Sometimes it seems like your mom is jealous of you
[ ] You've almost been killed
[x] You have at least seven good friends
[ ] You've had food poisoning
[ ] You have short brown hair
[ ] You get along with everyone - there's bound to be at least one who doesn't like me.
[x] All of your friends are different
[x] You love to have a good time
[ ] You're happier when you're out of the house than in
TOTAL: 4

Mulan:
[ ] You're a tomboy
[ ] Everyone wishes you could be a bit more girly
[ ] You've pretended to be someone you're not
[ ] You've had a physical fight with someone
[ ] You have/had considered running away from home
[ ] Your parents try to plan your life out
[ ] Most of your friends are boys
[x] You sometimes find yourself in bad situations
[x] You love your family so much that you'd do anything to protect them
[x] You are proud that you're different
TOTAL: 3

Aurora (Sleeping Beauty):
[ ] You live with someone other than your parents
[ ] You were almost killed at a very young age.
[x] You are gentle, loving, and/or thoughful - I'd like to think I am...
[x] You have a beautiful voice - that's what everybody tells me...and I'd like to think so...hehe
[x] You like to sleep in late on the weekends
[ ] You spend most of your time outside
[ ] You're adopted
[x] You have long hair
[x] You're very romantic - I think I am...
[ ] Pink is one of your favorite colors
TOTAL: 5

Pocahontas:
[x] You love to walk around and explore your city
[ ] You are more spiritual than religious
[ ] You've been in an interracial relationship
[ ] One of your siblings is dead
[x] Your parents are very protective of you
[x] Someone you know has been in war
[x] You love nature
[ ] You have black hair
[ ] You would love to move somewhere exotic and beautiful
[ ] You're very adventurous
TOTAL: 4

* * *

Hmm...so I am a combination of Belle, Jasmine and Ariel...hah!

Sleepy.

2007-09-15T20:08:00.000+08:00

I got my most awaited sleep yesterday. It was only then that I could say, I slept long enough to actually say I had a dream about someone. Hahaha! It was something I looked forward to...the sleep, I mean. Lately, it was always a one-hour sleep; most of the time, there was no sleep at all. Good thing I finally rested.

As much as possible, I am taking every opportunity to sleep because by Monday, it's work work work again. Woe is me.

Anyway, I think I'll log out for a while. I've been yawning 8 times the past 20 minutes. Is that normal?

Be right back.

Part II.

2007-09-11T19:41:00.000+08:00

So where were we? Ah yes...I finally went inside Starbucks and continued to study for my class in International Law.

It was pretty much "peaceful" when I got in Starbucks, minding my own business, studying and all. Of course, from time to time I would receive text messages from a couple of friends. Basically, I got things done...at least, things I needed to do for the next day.

You'd think that the second part of my memorable Friday was all that.

Here's the interesting part. Note to Marc: I hope you'll be happy. As they say in Filipino, "Pabida effect ka dito!"

It wasn't exactly as peaceful as you would assume it would be. The thing is...throughout the time I would be studying in my little corner in Starbucks, Marc would come over and have a little chitchat whenever he got stuck in the paper he was doing.

Number of times Marc came by my table: 4 times.

Not to worry, Marc, I'm not here to make you look bad.

Actually, I was happy to see Marc that time. It was sort of an "update me with your life" session. It's not everyday that you would see your former boss and just talk, right?

My Starbucks Friday ended around 6 o'clock in the evening. I've finished studying at that time and I felt my head starting to spin. It was almost like an information overload.

* * *

So who would have thought I'd have a day like that? Hahaha! I find it so hilarious that a couple of my friends are starting to think about spending time in Starbucks so that they could experience first hand what I already went through. Hehehe...

Anyway, it is time to go. Still have some things to do...

G'bye!

Break Time.

2007-09-10T18:05:00.000+08:00

I started studying for tomorrow's class eight hours ago. You would think that by now, I'd be finished. Think again. I am not even halfway done with my studies. Not even close. *Sigh* Woe to me. How am I going to go through tomorrow?

Left without any energy to complain about it, I have decided instead to blog my obvious state of restlessness. Hmm...maybe I should just blog about something that happened a few days ago. Specifically, what happened last Friday, September 7th. Yes, it was, yet again, one of those very memorable days.

Note to readers: the reason why I am actually doing this entry is because there are two particular people requesting that I do an entry about this day. You know who you are. So I hope you're satisfied. Hahaha!

* * *

I arrived in school around 10 o'clock carrying a nice bouquet of flowers from ___ (I don't want to say who it is...but most of you probably know). I bumped into Euki and Angelo when I entered the school and unfortunately for Euki, she wasn't able to see ___ (sorry, people...I really can't say who it is). Angelo even made a comment. Hmph! I'll get you for that, Mr. John Angelo Cortez!

Anyway, back to the story. I immediately went to The Scholastican Office to supervise layout with Peachy and Karen. As I passed by the halls of my school, I can see a number of students looking at me. I wasn't humiliated. But I did feel a little conscious, carrying the bouquet around.

I stayed in school until after lunch, when Peachy and Karen were done with layouting the Deluge page. I even met up with my professor, Sir Bugaoan, at the canteen when I bought food before I went. As usual, he had that sly, all-knowing smile when he saw me carrying the bouquet. Let me just quote him on what he told me about the bouquet, "It's love."

Whoa whoa whoa! Absolutely not. It's not like that at all. Tsk tsk tsk. Shame on Sir Bugaoan for thinking that. Hahaha!

I left for Starbucks around 1:30 in the afternoon. Again, walking with the bouquet still made me conscious. When I got there, I went inside to check if there are still seats available. Unfortunately, there weren't any. So I put my stuff down on one of the tables located outside. When I turned around, I was greeted by an someone unexpected.

"Excuse me, miss," I heard the voice say. All of a sudden, I found myself looking at my professor, Sir Peter. What are the odds of me seeing him in Starbucks? We didn't talk much. He had company. He just asked me whether or not Tracy was able to make it on time for the talk with PAASCU. I actually didn't see Tracy in school but I told him that I know she was there early.

Anyway, I went in to order my usual Grande Mocha Frappucino. Before I was able say my order, a certain someone caught my eye. Once again, another unexpected person was there. It was my boss in DFA, Marc. Yes, yes...I call him Marc now. Since I am no longer his trainee, and he said he's going to "kill" me if I call him "Sir" one more time. He was about to go outside, so I pointed him to where I was sitting and I proceeded to order my drink.

A few minutes later, I was out with Marc and my Mocha Frappucino. If I recall correctly, he even said, "Di na talaga nagbago, no? Mocha frappe pa rin." We had a little chitchat, he was trying to stop me from studying International Law because I quote, "There is no such thing as international law in the first place." And he went on explaining to me why. At some point, I was thinking to myself, "Uh-oh...what will Sir Peter say once we see each other in class?" Hehehe...

After about 40 minutes, he went back inside to work on his term paper. Sorry, Marc...I forgot what your paper was all about again. Before leaving me behind, he told me that I should go in as soon as a table is free. Sure! No problem. Hahaha!

About 30 minutes after Marc has gone in, I found a table I can sit inside and went in before anyone else got there first.

*Sigh*

I wish I could go on...but...it's time to get back to work. Part II will be posted tomorrow...hopefully.

Ciao!

Morning's Here.

2007-09-09T08:33:00.000+08:00

Morning's here, the morning's here
Sunshine is near
The sky is blue, the morning's here

o O o

Good morning!

I may not be able to blog today because I'll be going to my Lola's house in Parañaque and will probably be there until much much later.

Nothing much to tell. Hehehe...oooh! Oh yeah...I finally customized my Multiply site! Hahaha! A little shallow, yes, but proud of it.

So what am I going to do now? Oh my...still have lots to do with academics and thesis and TS.

Thinking About Yesterday's Post.

2007-09-08T20:52:00.000+08:00

Too often these days, we get so caught up in the mundane details of our lives that we forget to see the wonder in what we have, in the loves and friendships we find in our lives. We are so busy with our academic loads and our daily jobs that we forget to see the miracles all about us. Weighed down by our every day lives, we forget that fairy tales can come true.

There is magic in love, beauty in friendship. Is it not a miracle that in all the wide world, two people might find each other, fall in love, and spend their lives with one another? Sometimes when life treats us unfairly, when love leaves us broken-hearted, we forget that someday our prince will come. But if we open our hearts to the wonder about us, our own fairy tales can come true.

Believing in the magic in everyday life, seeing that our lives can be fairy tales, doesn't mean that the real world is any less there. Bills still need to be paid, daily jobs must be worked. But happiness is something we choose to have, as much as it is something we find, and when you choose to see the wonder in your life, miracles can happen.

In this world of rent, bills, and jobs, two people might - through a series of amazing coincidences - meet. Become friends. Fall in love. Find in each other they kind of quiet solace and passionate love that is the envy of others.

The "L" Word Keeps Crawling Back.

2007-09-07T06:26:00.000+08:00

I woke up around 5 o'clock in the morning. No reason at all. As usual, I would simply get up and turn the computer on and surf the net. I went to my Multiply site to see what's new and I saw an entry by Chi. "Once Upon an End." That was the title of her blog entry. It caught my attention. It seemed intriguing. So I read it...only to find out it was about fairy tales and love lives.

I don't know why. But suddenly I had the urge to write something. Hmmm...just when I thought this day was going to be same old, same old.

* * *

When I was about 7 or 8 years old, I started to daydream about being a princess in those fairy tale stories I used to read. I instantly loved the idea of having a prince to come for me one day and save me...from whatever it is I need saving from. I don't know. I was a kid, I didn't know what was in store for me in the future. So yes, I filled my head with these images of what I thought would be a great fairy tale come to life when I reached a certain age.

Years passed, I still thought about my would-be fairy tale life. I was waiting for my "prince." Yes, yes, I realized that my head was up in Cloud 9. But what was I to do? I was in love with the whole idea.

High school years have come and gone, I have had my share of kilig moments and heartbreaks. Still, it didn't stop me from thinking that I would someday meet that one person who was looking for me all his life. Too cheesy, I know, but at that point, I got the habit of reading romance novels. My head was filled up with these love stories here and there, I was daydreaming time to time.

Then college years arrived. This was the time it hit me. My life wasn't the fairy tale story I have always dreamed of. It wasn't as sweet as I hoped it would be. My college years have brought me to tears more times than it made me happy.

From 2004 to present. Total heartaches or heartbreaks: Three. The third was the most painful one. Apart from the fact that I still haven't found the "prince" I was looking for, life was simply...treacherous, to say the least. Feuds between friends, misunderstanding in the group, you know the drill. *Sigh* Would I want to go back in time and change things. Sure, somehow I wished that certain things never happened at all. But then again, in a way, I'm glad they did, because I had a new perspective in life.

Back to the heartbreaks. I was so down in the dumps. I was depressed. I wanted to just give up on love. There, I said it. The "L" word. No matter what I do, it seemed that I will never get the chance to find my prince.

Until I realized that I don't need to find my "prince." No search necessary. At that time, I realized that I already have a "prince." Yes, it's true. That, I do.

Oh no...I'm not in a relationship. Absolutely not. But believe it or not, I have found a "prince" in a dear friend of mine. Who would have thought, huh? Isn't it wonderful? I don't know if my friend IS my prince charming...but he is, without a doubt, a prince to me. Must I ramble on with stories about him? Hmm...maybe some other time. For now, that is all you need to know.

It's funny. I just realized something. That is...

Once in a while, in the middle of an ordinary life...love gives us a fairy tale.

Evening Blogging.

2007-09-06T22:52:00.000+08:00

Sleep.

The bed is calling me to lie down and go to sleep. But I can't. Unfortunately, I can't. Not yet.

*Sigh*

Woe is me. I can't go to sleep even if I wanted to. I have yawned six times for the past 20 minutes. Does that have any significance to you at all?

People would probably say, "Why don't you just go to sleep?" Yeah...if only it was that easy for me to do it. The thing is...I'm just really swamped with so much school load. Readings. Papers. Reports. Cases. Thesis. Presswork. These are just some of the things I'm doing.

Yes, I know I can do more than two things at a time but...this is just too much. Everything keeps piling up and seems like I'm not getting any work done.

Maybe I should try to go to sleep. I need it anyway. I didn't get any last night.

Good night, people!

Blogging in TS Office.

2007-09-05T15:59:00.000+08:00

02:20 in the afternoon

Yes, as a matter of fact, I am currently in The Scholastican Office, blogging my blues away. I don't exactly know why. I just feel a little bit down. I can't seem to really cheer myself up. Yes, I am once again wearing a mask for everybody's sakes.

Academics.

Thesis.

TS.

My top three priorities. Hmm...somehow, I don't think it's quite right. I feel that it shouldn't be my top three priorities. If anything...I think they should be my TOP PRIORITIES.

*Sigh*

03:30 in the afternoon

Then all of a sudden, my attention goes to another incident.

What a way to go.

You know, there are some Scholasticans who really pissed me off today. I won't say who they are...for the sake of keeping their identities a secret.

I was walking back to the publication office, coming from the faculty room. I was, as usual, minding my own business...when...all of a sudden, I stopped on my tracks. Forcibly. I suddenly found myself not moving at all because one (rather huge) student walked in front of me while another walked behind me. Wait...they weren't walking, actually...they were sprinting, rather. As soon as I got my composure back, I saw who they were. The nerve!

Those ____ students who thought it would be a great idea to take a short cut to get a glimpse of the professor they were crushing on. Hmph!

Am I that thin or that small to not see?! Am I not visible at all to the human eye?! Am I not a person to say, "excuse me" or "sorry" or whatever needs to be said at that moment?! My gosh! The audacity of these people...

Some of you readers know who I'm talking about. You've probably seen them along the hallways of our school.

I'm still a little bit frustrated...I think now is the time to go to Starbucks and calm myself down a bit. Yeah...I probably need to do that. I've been in school since 9 in the morning. I need to go some place else.

Ciao!

"My marrying age is 30." --> Wooo! Nine Years to Go!!!

2007-09-01T19:26:00.000+08:00

I got this from Meg's site. I wonder how this would go...

Thanks, Meg!

* * *

[x] I know how to make a pot of coffee.
[x] I keep track of dates using a calendar.
[ ] I own more than one credit card.
[ ] I know how to change the oil in my dads car.
[x] I do my own laundry.
[x] I vote every election.
[x] I can cook for myself.
[x] I think politics are exciting.
[ ] I balance my checkbook.
[x] My parents have better things to say than my friends.

total: 7

[x] I show up for school/college/work every day early.
[x] I always carry a pen in my pocket/purse
[x] I've never gotten a detention.
[x] I have never smoked a cigarette.
[x] I have never gotten completely trashed.
[ ] I have forgotten my own birthday at least once.
[x] I like to take walks by myself.
[x] I've watched talk shows.
[x] I know what 'credibility' means without looking it up.
[x] drink coffee at least once a week.

total: 9

[x] I know how to do the dishes
[x] I can count to 10 in another language.
[x] When I say I'm going to do something I do it
[x] My parents trust me.
[ ] I can mow the lawn.
[ ] I can make adults laugh without being stupid.
[ ] I remember to water the plants.
[x] I study when I have to.
[x] I pay attention at school/college.
[ ] I remember to feed my pets.

total: 6

[x] I can spell 'experience' without looking it up
[ ] I work out on a regular basis.
[x] I clean up my own mess.
[ ] The people at Gloria Jeans know me by name.
[ ] my favorite kind of food is take out.
[ ] I have gained weight since middle/high school.
[ ] The first thing I do when I wake up is get caffeine.
[ ] I cant go out of the store without getting something I don't need.
[x] I understand political jokes the first time they are said.
[x] I can type quickly.

total: 4

[x] I have realized that the weather forecast changes every hour.
[ ] My only friends are from my place of employment.
[ ] I have been to a tupperware party
[ ] I have realized that no one will take you seriously unless you are over the age of 25 and have a job.
[ ] I have more bills that I can pay.
[ ] Most of my friends are older than I am.
[x] I can say no to staying out all night.
[x] I use the internet every day.
[ ] My wardrobe hasn't changed in a while.
[x] I can read a book and actually finish it.

total: 4

add up all the number and repost this as: My marrying age is..

Remembering the Retreat: Day Two

2007-08-30T19:17:00.000+08:00

Good news: This day was better than the previous one. It was probably the only day I would like to remember about this whole retreat.

Memories were remembered.
Emotions were felt.
Disappointments were gone.
Friendships were rekindled.
Closures were made.

Honestly, the most part were a little dragging. I was still having trouble really concentrating because of the annoying comments I have been constantly hearing from one side of the room. Fortunately, there was a session where we were to spend some time with ourselves. It was a nice feeling. I was even able to write letters to my friends (again).

What I loved most about this day was when we had our Reflection session. We got to read letters from friends. I was actually surprised because...I didn't actually expect that I would get letters from almost everyone in Fine Arts. I was expecting maybe two or three letters. But the fact that I received so many letters, it was very much overwhelming. Thank you so much for the letters, people!

Then it came to that session where anyone could talk to anyone we wanted to. I got to talk to a couple of my friends in PolSci. Then, of course, I got to talk to two of my friends in Fine Arts. Those two conversations were the most heartwarming and emotional conversations.

The first one was with Euki. No need to tell you how the conversation went on. All you need to know is that it was a talk filled with crying.

The second was with Angelo. Again, I don't need to narrate how our talk went. Whatever we talked about, it was between me and him. But I will tell you this: it was the first time I felt relieved with our talk for the longest time. That's about the closest you're going to get to the details.

The rest of the night went by just like that. When the session for the night was over, our barkada had our own conference. No details necessary. Everything is between us and the room.

All in all, this day was OK.

Remembering the Retreat: Day One

2007-08-29T21:54:00.000+08:00

August 27th.

It was a day I was looking forward to. It wasn't because it was just a retreat. It's not about taking a break from school life. It was for one reason only...it was the opportunity I was waiting for to reconnect with God. Ask anyone, they would tell you it was about me re-establishing my spiritual relationship. I am so caught up with everything around me that I had forgotten to make time for the Lord. This is why I wanted to go through with this retreat. Regardless of the fact that we had two other classes with us, I was still looking forward to this retreat. Bottom line: I wanted this retreat to be something I could look back and smile about when the time comes.

That wasn't exactly the case.

Here's the thing. The fact that I was getting this opportunity to spend quiet time with God was something I needed with everything that's happening to me. Then add the fact that I was going to the retreat with my other circle of friends, the Fine Arts people. So it got me really excited.

Unfortunately, nothing was how I imagined everything to be in this retreat. Was it better? Sad to say, it was not.

I never really got to contemplating on how my life and my relationship with God was. Why? Because all I could hear in the background were voices. A few number of voices, drowning out the supposed serenity of the conference room. It was annoying. Disturbing. Frustrating. People can't seem to grasp that this was a retreat. It wasn't some pure bonding moments with your group of friends. It was supposed to be your time with God. I know that's the reason I was there in Tagaytay. There are just these people who seemed to take it for granted...the time with God, I mean.

From morning, until night, I could hear the same voices. Over and over again, all I heard was BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH! Oh and when it comes to singing...how could these people find it relieving and prayerful if they're making a fool out of themselves singing a song as if it was a nursery rhyme?!

At the end of the day, I was frustrated. I wanted to forget what happened that day. All I wanted then and there was to sleep on the nice bed with the thoughts that hopefully, the second day would be better.

Time of the Season (Game Time with the iPod)

2007-08-20T21:48:00.000+08:00

Ok...I saw this from my high school friend's blog and I got curious. Hehehe...

* * *

RULES:
1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. You must write that song name down no matter how silly it sounds!

* * *

1. If someone says "Is this okay?" you say?
~ Oo by Up Dharma Down (Haha!)

2. What would best describe your personality?
~ Somewhere Over the Rainbow by Eva Cassidy (I must be daydreaming about someone...hehehe)

3. What do you like in a guy/girl?
~ You are the Music in Me by Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens (Come on!!! Meant to be???)

4. How do you feel today?
~ Songbird by Eva Cassidy (I must be in love without me knowing it...)

5. What is your life's purpose?
~ Glamorous by Fergie (Oh yes...that's my purpose...to be glamorous...hahahaha!!!)

6. What is your motto?
~ Let Me Rap by Paris Bennett featuring Kevin Covais (Funny...considering that I don't rap...)

7. What do your friends think of you?
~ Seasons of Love by the Cast of Rent (Cool!)

8. What do you think of your parents?
~ When the Stars Go Blue by Tim McGraw (I just love my parents...hehehe)

9. What do you think about very often?
~ If I was the One by Ruff Ends (Huh?!?)

10. What do you think of your best friend?
~ When You're Gone by Avril Lavigne (Awww...Bez...this is exactly what I'm feeling...)

11. What do you think of the person you like?
~ Always be My Baby by Mariah Carey (Uh...not really the song I had in mind...hehehe)

12. What is your life story?
~ Hey Look at the Sun by Sitti Navarro (That's nice...I like it...)

13. What do you want to be when you grow up?
~ Weak by Jojo (Huh? Now how is this related to what I want to be in the future?)

14. What do you think when you see the person you like?
~ Without Love by Zac Efron, Nikki Blonsky, Elijah Kelley and Amanda Bynes (My iPod is playing tricks on me...)

15. What do your parents think of you?
~ A Song for You by Elliot Yamin (Hmm...I'm thinking this should be my song for my parents)

16. What will you dance to at your wedding?
~ You Take My Breath Away by Eva Cassidy (Oh yes yes yes yes!!! I will definitely dance this song at my wedding...hahahaha!!!)

17. What will they play at your funeral?
~ Tonight I Wanna Cry by Keith Urban (Ok...not the song I am hoping for...)

18. What is your favorite hobby/interest?
~ Say OK by Vanessa Hudgens (Who am I singing this song to???)

19. What is your biggest fear?
~ I Fall So Deep by Elements of Life (What the hell is wrong with my iPod? It's sabotaging me...)

20. What is your biggest secret?
~ Catch Me I'm Falling by Toni Gonzaga (Wait...what?!)

21. What song will be the title when you repost this?
~ Time of the Season by Blake Lewis (Hahahaha!!!)

A Teaser from High School Musical 2.

2007-08-19T07:42:00.000+08:00

I can't help it! High School Musical 2 is just 2 weeks away to be shown in Disney Channel (although in the US, it was already released). I just had to watch a part or two. Thank you, YouTube for the videos! Hahaha!

I realized how early it is to gush over Zac Efron. I don't care. Haha!

Good morning, world!

Cherished Moments.

2007-08-18T21:50:00.000+08:00

How do you say thank you to someone who has just given you a chance to experience something so special? Something you thought would never touch your heart, soul, and mind so deeply?

Words come hard to explain how thankful I am that I shared these cherished moments with someone special. "Thank you" seems so small in comparison to the world I've seen. Even though there were just those few stolen hours, my world is forever changed.

I think the saying is so true, "Life is not measured by the breaths that we take, but by the moments that take our breath away." Those cherished moments took my breath away! I will always remember the man who took my breath away so easily.

Newest Quizzes in Blogthings.

2007-08-18T20:20:00.000+08:00

You Will Be a Modern Bride!

While you aren't ready to throw away all wedding traditions, you want a wedding with a twist
You're more inspired by celebrity weddings on E! than from bridal magazines
Whether this means getting married on the beach barefoot or a mariachi band for the reception...
Your wedding will be a blend of old and new - white dress cocktail, personalized vows, whatever suites you!!!

What Kind of Bride Will You Be?

You Are 36% Emo

You're definitely not emo, but you do understand emo people a little. You are introspective, but not to the point of driving yourself crazy.

Are You Emo?

Your Life is Better Than 69% of All People

You really have things pretty good - so stop a minute and appreciate how great your life is.
You likely have a cheery outlook, supportive friends, and plenty to keep you happily busy.
You are usually content - and with good reason. You have a lot to be happy about.
So when things don't go well, remember that you have it better than most people!

How Does Your Life Compare?

You Are A Gold Girl

You're dependable and hard working. You never miss a deadline - and you're never late.
You have a clear sense of right and wrong. You're very detail oriented.
You get frustrated when your friends are sloppy - or when they don't follow through.
You're on top of things, and you wish that everyone else was!

What Color Girl Are You?

Your Stress Level is: 46%

You are somewhat prone to stress, especially when life gets hard.
When things are good, you resist stressing over little problems.
But when things are difficult, you tend to freak out and find it hard to calm down.

How Stressed Are You?

Another Long Weekend.

2007-08-18T08:32:00.000+08:00

It's really starting to bug me. I find myself stuck in my house with nothing to do because classes have been suspended once again. I really hate this feeling of sluggishness...especially since I have papers to write and reports to research and most of all...my thesis to begin. It's not enough that I have unlimited access to the Internet. I still need the library.

Uh-oh! I just realized something...oh my gosh! I haven't had any Starbucks coffee in a while! Awwww...now I'm really bummed out.

So here I am again, blogging my stress away. Whenever I try to think of something good about the suspended classes, I can only come up with one thing...I have slept longer hours. That's it. Nothing more.

*Sigh* I wish I can say I'm fine with these "classes-are-suspended-days" but I'm just not that OK. It's a little weird, I guess, coming from a student. For all you know, students are celebrating the fact that they haven't a had a class in days. I, on the other hand, am getting more and more frustrated. Doesn't anybody share my sentiments on this thing?!

I think I need to eat...again...

The Stormy Days are Starting to Annoy Me.

2007-08-17T08:33:00.000+08:00

I used to love hearing the announcement from PAGASA, "Classes are suspended." I don't, anymore. You'd think I would appreciate those days that I would get to actually stay home, watch television, eat anytime I want, and do whatever I needed to do for school.

Think again.

Maybe it's because my classes are just three times a week and the suspensions are eating away those opportunities for me to do something progressive. Imagine yourself going to school once a week just because the other days were declared suspended classes. It's really starting to frustrate me.

I seem to be the only one who feels this way. I talk to my other friends and...they all wish there won't be classes the whole week. I, on the other hand, would like to go to school and do something productive. Am I weird or what?

I just received a text message from a classmate. She hopes that there won't be classes tomorrow. Oh...I don't know about that. I don't think I can bear another 6-day weekend. I am going to go crazy! I need to get out of my home from time to time.

*Sigh*

Rain, rain, go away...

I mean it.

Hairspray...Zac Efron...Love it!!!

2007-08-16T19:37:00.000+08:00

I just can't get enough of Zac Efron! I am so in love with him...gosh! I am head over heels with him...I could just daydream about Zac Efron...

*Sigh*

Here's a video of one of my favorite songs in Hairspray.

Without Love

Oh my gosh...don't you just love it???

Watch Hairspray, people!!!

"Yo le pierdo."

2007-08-14T22:43:00.000+08:00

Sé que es injusto para mí escriba esta entrada en español otra vez. Yo apenas no lo puedo ayudar. Siempre que quiero escribir algo grave acerca de...usted sabe...yo apenas no lo puedo decir derecho.

Deseo había una manera que acabo de conseguir fuera de mi sistema sin esconder detrás de este idioma. Pero adivino que no es tiempo. Todavía no, por lo menos.

Yo lo pierdo. Yo lo pierdo mucho. Sé que está loco pero eso es exactamente cómo yo me siento. Yo todavía no diré que yo lo adoro o nada. Yo sólo quiero verlo. Ha sido demasiado largo desde que duramos vimos uno al otro. Yo sólo quiero estar con él otra vez.

Deseo que él pueda leer esto. Por otro parte, yo deseo que él nunca supiera acerca de esto. Por otro parte, él no sabe acerca de esto. Debe permanecer así por la mala vez.

Estaré esperando...

The Mind Wanders at 3:24 in the Morning.

2007-08-13T03:24:00.000+08:00

It seems that no matter what I do, no matter how much I try...I tend to wake up so early in the morning, nothing can get me back to sleep. That is, until the time I turn on my computer, log in my blog and publish a new entry. Oh what a way to make myself sleepy again.

For the last two days, I was...how would I put it...unusually happy. Recently, people have been saying that this year has been the happiest they've seen me ever since. I, on the other hand, didn't see it like that. I actually had to stop and think why...and I realized it was because of one special person. Still, this surge of emotions is not a result of being in love. I think that at this age, I'd know that I'm in love. I'm just not there yet.

Do I want to be at that point where I can say I am in love with someone right now? Truth is, no. I'm just not ready. I have too many things going for me that I'm afraid if I go into a relationship, everything is going to suffer. *Sigh* I distinctly remember last week when my friend, Jane, asked me why is it taking me too long to admit my feelings. I answered her directly, "Because there is nothing to admit." There just isn't anything there to admit. Even if there is, why should I be the first one to say it? I'm not that kind of girl. As much as I wanted to satisfy Jane's "appetite for the truth," I simply can't.

* * *

Three days ago, I had a talk with my friend's mom. Oh my gosh...I tell you, when we were done talking, I was feeling so happy, every negative feeling I had that day was gone. We didn't really talk very long but...it was one of those conversations that sticks with you until who knows when. She told me how much she misses me and how she would want to see me again soon. She'd like it very much if I visited her house again when I am free. I told her that the next time (hopefully soon) I visit, I would teach them how to make leche flan.

It's not a big secret that Tita said something a few months ago that rattled my nerves. Sometimes, when I think about it, I would still get goosebumps. If only I can make Tita's comment come true. But the fact of the matter is...it has to be done from their side, not mine. Haha! Enough said.

Days, months, years passed...I have loved their family more and more. I have become so attached to their family, I have to say, it will be very hard not to even think about them.

* * *

Yesterday, I was able to talk to him...finally, after such a long time, we had our conversation. I missed talking to him about the "simple things." Whenever we talk, it wasn't really about we really wanted to talk about...it was about things that happened that didn't really affect us directly. So...I'm happy to have had that talk with him yesterday.

We're going to see each other in a couple of days. I can hardly wait for that. It's really not a big deal but...well, all right, in a way, it is a big deal for me. Like I said before, I just missed him...very much...that seeing him by then would probably make me very, very, very happy for a long time. I'll see him before I go on my retreat, which is a good thing. Hehehe...

* * *

There you have it. My blog for the day. At least, my entry for now. Fret not, dear readers, this is not the end of it.

I finally hear the calls of my bed, luring me to go back and lie down. Sleep is waiting for me. My eyes are seconds away from finally closing.

I'd like to say good night but...look at the time.

Good morning, everyone!

Good Night.

2007-08-12T00:05:00.000+08:00

As the days gone by
and the darkness at hoods

I lay down to my bed
in cold evening solitudes

Wish you're by my side
to cuddle me and warms

But everytime I made turns
nobody's there in my arms

My heart greets you goodnight
but miles separates, no lights

Oh, You are far of my site
moonbeams holds me tight

You don't know how you've been miss
I will let you taste my goodnight kiss.

But I hope your in my side tonight
to kiss you my sweet good night!

Quotable Quotes.

2007-08-11T21:55:00.000+08:00

Can you actually guess who said these memorable lines?

"I am an angel with horns."

* * *

"Bakit hindi na lang kasi si Margie ang ligawan mo?!"

* * *

"Boss Marge!"

* * *

"I'm sick. Nakakahawa ka!"

* * *

"Eto, texting you habang may work. Baka kasi magtampo ka pag hindi ako nag-reply eh."

* * *

"Paki-explain naman sa akin yung decision."

* * *

"Hug sabay kiss na lang."

* * *

"Pwede bang ikaw na lang?"

* * *

"...Miss Editor-in-Chief Prettygalmaggie."

* * *

"Yellow Cab! Yellow Cab!"

* * *

"Prettygalmaggie! OK ka lang dyan?"

* * *

"Magmukha akong sexy nyan."

* * *

"Virus ata blog mo eh."

* * *

"5'10"... Buti nagkasya ako."

* * *

"Thanks Margie! Having you in my life this year is one of the greatest blessings I received."

It's Another Saturday Morning!

2007-08-11T08:18:00.000+08:00

Good morning, world! How do you do? It's a brand new day and what better way to start the day than to wake up to the sound of your phone ringing at 4:00 in the morning and hearing the voice of your friend, reminding you that you have get up and get ready for your 7:30 class.

Wait--that's not the case.

I forgot to tell my friend that I didn't have class today. Oy vey! But I still consider it a sweet gesture from my dear friend. It's quite funny, you see, I was talking to him on the phone all night and yet...I forgot to tell him that I don't need to go to school. Tsk tsk tsk...

Oh yeah...I forgot to say that friend is a guy. Don't get your hopes up...I have five words for you: HE-IS-JUST-A-FRIEND! Entiende?

I know you're reading this, Sir...not a word out of you!

I gotta go...for now. I still have to go somewhere.

Ciao!

P.S.
Happy birthday to my high school friend, Vica Hernandez!!!

Spending Friday in an Unusual Way.

2007-08-10T21:08:00.000+08:00

It wasn't like any other Fridays I've spent.

A typical Friday for me was spending the morning at home, checking my email, watching television and eating lunch. The afternoon was usually spent in Starbucks, studying a chapter or two of Bernas' Public International Law for Saturday's class with Sir Bugaoan. I would be there until 6:00 in the evening, sometimes with my friends, Marvi and Tracy, but usually I'd be alone. By 6:00PM, I would immediately go home, cook dinner, set the table, eat with my parents.

That's my typical Friday.

However, today was a peculiar day. More than peculiar, I should say.

I haven't had class since Wednesday due to the storm. I've been bored at home, doing nothing, so I thought I'd go to school and study up for next week's classes. I got to school around 11:30 in the morning and I immediately proceeded to The Scholastican Office. Fortunately, Peachy was there so we got to talking about the design for the jacket and the graphics for the first issue. A few minutes after 12:00 noon, I got hungry -- again -- so I decided to eat...again. I went to the canteen and bought myself Green Mango Shake and Bacon and Egg Sandwich.

Damn! It was then that I remembered that I just went through my monthly appointment with my ortho. The second I bit on that sandwich, I instantly felt the pain I should have gotten used to, considering I've had these braces since I was in second year high school. Oh the pain!

Anyway, I went back to the office and talked to Peachy about the graphics we needed in the first issue. After 15 minutes, I had to meet my friend at the Pergola to give her something. As soon as that was done, I went back to the office. On my way there, I met up with...who else, but Sir Bugaoan. We had a little chitchat about...my blog, as usual. My gosh, this was the time that I realized he just wouldn't let it go. Hahaha! He's very curious about what I write in my blog...which is fine with me. I can't say that it's invasion of privacy. It's on the internet. I'm practically putting myself out there. Fortunately for me, a certain someone is still oblivious to the existence of this blog.

After having the conversation with my professor (quotable quote: "OK ka pala magblush, no? Pati arms mo namumula.), I again went back to the office and waited for my classmate, Easter. We had to talk about some things...academics, extra-curricular. Those kinds of stuff.

Around 1:30, I decided to go to Starbucks. I was meeting my best friend, Chi. I had to go there as soon as possible. It was hard to get a decent seat in the afternoon.

* * *

Chi and I met up around 2:40. We hung out, talked about what's happening with our lives, all that Best Friends stuff we usually do when we meet up. She was actually keeping me company. I was studying while she was being her usual happy twenty-year-old. Yes, Chi...you're 20! Hahaha!

Chi had to leave me alone for a while. So once again, I was on my own in Starbucks. Oh my! Once again, someone went up to me and introduced himself. What was it? First, Gab...now, this guy?!? What the hell was up? The first thing he said was, "Hi! May kasama ka ba?" I looked at him with "the look" I usually give to total strangers, especially to guy strangers. "Pwedeng makiupo?" He said next. Immediately, I looked down and told him I wasn't interested. He stood there a while. I looked at him yet again and said, "Not interested." The guy wouldn't give up. I had to go to the next level. I said, "Taken." The moment he realized he had no chance, he walked away with that somewhat defeated posture.

Luckily, my best friend was back. No one dared to come near our table again. Yahoo! We were once again back in our own little world. A couple of minutes later, Chi's sister, Claudia came and joined us. So there we were...Tres Mujeres. Hahaha!

Around 6:30 in the evening, I was joined by my two professors, Sir Bugaoan and Sir Peter. Hehehe...this was the first time my friends saw my professors. Introductions were simply necessary. After introductions, Chi and Claudia were off to eat dinner and I was left with my two professors.

So there I was with Sir Bugaoan and Sir Peter. Hmmm...you'd think that it was a very dull moment. Not at all! No way! Not even close. Quite frankly, every minute was a blast. The presence of my two professors there was simply a funny thought. I never thought I'd spend time with them. Again, they were asking me about my blog. Tsk tsk tsk.

Time passed by and Sir Peter said that he had to go home. I was itching to go home, myself. Sir Bugaoan still had other plans. So, I went home by jeep as my two professors walked back to school.

That was my peculiar Friday.

Hmmm...this is quite an entry. I just realized. Haha!

Oh well...at least I could say that I've recorded it in my history before I forgot about this day. Although...what was to forget?

Bottom line...I had fun today.

*Yawn* I'm getting sleepy. My bed is already "screaming" for me to go to sleep.

Good night, dear readers!

Until my next entry...

New Haircut.

2007-08-09T15:03:00.000+08:00

I was bored. I had nothing to do after going to my ortho appointment. I decided I would get a haircut today.

No more chitchat...here I am with the new haircut.

Notice the difference?

Untitled.

2007-08-09T10:10:00.000+08:00

Rain...

Softly falling down
each drop a symphony of sound
as it hits the tin roof
tap...tap...tap.

It can sound just like a sad song with a slow beat
the kind that makes you daydream
and feel sad and sigh
as you think of what might of been or could be in your life.

Or maybe it is a happy song that brings back sweet memories
tender thoughts and special smiles
thinking of someone who makes your heart beat faster
and your laughter ring with happiness and joy.

Or maybe it is a love song
with sweet and soft lyrics
tender and romantic and sensual
that makes you think of dancing in the rain.

Only you can decide which song
is the one you are hearing
which music soothes your soul
and which song you want to sing along with.

Sometimes, you have to choose a song
and the choosing isn't easy.

Another Blog Entry.

2007-08-08T17:05:00.000+08:00

It's strange. It's funny, actually, how certain people in your life turned out to be.

Who would have thought...
...a friend for six years suddenly became a stranger?
...a stranger you've just gotten acquainted with became an instant friend?
...a professor you didn't want to have changed into the professor you've always looked forward to?
...a mentor you thought highly of developed into a friend you never thought you'd have?
...a person you fell in love with unexpectedly turned into someone you don't want to be with?
...a person you never expected to be your friend came to be the person you feel most comfortable with?

Amazing, huh? How you suddenly see people in a different light. Yes, I know there are those gave you tears and heartaches...but for the most parts of your life, you meet people who change you in a good way.

This is a realization that just struck me a couple of hours ago. Crazy realizations. They hit you when you least expect them. But you're lucky to realize such wonderful things. It only means you're living your life the way you're supposed to live it.

I had to enter this in my blog. It's not to impress people or something. Hopefully, people who are reading this would also realize that there's a lot of good things in this world. No matter how bad things would turn out to be, there's always something good that happens to you.

At 21 years of age, people say I still have a lot to go through. I don't doubt that. Not at all. However, at 21, I have to say that I've gone through so much that a lot of people can't say they have. I consider myself lucky.

I count my blessings. That's for sure.

Before I end my blog, let me just greet my dear friend, Kits Falcis, who is celebrating his birthday today. Hehehe...happy birthday, Kits! I didn't forget...God bless you on your special day!

With that, I say...

Goodbye!

You Came.

2007-08-05T20:14:00.000+08:00

You came like spring
And lit my soul on fire
When the birds began to sing
You came and inspired

When the flowers began to bloom
With the smell of spring in the air
You took away the gloom
And taught me how to care

I'll never be the same
You breathed new life into me
I'm so glad you came
A true friend you'll always be

Preposterous!

2007-08-01T10:20:00.000+08:00

I'm not the confrontational type of person. Never was. Probably never will be. But if I have to up to that person to make him or her understand that I shouldn't get blamed for something I didn't do, I'm going to do it.

It's frustrating to find out that a certain authority is actually furious because of the claim that the school publication is being irresponsible.

Can somebody tell me how going to SAO to ask for weekly updates on college activities is irresponsible?! Can somebody actually say that I am not doing my part as Editor-in-Chief?! I cannot believe that someone has the audacity of accusing me that I am not doing my job when I am actually working my butt off to actually do my job!

I'm sorry if I'm coming off as offensive and maybe even disrespectful to authority. But it's an insult. Plain and simple! I feel like I have been reduced to a low life form.

I have to get back to my other responsibility: my studies!

Something Strange Happened to Me Today...

2007-07-30T18:29:00.000+08:00

Funny story.

You'd think that after all this time of spending study hours in Starbucks Vito Cruz, there's nothing more that could surprise you. Little did I know that the biggest surprise happened today.

This is one weird day.

I was reading some handouts for tomorrow's class, deeply absorbed in the many pages which seemed like it has no end at all. A plate of cinnamon roll on the right side of the table and a grande mocha frappucino on the left. My handouts was right in front of me, as I was holding my green highlighter and ruler on the paper. Earphones were intact as my iPod played "When the Stars Go Blue" by Tim McGraw. Out of nowhere, I felt someone tap me on the shoulder and heard a voice saying, "You look like you're very absorbed in your studies." I looked up and I saw this guy, a smile on his lips and his eyes were directly looking at me.

In this kind of situation, I am usually the type to snob the guy and raise an eyebrow to make the person feel that I want him to back off. Alas, that wasn't the case. As I looked up at him, I actually responded with a smile and the next thing I knew, he was sitting in front of me and we were making conversations. Surprise, surprise.

His name is Gab. He is a fourth year Business Management student of De La Salle University. He came up to me, thinking all the while that I was actually a student of DLSU. In the course of our conversation, we found out we actually have one thing in common. Actually, we have one friend in common: Kristina Tabas. This is the part where I say, it's a small world after all. Who would have thought that this is one of those days when I'd actually get to meet someone?

In all fairness, it didn't really seem like he's flirting. He really didn't come off like that. He was indeed very friendly. He was constantly smiling...which may be the reason why I couldn't stop smiling back.

Of course, thoughts ran through my mind. I was a little perplexed with the whole thing. I couldn't help it. I had to ask him: "Why did you all of a sudden come up to me and started talking to me?"

His answer was simply this: "You seem like a nice person and I'd like to talk to you."

I was simply in shock. I tried to hide the surprise but I guess it simply surfaced. I could feel my cheek warm up and that was a sign that I was blushing profusely.

In the end, he had a class to attend to and I was to meet my high school friend in a little while. He asked for my number. Did I give it to him? Surprisingly, yes, I did. Don't ask me for the reason why I did. Fact of the matter is, I am still confused about the whole situation.

No, I am not complaining about the whole situation at all. Yes, there's that little part of me that is quite happy that it happened...although the bigger part is still puzzled with everything that has happened.

Well, bottom line is...he has my number and I have his. Whether or not he contacts me, I don't really mind. It's really no big deal.

That's it. I just felt I had to "write down" what happened today.

Now, it's recorded. That's what matters.

Ciao people!

Back to Blogging.

2007-07-28T19:37:00.000+08:00

It has been twelve days since my last entry in this blog...and what a thrill it is for me to do another entry. It's nice to finally get the stress out of my system. I've been holding in some frustrations this past couple of days. Fortunately for me, no one noticed that I've been in a bad mood.

The stress is definitely evident. I've been all over SSC -- interviewing TS hopefuls, scheduling upcoming activities, reading handouts, researching data for thesis...the list goes on and on. As soon as I got home, I didn't even have time to "just relax." I still had a lot of things to do and I wish I could say that I was able to do them all. That's not the case, my dear readers.

July is almost ending and...well, it's midterms season. Damn! That fast, huh? I can't believe that in a matter of days, I am actually going to go through the midterm examinations. Oh my...too much going on. Lord, help me!

Uh-oh...I have to go now. I have to do something.

3:00 A.M.

2007-07-16T03:00:00.000+08:00

I don't know why. But I suddenly had the urge to wake up and make an entry for my blog at this hour. It's so strange that I have all the time in the world to sleep today, considering I don't have classes...and yet, I chose to get up from my bed, turn on my computer, and log in. Weird. That's all I have to say about that.

My fingers seem to know what to type. They just kept on entering words I didn't think I really want to say for my blog but it is as if these fingers have a mind of their own. Hahaha!

Let's be serious for a while.

At one point in your life, you just have to know when to say "stop." People think that if they pass it on as a joke, it really doesn't matter whether what they say is offensive or not. They think that if they justify what they said as something funny, you wouldn't get hurt. Truth of the matter is, it's frustrating that people don't get what you want them to understand, even though you are already making them feel that enough is enough. It feels like they are doing it on purpose to aggravate you and they still don't think you'd mind because "it's only a joke." Some people can be so insensitive at times. Plain and simple.

So how do you solve a problem like that? You'd think that telling them the truth is the answer but...no way! If you say something to make them know how you feel, these people would find you defensive and say that you have no sense of humor. The thing is...would you still consider it funny if you found out that you offended a person by what you said? Regardless of the fact that you said it as a joke, bottom line is that you offended somebody. That's the time when you should realize...it's not funny anymore.

In a matter of minutes, I found myself quite astonished by what this entry is all about. Does this mean that my subconscious has been thinking about this the whole time? I guess so.

*Sigh* Monday. The week begins again. This time, I feel like there's a wall that blocks me from doing what I'm supposed to. Academics. Thesis. The Scholastican. Oh yes, I'm juggling all these school stuff, on top of my responsibilities at home. It's a little bit disappointing, actually. That there are some things not going exactly the way I planned. It feels like...there's something missing from what I'm doing. What is it? I have yet to find out. Hopefully sooner rather than later.

Once again, I yawn as I revel in the idea of sleep. Maybe that's a sign that I should go back and rest.

For now, I bid you all...

Adieu!

¡Desde Luego!

2007-07-14T15:48:00.000+08:00

Sé que usted no entiende esta parte de mi blog. Es intencional. He estado muriéndome para escribir otra entrada en español. Es una cosa buena que aprendí a cómo escribir hace uno año. Así que aquí pongo de mi parte.

Hay algo yo necesito bajarse del pecho y está loco que cada vez yo quiero compartir algo... Yo siempre tengo para hacerlo en español. ¿Por qué? Adivino que yo apenas no estoy listo para propagar la noticia todavía. No la mayor parte de mis amigos, por lo menos. Más que eso, no a algunas personas que tuvieron acceso de repente a mi blog (la insinuación).

Ha sido un rato desde que yo lo he visto. Ha sido bastante algún tiempo desde que duro mantuve una conversación con él. En resumen, yo lo pierdo. Yo lo dije antes, adivino que he sido utilizado al hecho que nosotros siempre tuvimos el tiempo de saludar uno al otro por lo menos una vez al día. Ahora, es siempre que nosotros ambos tienen la ocasión. Hemos sido ambos ocupado con nuestra propia cosa, mí con mis estudios y TS... él con trabajo y sus otras responsabilidades.

Por supuesto... Yo no lo condono de ello. ¿Quién es hacer eso? Como dijo... Acabo de lo perder.

Bien, pienso que esto es suficiente para una entrada.

Permíta queme acabe de decir...

Awake for a Different Reason.

2007-07-13T23:46:00.000+08:00

It's a few minutes before the clock strikes 12:00. Usually, on a Friday night, I'm up for one reason and one reason alone...I am studying for International Law. Fortunately, Sir Bugaoan gave us a free cut tomorrow since he's going to Cebu. Therefore, no need to study for tomorrow...

So why am I still awake?

I'm busy with the other half of my school life -- The Scholastican. All day long, I have been editing and re-editing articles submitted to me by the section editors. It's not complete yet but there's about 20 articles with me to edit, including articles I've written. *Sigh* I've been doing this editor gig for two years and yet I still can't be very comfortable with the whole thing. What the hell is wrong with me? I can never seem to get the hang of being an editor.

Actually, that is somehow related to my column for the first issue. Oh yes...I'm actually giving you an idea of what my column is all about. Hahaha!

I wish I could write more about this...however, I am still in the middle of watching V for Vendetta on HBO.

Good night in advance!

Writer's Block Gone.

2007-07-11T17:52:00.000+08:00

Finally! I have finished my column for The Scholastican's first issue. This is probably one of my most most difficult moments. I started writing this article last Friday. I thought I was in tip-top shape, considering that I have been blogging and all. Au contraire...my mind was totally blank of what to write. I came up with one paragraph and that was it. I just stared at my computer and tried to come up with something good to write about. Alas, I failed.

Five days later, I finally got rid of my writer's block. From a measly 78 words to a full 862 words in two pages. Yes! I suddenly had inspiration to write what I wanted to write. Of course, I wouldn't say this is perfect. A few more drafts for my column and it's good to go. Now, I have 5 more articles to write until Saturday. Oh God, help me...

Sweetest Thing.

2007-07-07T21:09:00.000+08:00

Today, a friend of mine did something sweet. Quite unexpected...truly a wonderful surprise. How could it not bring a smile to my face? Who would have thought that my friend would do something like this?

No more chit chat. Let the picture show what I mean...

Enough said...

Secrets Unveiled.

2007-07-05T19:54:00.000+08:00

It felt like my face was all red. I could just imagine myself just seconds from blowing up because of embarrassment. I knew it! It was only a matter of time before people I didn't expect to know about my blog would find out. Oh yes...it's true. Two of my professors (yeah...you know who you are...hehehe) have discovered my blog.

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!

It's not really a problem that they read my blog. I've got nothing to hide. But it really just makes me wonder...how did they find out about my blog? I asked one professor, and he simply said, "Secret." The other professor said, "It just popped up on my screen." Not fair!

Now that they know about this blog, I think I better be cautious of the things I write. Haha! Just kidding. I'll keep on blogging, of course. About everything...family, friends, school, TS, even the so called love life. Yes, I'll blog them all. I hope that my professors don't use my blog entries to embarrass me in class. Hehehe. Take note! Nothing embarrassing, please.

Anyway, I really don't have much to say at the moment, so...there. I leave this blog for a couple of hours.

Ciao!

Taking a Break.

2007-06-27T18:07:00.000+08:00

After six hours of reading articles that doesn't seem to end for me, I am giving myself a break. I need it. I just got back from Starbucks-Vito Cruz. Ah, that place is a haven for me. I was craving for a Grande Mocha Frappuccino. When I got there, I saw a friend of mine, with three books stacked up on the table, and one book open with pages filled with yellow highlights. I said hi, asked how she was doing, and after a few minutes, I went out of the coffee shop and on my way home.

I got back, turned the computer on and logged in my desktop. While waiting for the browser to upload the Blogger website, I started to think about a few people. Tita Connie, Tito Monching and Kristina are going back to the States. I'm kind of sad because I was able to spend so much time with them than I hoped to. I'm sure going to miss them. It will be years before I get to see them again. Maybe by that time, Kristina's all grown up.

Then there's my high school barkada. Alla, Euki and Chi. Yes, I know...I just saw them last week. But that was just a couple of hours. I want to hang out with them for the whole weekend. *Sigh* How I wish there will be a time when we will be able to bond again. Like the April 14 celebration.

Of course, there's...well, you know. It's been quite a while since I last saw him and I kind of have this feeling of being incomplete. I guess I was getting used to talking to him everyday and seeing him at least once every week...I feel like the day's not complete without even saying hi to him. Weird, huh? For those who know who I am talking about...keep your mouths shut. For those who don't know...you'll find out in time. Hehehe...

Oooh...Transformers trailer. It is finally showing tomorrow. If only I can go and watch. Unfortunately, I'm on the cooking department tomorrow night. Hahaha! Oh yes...I'll be cooking yet again. Which makes me wonder what will dinner be tonight. Papi didn't go to Cartimar to buy food for the day. I am home alone until who-knows-what-time. All I can find in the refrigerator are chocolates and other sweets. Now how is that going to fill my stomach for the evening? Hmm...Papi better brings me food.

I think I've had enough of a break. Have to get back to reading.

Ciao!

It's Blogging Time!

2007-06-26T22:07:00.000+08:00

Oh yes! I have blogged again!

Believe it or not, it is just now that I really had the time to log in my Blogspot and...well, blog away. I have been in school for just six days (for academics) and I don't think I prepared myself enough to enter the school year with so much readings. I expected it, I just don't think I was that ready. Weird, right? But that's the truth about it.

It's amazing how in just less than 10 months, I will be graduating (hopefully). I have to remember there are still some things I need to go through before I can actually say, "I'm done!" I still have to endure the pains of late night study hours, the stress of press work, and the nerve-wrecking preparation for thesis. Good luck to my last school year.

Hmm...my mind is pretty blank right now. I still feel full from eating at Dad's. It's not everyday that I get to eat at an eat-all-you-can buffet for free...I had to eat!

Be right back.

TAGGED: Why I'm Called a Weirdo.

2007-06-11T16:34:00.000+08:00

Instruction:
Each player of this game starts with 6 weird things about you. People who get tagged need to write a list of their own 6 weird things in their blog as well as state the rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names. Don’t forget to leave a comment that says you are tagged in their comments and tell them to read your blog.

* * *

This is not the first time that I have been called a "weirdo." I have been labeled as such by my brothers and my friends. Thanks to my dear classmate and friend, Menchie, everyone knows I am a "weirdo." Haha!

All right! Let's begin.

I am called a WEIRDO for the following reasons:

1. I am a WWE fanatic.
I may not look the part, but I am definitely a fan of WWE! Ever since I can remember, I have always watched wrestling since the World Wrestling Federation days. I can still remember watching Big Daddy Cool Diesel and Razor Ramon and Bam Bam Bigalow and Vader! Hahaha! What's weird is that, even though I watch wrestling, I am most certainly a slapstick. There isn't a violent bone in my body.

2. I prefer reading political or philosophical literature than romance novels.
Not that I have anything against them, but I'd much rather read literature about Plato and Aristotle than characters written by Nora Roberts or Christina Dodd. I don't own any romance novel. But sure, I read light books.

3. I am still single.
Ok. I don't really know how this fits in for being a weirdo, but according to some of my friends that at my age, I should have a boyfriend by now. Hey, it's not that I want to be single forever, you know. Just not now. And they call me weird for it. According to my friends, it's an unresolved mystery. Why is it that until now, I am not in a relationship? Is it because I studied and am still studying in an all-girls-school institution? Is it because I am just not interested? Or is it because...hmm...I don't think I'll finish the last statement. Hahaha!

4. I don't own rubber shoes or sneakers.
Another fact about me that people are having such a hard time to believe. No, I don't own any rubber shoes or sneakers. As soon as PE was over, I am done with them. Sorry people, I'm just not the rubber shoes-slash-sneakers type of gal. I'm more of the sandals-and-stiletto type.

5. I have a mini-library at home.
Oh yes! It's true. It's true. It's definitely a library at our home. Everywhere you go, in our home, books are piled up and yes, everyone at home has read every single book. My last book count for my books is 147. Still counting...

6. I blush profusely when a certain someone gives me compliments.
It's nice to get compliments once in a while. However, I can't help but blush whenever a certain person would say something nice about me. Hahaha! Who is that person? That is for me to know and for you to find out.

* * *

There you have it, folks. Six reasons why I'm called a weirdo. Now to pass on the torch. The six lucky people I'm going to tag are:

* Chi
* Alla
* Euki
* Ykai
* Lei
* Ping

* * *

That ends my blog for the day.

Au revoir!

Three and a Half Hours.

2007-06-10T20:46:00.000+08:00

June 10th.

4 days before I go back to school.

4 days before the beginning of the end.

Yes, I know...it sounds corny, it sounds cliché but I am actually counting down the days until I finish my college years. It's funny how much I am looking forward to graduating. Of course, it can't be helped that I feel a little nervous. But in general, I'm anxiously excited. Hahaha!

First day of school is coming up and well, I had the time to buy new stuff for school. I went to Glorietta last Friday to buy some school supplies. New notebook, new yellow pad, new pens. Then it was time to buy new shoes. I really didn't want to buy new shoes since the shoes I have been using is all right. However, SSC is under a new administration. They said that pointed shoes and stiletto heels are not allowed in school anymore. Weird, right? Well, they reasoned that it was for our own good...because they don't want us to get into any accidents when going up and down the stairs of our school and when we go home. I think it's all bull. Sorry but I think that is just some crazy rule!

On the day I was going to buy my shoes, I received a text from a schoolmate, saying that pointed shoes are now allowed, as long as it doesn't have stiletto heels. Good luck on that! I have yet to see such shoes.

I went around Glorietta and unfortunately for me, there wasn't a pair of shoes for me. Literally. When I found a pair that I liked, they don't have my size. Then I decided to go to SM. Another pointless effort since all the shoes there were pointy and have stiletto heels. If there's a pair I liked, it was too expensive for me. As if! I will not buy a pair of shoes worth over P1,000 for school! No way!

I was starting to lose hope and just go home and wait for another to buy my shoes. But I gave Landmark a shot. Hallelujah!!! After an hour of walking around Landmark. I finally found it! Shoes that I liked and fit me perfectly!!!

Aren't they nice? It took me a total of three and a half hours before I was able to buy a pair of shoes!

Well, I better get going. I still have something to do.

Classes Begin June 14 (for me)...

2007-05-30T18:05:00.000+08:00

It was enrollment day for graduating students. Oh yes, the beginning of the end. Hahaha! I never thought I'd actually be looking forward to my enrollment...particularly this enrollment. I hate the fact that I'm down to 16 units and yet my total tuition fee is almost P32,000. Who wouldn't be so angry about that? So again, it's Plan C for me.

The good news about it all is that...my schedule is pretty light. I only have classes every Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays. Yahoo! Here's the rundown of my schedule:

Tuesday / Thursday
09:00am - 10:30am -- Political Parties and Interest Groups -- Rolando Yu
10:30am - 12:00nn -- Gender, Peace and Development -- Rita Cucio
01:30pm - 03:00pm -- Political Economy and Development Theories -- Peter Cruz

Saturday
07:30am - 10:30am -- International Organization and Law -- Eric Bugaoan

I still have one subject that has no schedule and no professor assigned yet. Political Communication. I just hope the schedule will be on a Tuesday and Thursday. Oh how I wish that it would be.

Classes begin June 13. Wednesday. But since I don't have classes on Wednesdays, my school year officially starts on the 14th. Hahaha!

Well, I have to go...for now.

Ciao!

Rainy Evening.

2007-05-29T21:19:00.000+08:00

Time to blog again. Surprised? I hope not. This is my 130th entry in 7 months. I'm so proud. Hehehe...

Finally! There was rain. I have been waiting for this to come since I felt the piercing heat of the summer. It's nice to feel the coolness of it for once. Well, what can I say? I don't really know what I have to write here. I'm actually feeling very sleepy but I can't go to sleep quite yet. It's roughly 2 weeks left before I go back to school. Yes, it will be the first semester of my senior year. Can you actually believe it? I'm so excited! It may not be very evident in my facial expressions, but deep down, I am telling you...I'm very excited.

Enrollment is here and I am eager to know who my professors are going to be and what my sched is going to look like. Hmm...I wonder...

"Lo digo en serio."

2007-05-28T21:40:00.000+08:00

It's a little bit hard to try and understand myself these past year when it comes to the "matters of the heart." After 21 years, I find myself...waiting. I am waiting to receive those ten signs from above in one guy. Too many signs, I know. But this is something I learned from a conference I attended to. I don't intend to reveal those ten signs...well, not just yet.

A lot of people would say...I'm crazy to just "wait" for love to happen to me. For me, I believe it's what God intends us to do. I am not the one who believes I have to wait for the career to come to me, for the job to be found, for my life to go forward. That, I believe, I have to do everything I can to fulfill them. However, when it comes to love, I wait. I would wait.

Call me traditional, call me old-fashioned, but I do believe that whoever God has intended for me, he's out there somewhere and he's coming for me. Whether I have yet to meet him or I already know him, I leave it all to God.

People ask me if there's someone I like. I keep telling them that I only see these people as my friends. I can honestly say that I like someone but...to like someone is so much different from feeling something towards that someone. The people in my life right now...they are all my friends. Yes, even him. I dare not say his name because he may be reading my blog and I don't really want to make it such a big deal. Haha!

I've been through many heartaches, through many heartbreaks. I don't really think that it's the right time to trust my heart to fall for someone again. Yes, life is short, no one knows how my life's going to turn out. But if there's one thing I'm sure of...it's this: God has plans for me in every aspect of my life. Whatever His plans are, I accept.

With that, I leave this blog with this...

Tengo interés en usted pero hasta que el tiempo venga, yo no hablaré de cómo yo me siento.

Note: If you know what the Spanish sentence is...keep it to yourself.

Letter to Pam Mercader.

2007-05-28T21:35:00.001+08:00

Read This Letter.

2007-05-27T23:01:00.001+08:00

Realization Hits Me Hard.

2007-05-27T21:14:00.000+08:00

After two years of being in the Editorial Board of The Scholastican, I have realized something. That realization is this: I care about TS too much to settle for just "OK." Thinking about the coming school year, I don't want the school publication to compromise on what we already have. If only that was possible. To me, I can't do that. How can I settle for facilities that are nowhere near "good enough" to work with? That is just unacceptable. Totally unacceptable. The office is too small to do presswork, the computers are so slow to work on the layout, the internet is not always up to use for publication research...how could we possibly work with that? I know I'm demanding a lot but it's something I believe TS has to have to do what we need to do.

I said it before. TS is half of my school life. When it comes to college, I only care about two things: my performance in my academics and the school publication. If I fail on these two, I would absolutely break down.

Now that I am the Editor-in-Chief of TS, I want to make sure that the students remember me as the student who gave it her all and made sure she delivers what the publication is meant to serve. To be honest, I try not to think too much of what the whole campus is expecting from the publication. All I want to concentrate on in TS is that we have a responsibility to the campus. TS stands on its own. TS doesn't play second fiddle to the administration or to any other organizations.

It surprises me how much passion I have for this publication. I mean, I know I love writing and I love being part of the campus paper. But this passion is just so surreal. I can't even begin to describe how attached I am to TS.

I wish everything that we plan for the publication will be accomplished. I really hope we do. I want to leave a legacy to my Alma Mater. Not to be popular to the students, but to serve as an inspiration that great things can be done if we just put our hearts and minds into it, if we just commit to it. School hasn't even begun and here I am talking about leaving a legacy. Too early, I know...but...that's just how I want Scholasticans to remember TS under my editorship.

I love journalism. I love writing. I love The Scholastican.

Enough said.

Seriously.

2007-05-26T21:18:00.000+08:00

As years pass by, some things in life have become more complicated than I would have expected them to be. It's funny when people tell you to just go with the flow. Yeah sure...go with it, wherever it may lead you. But we don't know for sure that if we simply go with it, things might lead to something much more...difficult. They might lead to something much more complex. That's how things are right now with me.

When I was 4 years old, I said I wanted to become a doctor and save lives. I could have...if I didn't find out that I am freaking scared of blood. I wouldn't last one minute in an operating room. Haha! In fifth grade, I wanted to be a teacher. But when I got to high school, I realized I didn't want to be the person standing in front of students who asks the most difficult questions and end up not being able to give them the answer they were looking for.

Then I said I wanted to sing. Well, let's just say that didn't last long because I found myself slowly losing interest in making music as my career. Sure, I love music and I love to sing but the truth of the matter is...I don't see myself making a career out of my singing. After all that, it hit me. Second year high school. I knew what I wanted.

A lot of people think that I don't have a problem living with my life at this point. To them, I seem like the type who's sure of what is to come my way. That's a lot coming from them. Most of my friends see me as the one who's almost there, reaching my goal. Well, I wouldn't put it that way. Sure, they got it right when they say I'm in the right track. But I wouldn't exactly say that I'm almost there. I still have a long, long, long, LONG way to go before I reach my goal. I know that after I graduate, I won't be getting the job of my dreams immediately. So...I don't think it's quite right to say I'm there.

Yes, I am a PolSci student. When people hear that I take up political science, they always ask me if I plan to take law afterwards. I would instantly shake my head in disagreement because becoming a lawyer is not even close to what I want for my life to become. My parents, especially my mom, wish that one of her children would be lawyers and I think she was banking on me, for the reason that I was always watching shows with courtroom trials and anything that has something to do with lawyers. I thought I'd be a lawyer, too. But I got to realize something right before I got to college. That realization was...I want to write. I want writing to become my career, my life.

So why am I studying political science? Because I realized that in order for me to write what I want to write, I have to learn how to write substantively. And in order for me to write something that makes sense, I have to learn how to think both analytically and critically. That is why I wanted this course. Not that I am bashing print journalism or communication arts or mass communication. I totally respect these courses. However, I feel that when you believe that you're meant to become a writer, then that would just mean, you are a writer. The technicalities of writing, I have the basic knowledge about it. Judging my capabilities, I realized then that I needed to develop the way I think and the way I see things that happen around me in order for me to write about it. True enough, it worked. My perspective about society definitely turned a full 360°. I owe it to this course, to the subjects I am taking, to my professors.

I was talking to a friend of mine about two weeks ago. When she asked me what I wanted to do after college, I told her that I wanted to write. It was funny because her reaction was, and I quote, "Magra-writer ka din? Talaga? Overqualified ka na dun!" (note: yeah, you know who you are). But I know it's my "calling" to be a writer. So I forget about other people's comments of not pursuing it. This is what I want. In time, I know I'm going to get what I want.

Stay tuned for more entries. Haha!

Ciao!

Morning.

2007-05-26T08:04:00.000+08:00

I woke up around 6 in the morning and the first thing I did was turn the television on, pop the ANTM Cycle 7 in the DVD player and start the TV marathon. I know...I am being the lazy person at the moment but...I think it's safe to say that I deserve this rest. The past week has just been so stressful and tiring but...it's all fun. I've done my required hours for my practicum but I still go to the office. Hehehe...I like going to the office. It's nice...it's fun. Oooh! Thanks to Sir Marc for treating me and Pam at Starbucks. Hehehe...it's been months since I last had a Starbucks frappe. We also ate Pancit Malabon and Goldilocks cake for the May celebrants at ASPAC...which reminds me...happy birthday, Ms. Rose!

I'll be back later on. Still watching ANTM.

I Have Blogged Again.

2007-05-23T20:04:00.000+08:00

Yes, I haven't been blogging recently. You could just imagine how busy my summer is. OJT at DFA...data gathering for thesis...preparations for TS. Oh the stress! My stress level is already past the limits. But the bottom line is...I'm having fun!

OJT in ASPAC is over but I still report to work. There's just so much to do and there are so many things to learn. I'm really glad that I was assigned in the Office of Asia and Pacific Affairs.

Thesis is easier for me now that I have access to the library. It's also good for me that I have been exposed to what's going on in the conferences I have attended. This is it!

TS...half of my academic life. I swore to myself the day I officially became the Editor-in-Chief that I won't let the school paper down. I have to stand up and fight for the publication. From the beginning, I have had a lot of pressure coming from the administration, the college...almost everyone around me. People think it's that easy to just release an issue. When we release something to raise social awareness, some students find it "very heavy" to read. I know it shouldn't all be politics and social issues...but I think it's better to do these kinds of publications than release something more on music and plays and activities. It's not just about what's going on inside the campus anymore. It's also what's going on outside the college.

We had our first EB meeting last Saturday. I was ecstatic to have the EB with me and when we started discussing initial plans for the paper, it hit me...I feel like...it's going to be great. *Sigh* I'm sure this is a year I would cherish with TS.

Well, I have to go now. Still have to do some stuff.

Ciao!

OJT at DFA.

2007-04-28T21:58:00.000+08:00

I find it quite astonishing to suddenly realize something about your life after spending a few weeks in a place you'd never thought to be in.

This month, I had my On-the-Job Training at the Department of Foreign Affairs. Right now, I am assigned at the Office of Asian and Pacific Affairs - Southeast Asia Division. At first, I really didn't feel like it. I wanted to be in another office. But for some reason, I got ASPAC. After the first two hours of adapting to the environment, I finally got my act together and worked well with my supervisor and other "bosses" and my co-intern in the division.

Sir Marc, one of my "bosses", is just the funniest guy. He cracks me up everytime he starts to say something out of the blue. Absolutely nothing to do with work! However...this is what I have to say about him. He's like the type of guy who, in my opinion, is all about fun but when it comes to work, he gets things done. I admire his concentration on his work so much. Sir Marc is just as old (errr...as young?) as my brother, Kuya MIguel...which is why he doesn't like it whenever I call him "Sir" or whenever I say "po" and "opo" to him. He said, it makes him feel old.As a matter of fact, his fun nature reminds me of my brother. It is a very difficult thing to do...not to call him "Sir." Hmm...maybe in the future, when I am already a graduate. Hehehe...

Then there's Ms. Pilar. She is in charge of Oh my gosh! To me, she is the perfect balance of fun and seriousness. I wish I had her discipline. Ms. Pilar is just someone to admire...in every aspect. Her simplicity in life, her determination at work...what's not to like? She's really someone I can look up to and I'm proud to say that under her supervision, I'm learning a lot of things. I've already learned so much from her after a few weeks of training under her wing.

Of course, how could I ever forget Ms. Rose? Ms. Rose is just the kindest person I have ever worked for. She literally teaches me everything I need to know about the whole process in the office, she encourages me to attend the meetings they have organized, she explains almost everything there is for me to know. I owe a lot of my newfound knowledge to her. How could I ever thank Ms. Rose?

Pam. She's my co-intern in the division. She's studying at Mindanao State University, taking up International Relations. She's just a natural joker. We have a lot of fun, Pam and I. We have a lot in common, which is why I think we get along so well. Pam is someone I will never forget...no matter how hard I try. Hehehe...she's that much unforgettable.

I'm having a lot of fun in DFA, which is a little bit surprising, because I was pretty scared at first on account of I have no classmate taking OJT at DFA too. But because the people I'm working with are just so nice...how could I not feel so at home?

We'll see what happens next during my OJT.

Stay tuned.

Ciao!

Turning 21.

2007-04-12T19:02:00.000+08:00

I'll be 21 soon. I will be turning 21 in about 5 hours. Wow! It seemed as if it was just yesterday that I celebrated my 20th birthday and now...well, you get the picture.

I honestly cannot imagine myself stepping into the world of "adulthood" in just a matter of hours. I mean, I know I'm already an "adult" but for me, there's something about being 21 that makes it such a big deal for me. I don't know exactly what it is.

For the past few days since I last posted an entry here in my blog, I've been thinking of what I should be doing when my birthday comes. Mamam and Papi said I could go out and have the day to myself. That would be a very nice thing to do. Relax. Have fun. Shop. Parlor! Hehe...that would be a great way to celebrate a birthday.

I'm not being melodramatic or anything here...it's just that...it's really something big for me. You know, turning 21. It's one of those milestones I want to remember every moment.

For the past twenty years of my life...I can say I've gone through a lot. Joy, pain...happiness, sorrow...success, failure...love, heartbreak. It seemed so impossible to go through it but it happened. All those things, they really did happen for me.

I am at a point in my life where I can look back and say, I have a few regrets here and there but I'm happy with what happened with my life. But that doesn't necessarily mean I'm contented with my life. There's still so much to do...so much to see...so much to learn...so much to discover...so much to go through.

*Sigh*

We will see how my life turns out.

Chi Turns 20!

2007-04-08T09:28:00.000+08:00

This one's for my bez, Chi!

Happy Birthday, Bez!

Another Birthday, Another Greeting!

2007-04-04T16:38:00.000+08:00

A very happy birthday to my cousin, Kuya Worldee!

Sick. Blogthings.

2007-04-04T13:32:00.000+08:00

Damn it! I am sick. I have the flu. I can't believe this. It's always during vacation when I get sick. All throughout the semester, I have been waiting to get sick. I have slept in the wee hours of the morning, with some days of no sleep at all. I do the same thing during the vacation (because of work), and I get sick. I was planning of going out today. I wanted to watch Wrestlemania 23 at SM Mall of Asia but...since I got the flu...my parents said I should stay home and rest.

Oh well...I'm going to post some Blogthings again.

What Your Hands Say About You

You are logical, analytical, and rational. You have good verbal skills.

Idealistic and dreamy, you tend toward the impractical. You have a knack for getting yourself in sticky situations.

Consistent and reliable, you like to count on structure and routine in your life.

Your emotions tend to be nervous and potent. Your energy - both positive and negative - deeply impacts your life.

What Do Your Hands Say About You?

You Are Pretty Happy

You generally have a happy, fulfilling life.
But things could be a little better, and deep down, you know it.
Maybe you need more supportive friends or a more challenging career.
Something is preventing you from being totally happy. You just need to figure out what it is!

How Happy Are You, Really?

The True You

You want your girlfriend or boyfriend to be more relaxed, calm, and composed.

With respect to money, you spend as little as possible.

You think good luck depends on maintaining good relationships with others.

The hidden side of your personality tends to be methodical in your ways - with trouble adapting to the rules of society.

You have a tendency to overdo things, but basically you value your friendships highly.

When it comes to finding a romantic partner, you base your search on information from your friends.

Who's The True You?

You Are The Opposite of Machiavellian

You don't have a cynical, power hungry bone in your body.
Honest and kind, you believe being a good person is the most important thing.
While your upstanding morals should be admired, be careful!
You're at risk for being manipulated and toyed with.

How Machiavellian Are You?

You Should Be a Film Writer

You don't just create compelling stories, you see them as clearly as a movie in your mind.
You have a knack for details and dialogue. You can really make a character come to life.
Chances are, you enjoy creating all types of stories. The joy is in the storytelling.
And nothing would please you more than millions of people seeing your story on the big screen!

What Type of Writer Should You Be?

Happy Birthday, Kuya Rom!!!

2007-04-03T11:17:00.000+08:00

Yup! Today is the 30th birthday of my "Big Big Bro"...hahaha!

A big shout out to my Kuya Rom (who is in London at this very moment)...
I just wanted to greet you a very happy happy birthday!!!

I love you, Kuya!

No Comment.

2007-04-02T21:06:00.000+08:00

What Margie Means

M is for Mushy

A is for Animated

R is for Rare

G is for Graceful

I is for Impassioned

E is for Enthusiastic

What Does Your Name Mean?

Your Birthdate: April 13

You don't love lightly. For you, love is always a serious undertaking.
However, you are able to love many types of people. You can bring out the best in almost anyone.
Love surprises you often. You never know when or where you'll find it next.

Number of True Loves You'll Have: 1

Number of Times You'll Have Your Heart Broken: 5

You are most compatible with people born on the 4th, 13th, 22nd, and 31st of the month.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean For Your Love Life?

Your Birthdate: April 13

You're dominant and powerful. You always need to be in charge.
While others respect your competence, you can be a bit of a dictator.
Hard working and serious, you never let yourself down.
You are exact and accurate - and you expect others to be the same way.

Your strength: You always get the job done

Your weakness: You're a perfectionist to a fault

Your power color: Gray

Your power symbol: Checkmark

Your power month: April

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Stay by Color It Red.

2007-04-02T18:53:00.000+08:00

This is a video directed by one of my friends, David Corpuz.
Congratulations on a terrific job, David!
Keep up the good work!

Evening Blogging.

2007-04-02T18:34:00.000+08:00

This is one of those days where all I did is eat, sleep, and watch television. There's really pretty much nothing to do. I was bored out of my mind. I just ate whatever food there was in the refrigerator. I was sleeping after almost every hour. My longest nap today was 3 hours. I watched movies shown in HBO and Star Movies and Cinemax and television shows in ETC and JackTV. Now I am just waiting for dinner to be served. I'm living like a pig! No pun intended.

Hmm...now what?

Oy vey!

I can't even think of something to blog. Woe is me, I tell you! Woe is me!

Birthday Shoutout!

2007-04-02T07:54:00.000+08:00

Today is your day to celebrate
your day to be the star
so let the ones you love all cheer
and say how special you are

A year of fun and happiness
is my birthday wish for you
You are someone special
and your birthday should be too!

Happy Birthday, Jane!

Belated happy birthday to another one of my dear college friends, April Lat!
You know my message, Apeng...

Tarot Card Reading.

2007-04-01T18:15:00.000+08:00

Two of Cups

Briefly: Perhaps a new love is going to appear and involve some long-range commitment for you, the birth of a child or new found love.

Full Reading: The picture on this card shows a man and a woman looking at each other and each one has a cup in the left hand and they are making a toast. There are some heavy black clouds in the background and these may indicate a period of time, such as further in the distance, or in the past. Perhaps a new love is going to appear and involve some long-range commitment for you. The number two can represent time as in days, weeks or months and this may indicate when the encounter will take place. The woman may also become pregnant early on in the relationship, or if a married couple have been trying and this has been delayed or hindered in some way, now it may eventuate. Also there can be a celebration of some kind and this of course could indicate the celebration of the birth of a child. If you are single and looking for romance, then it may be on its way and you could find this person proves to be your soulmate.

The Simpsons Movie.

2007-03-31T18:15:00.000+08:00

A movie 18 years in the making. Hehe...

Showing on July 27th in theaters worldwide.

Coming Soon: OJT at DFA!!!

2007-03-31T13:41:00.000+08:00

This is actually a dream come true for me. This summer, the class is required to have a 200-hour On-the-Job Training. With only less than a month to look for an OJT site, I was pretty lucky to land an internship at the Department of Foreign Affairs.

On April 10th, I start my OJT. Yup! I will be working in the Public Information and Services Unit. This office is in charge of providing information to Philippine embassies and consulates. It also provides local media with information regarding Philippine foreign posts and international news.

I'm really excited to work here. I wonder how my 200 hours will be in the DFA. Hehe...

Anyway, that's just something I wanted to share.

Gotta go now. Bye!

Something I Read in the Internet.

2007-03-31T13:18:00.000+08:00

People with Aries Horoscope love compliments and tend to gravitate towards unrestricted, lively people. They are outgoing and active. If you plan a date with an Arian, be prepared to stay out late and have some fun, as they are filled with energy, and love excitement.

Generally, people with Aries Horoscope like to think of themselves as intellectuals, therefore, the best way to excite an Aries is to approach them on a intellectual level. They are aggressive and passionate. However, be forewarned that Arians has a tendency to be jealous and when in love, wants quite a bit of our time, if not all of it.

They love to be asked for their advice and will give you as much time, guidance, and sympathy that you need. Their advice is usually given straight forth and without hesitation. Although they are frank and candid, Arians Horoscope will gladly share their opinions with you.

An absolute definite way to end a relationship with people under Aries Sign is to start dictating or even more so, dominating them. They hate it. In addition, never give them orders. Not only do they not take orders well, but most likely they won't even listen.

Known to be independent, Arians will be a trustworthy, loyal and exciting partner.

Aries

Perfect Partners:

Leo, Sagittarius

Nearly Perfect Partners:

Gemini, Aquarius

Not Your Destiny:

Cancer, Capricorn

April is Coming.

2007-03-31T08:34:00.000+08:00

It's the last day of March and I'm entering April with a smile on my face. Surprisingly, I'm actually happy and looking forward to celebrating my 21st birthday. Even though my Kuya Rom is still in London on the 13th, the bottom line is that I'm still in the mood to celebrate. For the first time in three years, I can say that I'm excited to turn another year older.

Since I turned 18, I haven't really been happy when my birthday comes along. I don't know, I feel like there's always something missing...there's always something wrong. But for the first time in a very long time...I can smile. I'm just happy. I don't know...I can't quite put my finger why I am.

I just am.

It's nice to really feel this way...as if I have nothing to worry about. I know I have my own problems but after two decades, I have learned to not think about my problems everyday for the rest of my life. I have come to realize that for each day that I live, there is at least one thing I can be happy for, one thing I can be thankful for. That is a lesson learned from the past year.

Maybe...just maybe...it's because of the people around me. There aren't really people making my blood boil. I'm with people who love and care for me, people who care for me. Each one of them is a reason why I always look at the bright side.

Anyway, I have to go. Still have things to do...

Movies Galore.

2007-03-28T09:27:00.000+08:00

Here are a couple of movies I want to see for the coming months. Hahaha!!! I wish I would have the time when they will be shown here...

Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End

TMNT

Spiderman 3

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

Ocean's 13

Shrek the Third

Blades of Glory.

2007-03-28T09:16:00.000+08:00

Ron Burgundy meets Napoleon Dynamite in this one-of-a-kind comedy. I'll be waiting for this...

To Live is to Love. To Love is to Hurt. To Hurt is to Live.

2007-03-28T08:36:00.000+08:00

Pains of love be greater far, than all other pleasures are.
-John Dryden

Ah, to be in love. It is far too complex to comprehend why, after loves initial bewitchment of the lovestruck victimit casts on it a spell of total submission to the joys and pains it brings. To be hopelessly and helplessly in love is a one-of-a-kind experience, an oxymoron of all sorts, for it is bitter as it is sweet, and it is lethal as it is invigorating. You see, the irony of it all is this: to fall in love with someone is to give that chosen one the power to make you happy, and also the power to hurt you the most. It is a double-edged sword, for as much as love can open you up and set you free, it could also cut your throat and stab you to death.

The bits and pieces of broken hearts and the tears shed over love are so many that Cupid should be out of business by now. Hurt within, and out of love is a tragic predicament that you should avoid at all costs as much as you can. It is not an easy task though, because love, in its pure beauty and charm, is simply irresistible. If you're in its good favor, and it is for you, it will take you to a roller coaster ride of being in a heaven to another if it is not, then your roller coaster straps will just snap and youd fall, injuring yourself, bumping and slamming in the tracks, and eventually land on the hard, cold, sharp-rocks-packed ground. Oh how I wish it is an exaggeration, a convoluted use of hyperbole (my English teachers would be sooo proud of me), but it's not.

When love hurts, it hurts - A LOT. It comes in stages: first, denial - initially you refuse to believe everything that has happened and you go on stepping backwards, hoping to be propped up by your protective cushion of the wonderful past; then, incredulity - after the reality of events has whacked your head a million times, you ask the age-old question but how could it be? we love each other; and last, pain - just pure, blinding, bitter as hell pain. And oh, pangs of guilt, anger, and occasional moments of temporary insanity add to the excitement of things. This (loves poking, stabbing, hurting-in-stages action) goes not only for earth crushing break-ups, but also for those petty fights that couples have caused by annoyingly weird, irritating pet peeves that blow up right into their faces, making them think what the hell did I get myself into?!

Then why, oh why, do people go gaga over love? If tales of heartaches are countless and pieces of shattered hearts are strewn all over the world, why long for love, hopefully wait for it, desperately search for it, and stubbornly fight for it?

That, my friend, is love's complex magic.

Because for every tear that is shed over it, a smile is waiting; and for every morsel of a shattered heart, a healing spirit is invoked. I read from somewhere that time does not heal all wounds, love does. And its true. Love awakens the white lighter in each person; and every blow, every stab, every shooting, blinding pain is designed to transform itself to a chi of strength, a jolt of confidence, and overwhelming happiness someday. It is a worn-out clich, I know, but hey it still works- love, and all the joys and especially the pains that it brings, makes you a stronger and better person.

Another clich?

To live is to love. To love is to hurt. To hurt is to live.

* * *

This is a repost from my old blog in Friendster. Lately, I have been thinking about things related to the "L" word. I don't know why but I have to let it out of my system, right?